Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Predators, Fabulous French Fries and Faster

I was watching To Catch A Predator yesterday and some interesting thoughts came to mind. When most people think of child molestors, we often think of some dirty, smelly and shifty homeless person (often of color), but when I watch this show the men who are busted are anything but that. You get all sorts being caught in the dragnet; policemen, military personell, IT professionals, businessmen, rabbis and even teachers.

The sad thing is that since these men go online and solicit minors and even show up for the "dates" means that there is the possibility that some of them have done it before and have gotten away with it. Disgusting isn't it, what's worse is that some of these men even have children of their own. I mean don't these people think? I mean if you have the morals of a rock then they should at least be logical and think what they are putting at stake; career, family, jail time etc?

Then for some reason Kapur and Shah never miss out. Someone once told me that Asians can be morally reprobate and I dismissed him for the post part till I noticed that those peeps never fail to feature among the accused despite the fact they make up a very small minority of the population. In the last episode they busted this dude from Nepal who was a teacher, his excuse? "I was coming to tell her that it was wrong to do this" yes and why did you have condoms in your pocket then? Needless to say after being arrested and tried, his case was handed to INS. Anyway that is a whole bunch of sick and stupid individuals, they do make for fun TV though.

Is there any blogger out there who lives near Mada? If so could you please go to the fries joint that is at the shopping centre and have a pack on me. I was interning today and since I had no lunch those fries came into my mind. I don't know if the joint is still open but that joint had some of the best fries in Nairobi and their bajias weren't bad at all. It took me coming to the States to realise how good we had it in Kenya as regards junk food.

Anyway here is another story about my insane pals in Uni when I was in Kenya. During the gold rush (scramble for freshmen) one of my pals managed to snag a young mama and after some sweet talking, he talked her into giving it up. The dudes room was next to his pals room, who was there with the boys when he was getting it on. So anyway when things were getting hot and heavy it seemed that the dude wasn't moving at her usual pace, so she started shouting, "faster, faster, faster!!!!!" Of course her voice seeped into the next room, and from that day on, behind her back her nick name was faster. Yes, I went to uni with alot of interesting people. Anyway back to my humdrum existance over here and drafting the next installment of the drama post.....


mwangi said...

Whaaat? Gold rush ... now that's funny, i barely missed it, and from the stories i get from pals in campo...i kinda regret...

acolyte said...

@ mwangi
Ati you missed the gold rush?! Where were you? In the lib?

Ichiena said...

Hiyo ya predators - never judge a book by the cover. Hiyo tu. Sometimes I wonder, watching all those shows, whether it will catch up with us back home. I hope not, but these things eventually do.

Last time I went through Mada I felt like I was walking through a completely different part of town. Completely changed.

I remember gold-rush - i was almost a victim. Wah, dudes can be determined in all the wrong things. Dude kept insisting he wanted to marry me ati..hehehe.

Aizoh said...

Even muggers dont look like muggers except maybe in Mathare and D.You should see the con artists in town today.Sharp.Ati "I was coming to tell her it was wrong to do this"?.That cracked me up.Anyway I have a problem with LURING people into commiting crime and then arresting them.

Aizoh said...

Hey, Maada's on my way digz.I'll pass by leo and let u know whether the chipo joint's still there. Plane crew may starve you on ur way back so you may need the info.Tell them to land you at Wilson.So how do you pay for the fries? You sure cant blog the money here..

Acolyte said...

@ ichiena
Catch up with us? You forget that school teachers in Kenya impregnate girls and many child molestors run free due to our legal system; at least here they are trying to do something about it!
As for the gold rush, why didnt you cash in?
@ aizoh
I left those charlatans in Kenya only to hear that they are getting smoother. Well what these people do is to make sure that they dudes are the ones who mention sex so there is entrapment.
Do let me know about the fries! How will I get the fries if you are talking about me paying for them. Ebu sort that out and holla back!

bantutu said...

About Mada: You've got it bro....heheheh!!!Nafika uko maBadae...Lo kumbe!! Uliwanga uko mtaani? nini? TOBOA!!
Ai faster si amenishaga na straw!! Hihihi!! Ni we ulipioneer io jina eh?
I remeba kitambo(Lakini si saana kitu like 6 yrs?) KBC waliwanga na ii comedy ya wa-Gujabati...Kuna uu jammaa aliwanga anadai kila kitu ni Indian...Westminister Palace...Indian!Thanksgiving(Ya U-t'A'to)-Indian! Umenikumbusha ni io risto ya Kapur na Shah..Leta Namba 7 tunangoja...

Girl Next Door said...

It's scary that a lot of pedophiles are trusted members of society, teachers and other professionals who come in close contact with kids. It's a messed up world!

Ati a chic was named 'faster', that's funny =)

egm said...

Sadly this is one thing we haven't been spared at home, these vile predators. As for the issue of luring these people, I honestly have no pity for the men. Some have even admitted to having watched the show, yet they still go ahead and indulge in these activities. Some synapses somewhere in the brains must be misfiring very badly. Kinda like that loud bang from cars that backfire in the middle of the day and you think the army has come into town for target practice.

Faster? Did she ever find out that was her name?

Paula D. said...

Hilarious....faster! faster!

mama shady said...

peadophilia is really sad! we have a lot of wolves in sheeps clothing roaming around.kwanza in kenya, mambo iko mbaya kabisa!as for the never have thought. dont know why. gold rush! you peeps are the culprits who used to confuse young girls...ah,shame!

Movie Buff said...

I havent watched that episode of to catch a predator.... leo jioni I am on it... Long Live DVR!
You are so right about the Asians..... and as long as I have watched the show, I am yet to see a black person.....

LMAO @ faster.......

Don't even talk about chips or bhajias.... *salivating*

dangerously_shy said...

Lol @ faster

Reminds me of a story I read somewhere one night stand tales and there was one about this girl who had a habit of saying to the jamaa ‘Lets do this, let do thissssssssss’ just before she was destroyed (*read had ‘relations’) even worse where some of the random things some girls come up with during or just before e.g. ‘ We better use an condom, I cant have another abortion’ or even worse ‘ Don’t touch me there, it reminds me of my uncle’.

Bwahaha @ gold rush


I miss cadbury’s macadamia chocolate which you can only purchase in Nairobi. I tried making my own version but somehow it didn’t taste the same.


Ps – I have just finished reading the NMGate blog, have you seen it?. Granted its not as funny as the resignation letter (kwanza that part where he asks ‘Did you think that I sit on a stool all day and rotate with the sun?’ mwehe!!) but its still an interesting read.

3N said...

ati gold rush, how much I wish I attended Uni in Kenya.
Anyway I am certain that pedophiles are also in Kenya, it’s only they never get caught or exposed.
As for missing home, as always I will take a cold Pili any time any place.

aegeus said...

ROTFL Faster! Faster! heheeehe. Some like it fast others slow....

Predators, you never know what lies in someones mind. They may project is entirely false and then they go out an commit the most atrocious acts.

Archer said...

That joint is still very much open. We used to eat there daily when I was in a college around there. The chips bhajia combo was the bomb! And with Mama Oti's kiosk down the road where they make a tasty mandazi/samosa combo! I should pass by there one of these fine days.

Ah the gold rush. You should see senior students all excited about new freshers in Feb. We used to syke up for the new Kenyans (coz they're way more cultured than the shady xhosa chics) but I think the fine Kenyans ended with my intake in 2004. Malawian and Zambian mamas are the in thing now.

Acolyte said...

@ bantutu
Ukifika hapo tena have a pack on my tab! Wacha I struggle with part 7!
That really is sad isn't it? Yes that was her nickname.
@ egm
All those men dont think at all! It's that simple, they cant be excused at all.
No lucky for us she didn't!
@ paula d
Sure was funny, thanks for coming through!
@ mama shady
Gold rush, those where the good old days!
@ movie buff
DVR rocks! Indians are freaks, sorry to say so but it is true!
I am still thinking about them now.
@ d shy
That is another thing I should blog about, chics who talk during sex; that is a big no no!
Making chocolate at home must be as hard as heck!
The blog made for good reading and I am going to blog about it soon.
@ 3N
It takes forever for a paedophile in Kenya to face the law sadly.
I'll have a cold tusker on you!
@ aegeus
To each her own, eh? Predators are slick and disgusting; very hard to spot at times.

Acolyte said...

@ archer
Joints in Kenya had the best food, from high to low class; they all rocked!
Kwani what is this thing of Kenyan embassies sending whack Kenyan mamas? Even the ones in my uni were nothing to write home about!

egm said...

@MB, I once saw an episode that had 3 blacks. Two of them music ministers in their church.

Sanaa said...


My glands started aching when u i read mada and fries in the same sentence! I used to loooove those fries! Aki they have to tell us what mafuta they used to fry those fries.

I remember when i used to go to mada, i would risk getting arrested by cops just to go and get fries..lakini that neighbourhood is "suspect" but "homely! i think. Soooo many neighbours and its like they all knew each other. Mada/west is a great place to live if your a budding idler(alchoholic) lol

I haven't been to your blog in a while, i'm glad there was aloooot to read while waiting for my bus..have to rush now.

(nice storos!)

§anaa said...

speaking of fries, those fries can't beat the ones in Magiwa (mama sherry's place) and the bhajias in Magiwa Est. You should do a post on the greatest fries (joints in Nairobi)

Next time your bila lunch at work, drink lots of won't think about food again.

Good day!

Acolyte said...

@ sanaa
I gnashed with hunger that day I tell you! When I go back to Kenya I must make a tour of fries joints and give reviews.
Thanks for the tip!