Monday, March 27, 2006

Time to take out the trash!

There is a post by a certain blogger that brought to the fore something that has been on my mind for some time now.
Firstly there is this disgusting fascination that chics back in Kenya have with white men.Oh they are so romantic, oh they know how to treat women, oh you Kenyan men should learn from them, blah blah blah horse piss!First of all that jungu who you meet in Kenya has saved up for that safari for the last few years so when you see him flashing those notes in Nai you will be surprised to learn that you have a better standard of living here then he does.I dare you to go to Armenia and we'll see how long you last!In fact I will even buy the ticket for you, I mean where else can you find Aremenian men in plenty?Plus too many Kenyan chics back home are so quick to give it up for whitey that I am sorry to say that not too many jungus I knew back home had a high level of respect for them.
Also this romance thing that chics have cultivated from watching too many soap operas and reading too much Cosmo is fleeting.Not to say some romance is a bad thing but jungus are like gas cookers when it comes to relationships.They heat up fast and the cool down just as fast.So from sending you flowers almost daily this dude may one day surprise you and tell you "I am not feeling the love anymore, it's over."We african men on the other hand are slow but sure in our emotions most of the time, we take time to develop and express them but when we do it's for real.Oh also statistics have shown that white men are the least likely to marry outside their race, so by all means indulge yourselves!
Then there are these mamas who believe the way to their heart is through your wallet.It doesnt matter that this chic may earn just as much money as you if not more.At the end of the day according to her she has no responsibility spending a penny on you.I once dated one chic who would not even leave a tip for the waiter after I had paid the bill and another who would not buy popcorn out of courtesy at the movies despite the fact that I had picked her up from home and paid for the movies.Needless to say I consigned them to the trash heap.You know why some women can't attract a man to them to save their lives?It's because they are a frigging burden!You have to put up with their issues/attitude and also pay to have it done.Life is hard enough as it is when you have to pay your own bills plus a woman's.What I believe is that if you can't pay your own bills like rent then I have no role doing it for you because come hell or high water these same women will not life a finger to help you!
These are the same women who equate being a gentleman to spending money on them and running around bending backwards for them.While on the other hand they will not play their role as ladies. You cant have your cake and eat it to!If you say you are independant then be independant even when it comes to courtship and dating, that passive agressive crap doesnt cut it at all!My good friend Instigator put it best:You are making the same mistake that many chics make!You are pricing yourself out of the market!In poker, this is known has having "overplayed one's hand." Having read too many magazines and watched too many movies,many women have proceeded confident in the fact that no matter how avaricious they got, men would still want them and pursue them and keep on trying to live up to their ever-escalating demands.Women have simply priced themselves out of the market, and instead of waking up to this fact have simply escalated the intensity of the delusions - thus hastening the process.That is why the number of marriages has been reducing as opposed to increasing due to the increased financial demands of women in Kenya; you make good money and you expect that the guy you date should make just as much as if not more and burn most of it on you.Guys who have never become addicted to shag find it much easier to adjust to a life without it than those who at one point in their lives believed that half or more of everything they could ever earn was a fair trade for a short term(dating) or lifetime supply (marriage) of shag - even if it was scarce, at least they got some once in a while.Besides with the laxity of morals it is much easier to get laid nowadays then before.Men are not specialized beast of burden born and bred for the specific purpose of dragging around a financially dependent women and girlfriends all in the aim of giving them the "good life."
Dont forget that in your pursuit of the good life that the men who can provide it are few in number and they too have demands.They often prefer young attractive women who will bend to most of their desires and needs.
So do you want to be a rich Armenian's toy (whom he will toss for the next yellow yellow chic who comes) or the wife of a Kenyan who is working his way up the ladder and will respect and cherish you for it?There is nothing wrong with wanting the good life but when that is all you see a man is good for....
ps:I am going to slap the next person who says things like "when I ask a guy out I pay the tab."These are usually the ppl who take guys out during solar eclipses.

Add to this that these are the same chics who decide to date older men who can fill the black hole that is their greed.What few of them dont realise is that few of these men are going to leave their wives for them, so they waste their productive years being strung around.So while your agemates are living the hard knock life supporting their "broke ass" men who are working their way up with their young families, you enjoy the good life.But guess what?You are going to get to middle age and realise that you have no kids,family or husband because you wasted all that time waiting on a married man.Plus the guys you originally rejected because they were too broke will have no time for you, because we don't eat left overs!
"Women are goddesses you hear me..." No not all women are goddesses just like not all men are masters of the universe.A true lady is like a diamond hard to find and recognise but women are like coal, all over the place ready for you to stub your tow on.Women are all everywhere but ladies and good wife material are few.Even the Bibe says in the Amplified version of proverbs 18:22 He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
I do realise that I am ranting but some things have to be said.I do not believe that a man is under the obligation to pay for a woman's time.Their are women who sell their time and they are called escorts.If you can't spend time with a guy without him having to spend money on you then don't be surprised when he tries to get into your panties; after all it's a favour for a favour.
I am by no means telling chics to put up with deadbeats and broke asses.But when chics are more concerned with what a man drives then what drives him, no good can come of that at all.In effect reffering to the poker analogy, the more demands a chic places on prospective suitors, is like setting up and obstacle course.And on this course putting all the obstacles one can think of ie water pit,hurdles, walls, tyres, nets,blind fold section etc.Do you know what happens?After a while no one wants to run that obstacle course when they know there are easier obstacle courses with better prizes available.So your obstacle course ends up gathering dust.So the next time you turn away that kawa dude because he cant pay for a night for you and friends at Club Sound or whichever club is in vogue don't be surprised when he turns you down when he gets his!


Joseph Walking said...

putting all the obstacles one can think of ie water pit,hurdles, walls, tyres, nets,blind fold section hahaha!

acolyte said...

@ joe
You would be surprised at the number of obstacles women put up!I once met a chic who said she would have to have some sort of gift from her man to be everyday!Needless to say she is still single.

Joseph Walking said...

lol acolyte! am trying to stay away from this one. lol acolyte women are fragile be gentle kijana lol

acolyte said...

@ joe
I am patiently waiting for the blowback!

Udi said...

lol. u guy, i am still chekaing about your post. that was hilarious. couldnt put it petter myself

Movie Buff said...

WOW Aco.... that was a mouth full. I do agree with a lot of what you are saying.... there is a tendency to go for the older, married man for reasons that I dont fathom and even more so, dont care to fathom.

As for those who wait [please note that I said wait]....for men to pay their bills... that just a bit gold diggerish [I know the word does not exist].... what women like to argue is that, they like to be taken care of... All I have to say is that there is a huge difference between a man taking care of you and being a leech.....

Kenyangal said...

1."We african men on the other hand are slow but sure in our emotions most of the time, we take time to develop and express them but when we do it's for real."
YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!I have enough evidence of african men being players. Men of all races are all the same in this aspect, when they fall in love its all good but the rest of the time they can and will play with the woman's emotions left right and center while professing undying love.

2.Then there are these mamas who believe the way to their heart is through your wallet.It doesnt matter that this chic may earn just as much money as you if not more.At the end of the day according to her she has no responsibility spending a penny on you.
I don't know the reasoning behind those 'mamas' actions but in my case i don't believe in paying at dates especially at the start when you are getting to know each other. If a guy really likes you he wants to impress you on those oh so important first days of dating. If a guy has mediocre feelings for you he will want to split the check. You know this is true, if you meet the girl of your dreams and ask her out will you ask her to split the check with you? By the way, its not gold digging, if the guy only takes me for coffee to starbucks and foots the bill i will be more impressed than the guy that takes me to a fancy italian place then asks me to pay half or expects me to tip the waiter because he spent 40 dollars on the meal itself. So for me its important that the man pays in the early stages of dating because I want to know that he is out to impress me because he likes me and when I get married i want a man that enjoys giving to me and this a way of gauging that.

If you say you are independant then be independant even when it comes to courtship and dating, that passive agressive crap doesnt cut it at all!
Exactly, I accept your rant in case of goldddigging women but there are genuine ladies that want a man to be a man and in return they will be a complementry woman for the man. There is a male and female energy in all relationships and for it to work one person has to be the male and he brings status and security to the couple, and the other one is the female so they bring sensuality and sexuality to the relationship and both men and women can play either role. Speaking of roles, I have just finished a book on this (getting to I do) and I feel it explains all these arguments very well so I will take a time out and write a synopsis for KBW

peace out lol

acolyte said...

@ udi
It was a long time in coming!
@ movie buff
I agree with you 200% coz believe it or not I too would not mind being taken care of too!lol
@ kenyangal
In return to what you have said
point 1:If you are meant to be played you will be played whether the man is black white or yellow!
point 2:Grade A money back gauranteed moose piss!!!I pay 200% for the first date only after that once in a while I expect an effort.That is why dating is never a hassle for women like you because the man foots every single bill when he is getting to know you and then you may decide that you are going to LJBF (let's just be friends) him.So there he is after lots of time and money spent trying to impress you with nothing at all to show and lots of bills.While you on the other hand have enjoyed nice dinners,movies and going to new places.So it seems you gauage a man on how much he is willing to spend on you and character comes second.If getting to know you involves all that effort and none on your part then it isnt worth it!Happy prospecting gal!
point 3:Those ladies are a very slim minority.Women want to have it both ways nowadays and that is why most of them end up with nothing and unhappy.
Post what you learned from the book and we'll see what it brings to the table.

Farmgal said...

whatever/whoever brought this rant on?
very valid points ....

Acolyte said...

@ farmgal
I just thot it was about time.I have seen too many men suffering!

Machozi said...

well, well, well...another entertaining post...not too original..had a kinda heard it all before feeling when going through the post but thats probably because things aint gonna change anytime diggers have no problem being gold diggers..tho 76% of chicks I know aint like the chicks u there is still hope babe!

Kenyangal said...

@ Acolyte re point no 2. The man got to enjoy the pleasure of my time and company during the date. If he didnt ask me out i could have been spending that time painting my toe nails or at the gym but as it is he asked me for the date, so why do *I* have to pay for anything yet I did not initiate it?? (yes i did enjoy the dinners and movies e.t.c and I was very grateful to him for the good time and said thank you like my mother taught me lol but the point remains that HE asked me to spend that time with me So HE should pay for it. If i want to do something on the other hand then I don't ask a man to pay for me, I will pay for it myself.)

Re Point 3. Yes gender roles are very mixed up nowadays and thats why many women end up wanting everything but its true you can't have it both ways.

acolyte said...

@ machozi
as the good book says there is nothing new under the sun!Butunless you read this post elsewere there is nothing unoriginal about it!How did you come up with that figure?
@ kenyangal
So basically your company is traded for the date?I guess you only spend time with a man if he is footing the bill?Thanks for clearing that up.So would you go out with a dude who was hard up and asked you to help with the bill?Oh what the heck am I asking?You wouldnt be attracted to him in the first place, sorry.

Kenyangal said...

@Acolyte We are on the date because He asked me because He wanted the pleasure of my company. If he is hard up on money he either picks a date he can afford to pay for or that he doesnt need to pay for (e.g picnics) but he shouldn't ask me out on a date then ask me to "help him out" by paying half... sooooo not on!

AND I am attracted to very masculine men, strong silent types (me Tarzan you jane)and by default they tend not be hard up financialy (they take care of business) because making money is a priority for them. I could be attracted to a broke guy if he was still proud and manly and ready to take charge and for the record no matter how broke they are I find it hard to see such type of a guy asking a lady to foot the bill, they would rather pretend they are too busy to take the lady out or they wouldn't ask her out until they had the finances.

I feel that if a guy asks you to help with the bill he might soon be asking for money for his rent, fuel e.t.c HE might just be a user looking for a mama to pay his bills

Machozi said...

@ kenyangal: hey girl are u okay sweetie, seems like Acolyte really hit a sore spot huh? Somehow I've always felt strange when a guy insists on paying the dinner bill my solution is usually to change the venue for dessert and pay for that… at least that way I dont feel like I owe the guy any other um favours..

@Acolyte: I didn’t mean your post was not original, more like I’ve heard the topics you were ranting on about too many times.... Hee heee the number ….. well 50%= half my friends 75% equals 3/4's of my friends (in some situations means ¾ = majority ) and I threw in one more percent for fun!

acolyte said...

@ Kenyangal
You?Miss High Maintenance on a cheap date?ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!AND I am attracted to very masculine men, strong silent types (me Tarzan you jane)and by default they tend not be hard up financialyso does that mean that hard up men are not masculine?A bad economy affects those with super levels of testosterone too you know besides alot of unmasculine are doing well too you know; wonderfully flawed logic at best.Let's some up your creed - No romance without finance.
@ Machozi
Good for you but let the guy pay once in a while too okay?As for Kenyangal it is time some people faced the truth no matter how harsh it is!As for your statistic I think you need a more random sample!

Irena said...

Haiya Acolyte: "Si the heart eats what it wants" (direct translation ha!ha!) kwani shida ni gani sasa?Those who prefer white men, more power to them, gold diggers more power! those who want to pay or not pay for dates more power, those who have highest standards and they gather dust while doing it,hey they made their bed so they are lying on it... Eiishhh Live and let live.

Mocha! said...

Different strokes for different folks!

At the end of the know who you are and how you work it!

You said it though.....its just a shame, some one is living the 'dream'!

Prousette said...

Raw nerves all over the place.
If I remember very well if you ask me out you pay, as we get to know each other better we can share, I can pay or something like that.
Problem starts when some one plays well out of their league in terms of trying to impress "no let me pay".They start feeling the pinch when the mama says Ok pick the tab from now henceforth.
You cannot accuse her of gold digging, can you?

Then there are real gold diggers who can sum up what you cost in terms of attire from head to toe in a few minutes to see if they have hit the jackpot or not.
Lakini most chics are not like that I have no statistics aco but there are men who set themselves for such ventures. Trust me you can tell if a chic is into you for money or not unless you are blinded by lust which happens most of the time so really you cannot blame her still. Umejiletea huo msiba.

That said both man and women are really petty nowadays in terms of persons they deem fit for partnership. I have heard things like if he wears white shoes I cannot touch him with a 50ft pole even if he was the last man on earth. WTF!!! Kwani you are keeping the shoes company or the person? Ati if he cannot co-ordinate his colors, well kwani ni fashion show?? and so on.
Whatever happened to not judging books by the cover?
It is time everyone, both male and female stopped being shallow and then complaining ati there are no good men/women left. Like you said in an earlier post if you have nothing to offer in terms of qualities how do you expect the same qualities to come your way.

Meanwhile live and let live but with your eyes very wide open.

throwing myself out now just gimme a minute said...

Black, white,green yellow wo/men are the same all over the world. I kid you not. It is how you relate to them that will make a difference in your life.

Going on hearsay will not help and I tell you the amount of stuff being fed to naive girls like black men are serious studs with unbelievable staying power... white men are romantic they will bring you flowers. A man I know asked why he should bring a woman flowers that you cannot even eat si afadhali a bunch of sukuma wiki? Makes perfect sense to me don't you think?

I have to throw myself out now.

Milonare said...


Search for someone that fits your requirements and hope you fit hers. That age old game is called dating...

Let everyone else do their own thing. No matter how much people debate this, things will not change...

Kenyangal said...

@ ACO first high maintenance woman CAN handle cheap dates (we have different definitions of the term)and I should clarify that I've not yet earned the label of high maintenance - I'm still a flybaby in training and last but not least I don't feel any harshness in what your saying because I don't see any truth in it..i will never be convinced that if a man asks me out on a date I need to split the check, and infinitely I will prefer a man that doesn't like splitting things equally with the lady, longterm I will give back to the man by treating him to places, cooking him dinnr sometimes, night things e.t.c Well anyway, since i know what your sneakers look like and hopefully you can spot a "golddigger" when you see one we shouldn't find ourselves facing a bill at the end of a date.
OH! also I'm not attracted to feminine or emasculated men at all no matter how much money they have.

@ Machozi you shouldn't call someone you don't know sweetie as its very condenscending.. unless ofcourse thats what you wanted to be. Anyway, Acolyte didn't hit a sore spot but obviously this is an argument close to my heart.. if there was a class on relationship dynamics I would have majored in it.

acolyte said...

@ irena
I think the heart does not enter the equation at all in this post, it's just sheer greed and avarice disguised as love.If people think white is right even though what the get is the bottom of the barrel jungus then by all means they should go for it!For those who want to make their money by long payments as opposed to selling it on the corner so be it!But I will still talk!
@ mocha!
Yes you said it!
@ prou
I have no problem in paying for a date at all!What I dislike is women who think that it is men's purpose to spend on them all the damn time!Furthermore they will never spend a penny in return and they wonder why they are treated like property.But I agree that people are petty nowadays.And as for those stereotypes eeeishhhh!
@ milo
Thank you for having the same effect as as an extra hole in a net on this discussion, we needed that comment!
@ Kenyangal
let's deal with this fast, I am beginning to tire of your weak protestation.If I or any man offers to take you out then I/he pays ok?But if a man asks you to go dutch will you go?I have my doubts.Do you ever take men out?Other then birthdays and fish falling from the sky I highly doubt it.As for majoring in relationship dynamics I think your track record should reflect your grade.Good luck in searching for your dream man,white wedding and life of leisure.

Kenyangal said...

Yes, I rarely pay for dates because I don't ask men to go out with me but I would agree to go dutch on a date if the guy is of the LJBF persuasion.

Anonymous said...

@ kenyangal
Thank you for proving my case for me!Have a good night!

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
I dont even have to argue as you are proving every single point for me.You make for a great case study as regards all the points I brought up in the post.Now much as I am having fun cyber bitch slapping you I would think that you would be tired by now.

Kenyangal said...

ok...I don't know how I've proved your point but I know I've proved mine which is that men should pay for dates (because in my experience few ladies ask men out romantically)
@ Kenyangal
let's deal with this fast, I am beginning to tire of your weak protestation.If I or any man offers to take you out then I/he pays ok?

If not paying for dates because I don't offer to take men out makes me a golddigger then someone gave me the wrong definition of golddigging...

Girl next door said...

Damn, what a heated topic! I've got to air my views. First of all, Aco, your post is hilarious although I've been offended by some of the sentiments expressed & I penda playing devil's advocate @ times. My definition of a date is spending time together. This covers activities outside the usual dinner and movie routine. The financially challenged should pick activities that don't involve a lot of $$ (hikes, walks, sports). Whoever initiates the date should usually pay most of the bill--of course the other person should offer to leave a tip or buy drinks. Men should be more honest about their life situations: when trying to impress women they flaunt fancy job titles and degrees, the Wall St. company they work for, etc. Many women mistake all these things to mean MONEY! Blame it on the Cinderella fairy tale for the crazy idea of Prince Charming coming to rescue! Stop reading those damn things to kiddos! Let's stick to Kaka sungura and Abu Nwasi.

I have more to say about dating junguz. I'll blog on it.

Minefield, this one said...

Aco - you went and started a mini-fight in your blog - I think you and KG should be put in a container like Vick did in The Shield and whoever comes out alive wins.

For me, I like to be prepared - as in I wouldnt jump on a jet to Miami with Richard Branson without knowing how I am gonna get back, what I am eating, or where I am staying - I have to be able to pay for myself, and by extension the other person - you never know peoples situations anyway and hey, a date doesnt have to involve money...

I would say Girl Next Door above put it best...

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
not paying for the first dates doesnt make you a gold digger but expecting a man to pay for every single date and for your time does(ps:do you charge by the hour or minute?).Expecting a man to pay for your delusions of grandeur does,pegging a man's worth to his greatness makes you a text book example.The world has produced many great men ie Martin Luther King and strong women who stood beside them even though they didnt have much to take them to fancy restaurants and buy them fancy engagement rings.Read this and repeat it IT IS NOT WHAT A MAN DRIVES BUT WHAT DRIVES HIM THAT MATTERS!
@ girl next door
If the dude offers then he pays that's true.But this thing of women not even making token gestures and acting like prima donnas is bull crap!But for those who flash their cash they deserve what they get!As for dating jungus that one I am waiting for coz I love the reality check mamas get when they get here!
@ Guess
I feel your sentiments on dating.As for this being a fight, hell no!This is a beat down!I will stain the blogosphere with her!

Joseph Walking said...

fancy job titles and degrees, the Wall St. company they work for- GIRL NEXT DOOR kwani you jua me lol haha! just playing but your defence is weak over

acolyte said...

@ joe
Seems she has your number!

Kenyangal said...

@ACO here we go again,(rolleyes) expecting a man to pay for every single date and for your time does(constitute golddigging)(ps:do you charge by the hour or minute?). you will find that i already addressed this earlier by saying that longterm I will give back to the man by treating him to places, cooking him dinnr sometimes, night things e.t.c

I don't peg *only* a man's worth to his greatness but in todays world that is one of the inidicators of greatness.. Martin Luther King and Gandhi went down in History but so did J.d Rockerfeller and Bill Gates. anyway, you have a wrong conception of me in that money is not the main thing that attracts me in guys, richness is attractive but what really does it for me is their masculinity, someone that will take charge and will have no problem wearing the pants in the relationship. Anyway guys that get pissed off at women that find rich men attractive are similar to ladies that get pissed off at men that find beautiful women attractive. I mean its evolution a man sees a beautiful woman as someone that is fertile and can reproduce and a woman sees a rich man as someone that can provide for her and her offspring.. But the same way many guys look for other qualities other than beauty (even though thats a bonus) money is also not a necessity for many women, just a welcome bonus.. XOXO I'm out

No more Kenyan Gal comments on this thread! - Acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
To quote one of my idols, "A people should know when they are conquered".Ok what in the world is treating him to places?!And are you a gourmet chef?Coz I dont see how meals and dates at 5 star establishments are equal to your homecooking?What in the blazes are night things?I dont want to come up to my own conclusions?Sounds like the dude is getting the short end of the stick here Miss High Maintenance!
Much as you say it is masculinity that attracts you and not money in yor earlier answer you equated that with the ability to take care of business aka make money.Anyway it's a good thing that you havent strayed from your evolutionary roots and are keeping it real.
This correspondence is over - Editor

Non-Kenyangal-Comment said...

ACO did bitchslapping get a bit too tiring? Awwww :) Well all that typing can't be good for my manicure so I'd better go redo my nails.. Until next time!!

acolyte said...

@ Kenyangal
I know you are a masochist lakini it was getting a bit too much plus the fact that you were shooting yourself in the foot everytime you typed made me feel pity for you coz I doubt you can even walk now!Till the next cyber beat down!

Kenyangal said...

You *know* I'm a masochist? Just the same way you *knew* I only want men for their money... I don't know where you get all these misrepresentations but you really should start checking your sources!

Oh By the way, wake up from your sweet dreams! You'll find that in reality there was no cyber beat down.. it was a heated discussion whereby your sorry ass got tired and ran out of momentum. You need to upgrade to the next version of the acolyte.

Girl next door said...

glad we agree on the issue.

I wasn't tryin' to get personal with you! Had someone else in mind.

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
Seems the fine device called sarcasm and irony are lost on you.I did not say that you want men only for their money; there is the status,luxury and security thing too.After all what is a future woman of leisure without those things.I get all that from the frequent incidents when you digress on your blog.My dear my ass isn't tired I have enough momentum to keep on going and going (it's just that you hardly bring anything new to the table whenever you respond).I took D-shy to 45 comments so this is just a walk in the park, so you need to stop being a wannabe and learn from one who is on the next step of being!Capisce?

Kenyangal said...

I am proud of being a wannabe (a wise man said that nobody got anywhere in this world by simply being content)and you know I CAN be a woman of leisure without having a man the two aren't mutually exclusive. I do want to get married though, i'll just be sure to pick someone that adds and helps my dream not subtracts.

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
Good for you then!And no I do not know that is why you are here to school me in your dogma.Good luck with finding a cog to fit into your machine!

Joseph Walking said...

I wasn't tryin' to get personal with you! Had someone else in mind.

2:55 PM, March 29, 2006

LOL I know coz i dont date ,so it must be someone else .some of us are like isaac waiting rebecca to come on a caravan,no lyrics just faith and prayer .

acolyte said...

@ joe
Ati you dont date!You are a man of great faith!