Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Letting my fingers do the Talking...

I can't for the life of me think of something to blog about. I think a hiatus is seriously in order. Well whenever this happens all I can do let my fingers play with the keyboard.

My fellow male bloggers out there, do you remember the good old days of kudandia? This was when you would imitate makanga/ matatu touts style of jumping on or off the matatu or manyanga while it was still in motion? It was during that activity important physics lessons were reiterated, such as an object in motion stays in motion and the law of gravity.

I had a friend who used to live on one of those routes where there were no matatus but KBS buses only. So things would get rather hectic come rush hour and to get home the only thing one could do is enter the door of the bus and add themselves to the throng of humanity in there.
It was a rainy day and my friend did not see how he was going to spend any more time in town being soaked, so he attempted to force his way into the bus via the back door. The sheer mass of people hanging on the door was slowly pushing him out of the now slowly moving bus; he saw one of the steel rods that he thought was the poles in the bus and reached for it.
As he grabbed on it was steady for a moment but then began to move. What happened next was a blur as he found himself on the wet tarmac entangled in arms, legs and two pieces of metal.
In his haste he had mistaken a cripple's crutch for one of the poles in the back of the bus and held onto it, and ended up pulling the cripple out of the bus onto the everwelcoming wet tarmac. It just wasn't his day.

Another pal of mine was on what we used to think of as one of the coolest matatus in the neighbourhood and thought he would embark in style by leaping off while it was still in motion (dandia style). What he hadn't figured out was that the matatu was moving faster than it looked. He jumped off and couldnt run fast enough and ended up falling and rolling.
The matatu stopped and my friend tried to save face by pretending he was fine and walking off but the makanga stopped him and the driver began to lecture him in front of the chics in the mat he was trying to impress. As the lecture was going on an elderly lady turned to the driver and told him, "usimpigie kelele sana, ni kihii" (don't make so much noise at him, he's just a boy); thus completely tasering his ego! Ah those were the days.
Nothing beats memories.............

In other news. I was going through my usual soccer news and came across these jewels.

Manchester United defender Patrice Evra has painted a grim picture of life in England. "The food is truly catastrophic, and it rains all the time. When there's no training or match, it's a DVD under the quilt to keep warm." But the Frenchman insists he is happy at Old Trafford. He added: "Each day I thank God to be playing in a club like this." - The food might be catastrophic here too but at least it doesn't rain as much as it does over there. No wonder Brits don't smile that much.

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has criticised the club's fans for being too quiet during their unbeaten run at Stamford Bridge. He said: "It's winter now and to sing and move is good to fight against the temperature. For a team with this record at home, I think the players deserve more support." (Various) - Let's be honest if you knew that bar a major cock up or effort from the other team, would you bother cheering for your team? Or even go for games, I hear that Chelsea is having a hard time selling tickets because many people prefer to watch the games at home due to the price and the fact that the outcome of the game more often than not is inevitable.

There was a countdown on MTV of the top 10 best and worst games of all time according to viewers, and a personal favorite of mine showed up as the number 3 best game of all time. Street Fighter 2! Yes in my younger days I used to love me some video games. One of the most repeated statements when playing Street Fighter was.... wait for it......"But I was blocking!"
Damn that was some good fun! They don't make games like they used to....Haduken!!!!

Have a nice day all!


mocha! said...

fao fao fao

Staking my place at the top.

I shall be back!

bantutu said...

Eii bana!!Aco wich route was that,am curious...Well that dude-Yani the-impressing-the-chiks-dude had me PMSL...ati "Kihii" heehee!!
My gloves wulda bin off!!Oh n I totalli concur on the "Games of old" CLASSICS...

Acolyte said...

@ mocha!
Congrats! Now waiting for your comment.
@ bantutu
I can't remember the route number but I think it was one of those 100 and something numbers.
Many sad things have happened to men/boys who have tried to impress women.
Games nowadays are either too complicated or just crap, I don't even bother.

mocha said... it is!!!

Aki cucus in Kenya are the bomb!!! The are fearless and dont give two hoots. Afterall, they have lived their lives. And you wonder why our kids are so disciplined compared to tots abroad. he dude who mistook the crutches for the buspole. That must have been a sight to see.

AAAHHHH video games...street fighter was/is the shiznit. It is true when that you keep saying, "I was blocking" whilst being beaten to a pulp. I love Tekken though and Mortal Kombat is a close second when it comes to fighting games.

Acolyte said...

@ Mocha!
A chic who knows and has played the classic games!!!!I'm in love!!!! Will you marry me so we can game into the sunset?
Don't even get started about stato kids. Imagine a few days ago some teachers a few counties away were carrying placards on the road so as to get parents to come for PTA meetings. Tsk tsk tsk!

SisBigBones said...

LOL...still cracking up on the fact that your friend grabbed onto crutches, surely?!

modoathii said...

kudandia and hanging on doors of KBS was too deadly and thrilling. kwanza this corner of NSSF from community. heart would be in mouth coz nakuambia the dere's would swing round that corner almost toppling the bus.

i'd see guys just grab at anything, even guys belts, bora tu haachwi. lakini your boy forthe crutches takes the cake.

apan, those games bring painful memories. i was always whooped. yaani i even decided to be playing donkey kong (memories) pekee.

The.Hanyeé said...

When buses used to get that packed (especially in the rain), cats like Izoe Newton would have wanted to come skuma mad gravity maths coz there's a way some guys were holding on to nothing but hope when dandiaring...that pal for the crutch, the full cartoon!

Yo, Street Fighter 2 memoirs..Dhalsim was that one (long-appendaged, bad-ass, Yoga-fire-spitting) cat...

MxL said...

I use to try and dandia ended up with serious consequences..

I still play games, hated fighting games...Fifa is especially addictive.

aegeus said...

Those were the days. Street fighter was great, spent many hours indoors pummelling each other to a pulp! Strange that i did not grow up to be violent.

Dandiaring a mat is a skill that you had to acquire then especially if your stop was not a designated one like mine was, you had to walk back close to a km. So, only option learn. "Kanyangia hapo!" and out you came clutching your notebooks to your chest as you did a soft landing and ran then braked to a smooth stop. If executed well you looked bloody brilliant. If not, you shared the ditch with the sewage. Heh heh!

I remember a dude at gill house who attempted to alight in the same fashion and immediately after he had lobbed himself off the mat in the narrow space between the mat and the parked cars, he saw a policeman wedged in, looking at him. So it was a quick choice, run into the cop of the boot of the parked car. Not a choice really, who wants to be charged with 'assaulting a police officer'? So wham! Contact with the boot at around 15 kph. This was met with uproarious laughter from the mat as it cruised by. Cop was too bewildered to stop the mat! ROTFL!

Acolyte said...

@ Sis big bones
Nai is one big drama set I tell you!
@ modoathii
I hear several buses have actually toppled over huko NSSF!
Comp I manage to beat but when my small bro checks into the mix, things get narrow!
@ the.hanyee
when it rains in nai things get really narrow for all.
For those who had no skills in SF2 there was always E.Honda with his multiple fist attacks.
@ mxl
I hope nothing more then your ego was hurt.
I left FIFA at 2005 and it was tha bomb then! Dont know bout now.
@ aegeus
I think some Congressmen need to talk to you, they think violent games breed violent kids.
Now that storo cracked me up, dude must have been in some pain, but at least he learned a lesson or two.

StackOfStiffys said...

Ooh those crazy mat days just rocked and they show offs paid expensively for thir mistakes! English food is just pathetic, I once had an English lunch at some ranch in the Rift Valley and I amke it a good point to date to ask what am being served. I bet the rain and cold is a sure bet why Englishmen get pink-faced at a slight hint of sunshine!

Half 'n' half said...

Hi Aco:
I can honestly say that I have never played video games, but my bro was seriously addicted.
I have a rela in the UK and she keeps on saying british summers are a myth.

mocha said...


That story reminds me of one my pal was telling me. We were in a bus as he narrated the way he saw this dude dondokaring from the bus between NSSF and Kenyatta Hospital. The stops were kinda far from each other so, he decided to alight somewhere in between when the bus stops at the T junction. I am not good at narrating funny stories, but the way my pal told it was hilarious. Ati all he saw was dust from the bushes.

I laughed so hard that everybody sitting close to me in the bus was infected by my fits of laughters. Lets just say I had a headache by the time I got off the bus.

@Aco...let me think about your 'proposal'. I will give you my answer over a game of Street Fighter. Au?

eclipse said...

I totallly rememmber the "but i was blockin" part hahaha man Aco u r too sharp to remember that...those games tose 2D and flat were just off the chains..MK3, lotus...hahaha!

Archer said...

I was a videogmae addict as were all other kids. Streetfighter, MK, Tekken, the works. Now I only play Gran Turismo 4, FIFA 07 and Need For Speed.

I think Mr. Mourinho has a point about Chelsea fans not giving adequate support to the team. We do not command a fanatical following that the likes of Man Utd and Liverpool do. Most of the fans I see on tv are mostly budaz and their kids on a family day out! I'm wondering kwani where are the rest of the fans that were there before the big bucks? (like myself!!)

ritch said...

Acolyte, surely, Nai is such a mix of Hollywood talent. Our gava needs to take this talent seriously (it could earn the country loads of forex!). Just for the cheek of it, what was that pal of yours doing grabbing the creaky crutches of the 'cucu'. And Acolyte you should have said it point blank: A 'kihii' is an uncircumcised young man (or even some of the old men walking tall in our streets!).



alexcia said...

Do you remember days of dropping from bus at the back and ingiaring in the front to hepa the condi?

Some serious sorry mess happened when chick tried to "drop" and fell exposing their nakedness? gosh embarassment does not begin to describe it, and if you did not have your best wiyos

On my route the was this power poll on the junction, the second lesson dudes learnt after dropping was heparing that post.
If you wanted to watch drama, you just stood there at home time and waited.