Friday, December 15, 2006

Bah humbug! And Other Stories......

My disdain for Christmas is well known in the blogosphere. Last year my scoffing began rather early, as soon as I saw the first decorations go up. But this time round it seems people's fervor for Christmas has been quenched, maybe it's the bad economy or they could be planning a sudden ambush? Anyhow I was reading one of my many fave blogs and I came across this jewel that I want to share that sums up how I feel about some of these big holidays that are just turned into commercial spiels by the big corporations...

Stupid Commercials

I was watching football earlier today, and I couldn't help but notice all the annoying commercials, all essentially saying the same thing, BUY YOUR WOMAN ALOT OF EXPENSIVE SHIT. Look, the entire point of commercials is to peddle your product to the target demographic i.e. your audience. Are these advertisers stupid? They're not even selling a product, they are selling you the idea of gift giving. How thoughtful of them.

Here are the commercials I saw

1. Commercial for Lexus. Out in the driveway is a Lexus RX series SUV, with a red bowtie on it. 2 women scuttle outside and assume it's for them. One declares she knows it's for her because it's her favorite color. The other one thinks it's hers because she wanted something shiny for christmas.

2. Another Lexus commercial. Hubby blindfolds his wife and take her outside. in the driveway is a brand spanking new Lexus LS (Base price is well over 60 grand, fully loaded can surpass 80 grand) with a red bow on top. I guess that was her christmas present.

3. Kay jeweler commercial, some douche surprises his wife with a gold bracelet while they are watching TV, and at the end of the ad, the announcer states that sales start at a "mere $3500".

4. Another jewelry commercial, but this time it's Santa. Santa goes to the mall and picks out the most expensive diamond for Mrs. Claus. Takes said diamond to the North Pole to give Mrs Claus, she's all happy and asks how he knows what she wants, Santa winks into the camera.

5. Another jewelry commercial. This one almost seems like a demand. Announcer says "She's been good all year, why don't you do something for her for a change?" Some guy surprises his wife with diamonds. Nothing like subtle shaming language to get your point across.

Seriously, who are they selling this idea to? Who saw these commercials and ran out to buy an $80,000 vehicle as a present? Do men ever get gifts on Christmas?

A few weeks back I got an e-mail about Safaricom wanting to recruit engineers and other professionals to work in Kenya. Since I am not in any of the fields they wanted, I promptly trashed the email.
If I had examined the e-mail much closer I would have noticed some things that Ntwiga has mentioned in his blog. Important things like they do not specify the skill set, experience and positions they have available. It was just a blanket call for applicants. Seems someone went for an "interview" and it left a bad taste in their mouth. Do read Ntwiga's post for more details. This is professionalism at it's worst!
Frankly I think Safaricom need to style up and stop playing us for fools!

Anyway back to my irreverent self. Wendy Williams interviewed Carmen Bryan (Nas' Baby Mama) about her "guess who I slept with?" book aka tell all. I do love the way she skewered her, sprayed lysol on the book and called her out. I mean let's be honest, how do shag and tell?Such things need to be left behind closed doors where they happened! How does your only claim to fame be the people you slept with?!
Ps:Take a look at NY from Flavor of Love, her implants make it look like her chest is going to explode!


mocha said...


LMAO @ Wendy blasting Carmen!

Aki I think I saw a tear!

Acolyte said...

@ mocha
Carmen got her ass handed to her!

am mdkims said...

christmas is going to be cool acolyte ... i have a poem for you and all other bloggers in my blog to keep youse from going to blue ..."Bah humbug" ... favourite phrase of Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol ... he really hated christmas but three freaky-frightening spectres changed all that ... i would not wish that three ghosts visit you but three skimpily-clad, long-legged fairies holding magic wands ... how's that for changing your opinion about x-mas!

Movie Buff said...

Its sad that due to commercialization, many of us [coz I am included in the statistics] have come to hate the holiday season!

I watched that Wendy Williams show. That mama is just an idiot. Ati the last time she had an AIDS test is in 1999! What the hell? And she has admitted to not having protected sex???

I loved the way Wendy Williams sprayed lysol after she left... I love Wendy!!!!!

ritch said...

Hi, Acolyte,
I have put a link to your blog in my blogs:
i) (On Drifting, Wavy Words)
ii) (African Affairs)

Please put links to my blogs in your blog.

Chatterly said...

Christmas is just being commercialised vibaya sana, watu hukosana during christmas coz the presents they got were not *all that*. I am left wondering whether these guys know the meaning of chrismas.
merry christmas Acolyte:-)

Ichiena said...

Aaaach! Aco - stop complaining. I am sure you have bought me that diamond bracelet, you Aco, you...


Prousette said...

Most people use gift giving to atone for their sins through out the year and most commercial enterprises know that; of course some idiots do run out aco to get those bracelets.
To avoid issues that need addressing, the men in particular who have been absent through out the year in their significant other's life buy them.

Ngoja the day you are rolling in millions you might be tempted to do the same!

Merry Xmas, am not buying gifts this year!

Kenyanchick said...

That Carmen creature is disgusting. I can't believe my ears/eyes.

I feel violated.

But Wendy gave her a smack-down proper. LOL at the Lysol!!

Rista said...

Hi Aco,
Hope you at the very least enjoy the day off :-)

StackOfStiffys said...

Safaricom and many more Kenyan companies need to be more professional in recruiting. They were the first to venture into the diaspora (unless am wrong) and now they've made other Kenyan employers look lame. It is one of 2, either they seriously wanted to hire (which I personally doubt) or they wanted to kill the diaspora as a resource base for Kenyan company. Let's face it, sooner or later they'll face the challenge of growing their business (Celtel are now 50% or so cheaper) and what better way is the to kill off the compe than crapping Kenyan employers in the diaspora then get expats from the Vodafone plc?

@Aco: I have a whole post on the commercialisation of Christmas here, and I just hate this commercial glib in Kenya over Christmas with all those infomercials on TV. There is a very STUPID commercial for Safari Cane right here in Kenya, that has a very stupid Kenyan cowboy, who has a gun and rides a horse to the local. Anyway, I trust you survived the finals!

Acolyte said...

@ Mdkims
The day the 3 fairies show up, is when my opinion changes; but as for now it remains the same!
@ movie buff
Christmas sucks! As for Carmen, she had it coming from Wendy!
There is no shame in Wendy's game!
@ ritch
I will get on the links ASAP! Thanks!
@ chatterly
Christmas lost it's meaning when capitalism came along! Have a merry christmas in the snow too!
@ ichiena
Ziiii you get a cubic zirconium instead! lol!
@ prou
Those gifts will only obscure the problems for so long!
Ati you are not buying gifts?! That's a good one!
@ kenyanchick
She has set black women back several years if you ask me!
@ rista
I am most def enjoying my hols!
@ stack
If things are the way you say they are then that is just playing dirty by safaricom.
I think we kenyans have culture issues, first black santas and now kenyan cowboys?! Sheesh! I'm going to your post now.

Girl next door said...

Businesses are rubbing their hands with glee coz almost everyone is running out to buy stuff. Passed by the mall this weekend and it was so crowded.

Watched that Wendy Williams interview and she gave Carmen a hard time. Confessions seem to be the in thing these days.

I really believe that Flavor Flav and New York belong together!

Acolyte said...

I was doing my token black guy thing at American Outfitters, and my! That place was so full that I couldnt buy jack!
I wouldnt call them confessions, more like tell alls.Ugh! Dont even talk about that show!