Monday, February 26, 2007

Monday Musings

Today is one of them lazy Mondays. My cold is almost gone, I think going out into the open air is what helped it out. You see the thing is that I have a strong immune system so when I get a cold it puts me out for the count, the funny thing is that I either got it from my niece or passed it to her; so we were both out of commission for most of last week.

Moving on from my health issues. I am sure some bloggers who are down South have always wondered why they never see Aco at bashes and the readers must wonder why they don't read posts by Aco about the beer fuelled chaos that are known as Kenyan parties and other clubbing experiences. Answer is that other then my apathy towards most Kenyan bashes is that I tend to be a very picky drinky. I only drink on specific days (Fri - Sun afternoons, public holidays, vacations and the odd celebration). I am not one of those dudes who drink to celebrate the sun rising. I also tend to be very picky about where I drink, this isn't to say that I have airs (I'm sure we all remember my post of the burning table at the local). I can only drink in a place where I feel comfortable and safe. I remember one day there was a raid at the Kenya National Theatre pub by Nairobi City Council. Everyone, staff and customers were put in a lorry and carted off. It seems the place didnt have an operating license, so going out for a beer and spending the weekend (if you are busted on a Friday) in jail and having to bribe or pay a fine isn't what I envision when I go out for a beer. And when I am in locals I tend to eschew the use of glasses, this is after seeing a particularly inebriated man vomiting into a glass after being overcome by the brew, and we all know that in many locals their idea of cleaning is swirling water in every glass sans soap; so I am not taking any risks. Of course the joint of choice also has to have nice ambience and a nice mature crowd. I do prefer drinking with my friends and other people who must be able to carry a conversation, I do tend to be paranoid about overly friendly strangers esp women since I could find myself in a scenario like this. Those few things aside, I pretty much drink anywhere and with anyone!

Speaking about bars, let me tell ya'll an interesting story. When I was in Uni in Kenya we had this pal called Mjaka and no he was not a jeng. The origin of that nickname is very interesting, you see we went to the coast for some Mombasa raha and in one of the night clubs a lady of easy virtue took a liking to him and at the end of the night they left together. The next night, we went to another club and we ran into his new friend and he was looking for him, she saw us and started chatting to us. After the usual niceties this is when the convo got interesting,

Girl: Yule beshte wenu, yeye ni mjaka?
Pal #3: Ziii, kwa nini?
Girl: Jana vile alinipeleka kwa bedroom, nilidhani yeye ni mjaka

After hearing that, when we caught up with him; we began to call him Mjaka and the name stuck. For a brief period we did begin calling him Jackass but that is a story for another day.
ps: Due to my fear of finding myself in bed with a girl with hoooves or stretching arms, there is no fraternising with the local women for me during a trip to the Coast.
pps: I do know there is some dude out there who has been pirating content from various Kenyan blogs. Even if you delete your blog, Google never forgets. I am working on a post for you D.M...

14 comments:

egm said...

Good for you the cold is almost gone.

In my quest to expand my knowledge I ask, Mjaka ndiyo nini?

egm said...

Ha, that Standard article, don't these folks edit them? The second last line reads, "These new tricks by women call for a high level of discipline for those going out to have fan.

I heard of this guy who fikad Choices one time and was slipped one of these things into his drink. The guy got into his car and drove off before the drug kicked into effect. When it did, he totalled his car, but miraculously managed to walk away from the wreck. Even the cops that came were surprised anyone came out of that accident alive, let alone walking.

acolyte said...

@ EGM
A mjaka is one of our brothers from the lake side aka a jaluo like our pal in the Drama Post Oduori.
Yes Standard does have loads of typos, I have noticed that before. It is coz of incidents like that your pal went through that make me not drink with strangers.

3N said...

aco, I see you are still in the process of convincing yourself not to indulge while on your trip to costo...we will see how that pans out.
I did think of giving beer for lent but then I thought all the lonely bottles of Amstelizis that will not have anyone claim them, it would be too sad therefore I am still on STRONG.
btw I hope there is no one who drinks with strangers, thats too big of a risk to take.

Movie Buff said...

hehehehehe Im still cracking up over "A woman of easy virtue"

mwangi said...

Personally, i think after 5 drinks (depending on concentration), terminologies like strangers cease to have meaning, kila mtu ni amigo ... but i feel you on those coast hooves, manze naweza CHOMOKA ... I always wonder whether guys overrate those storos coz walahi if it's true ... afterlife might be crazy ...

aegeus said...

And here i had a story of a coast chick i met. heehehe Imported her to Nai to determine "authenticity" Have i said too much?

mama shady said...

ah, glasses in public places!a definite no no! afadhali here they try and sanitize them with hot maji...at home...it must be another story. yay!the cold is dying! glad to say im recovering faster than the one who gave it to me, talk about strong immune systems..keep eating them fruits!

Aizoh said...

Enyewe that "mchele" issue has not been exaggerated there.It's a common sight nowadays to see guys clutching onto their drinks (besides other items-we'll need more hands now)at urinals.Yes, it's that bad.I agree with you about being choosy on drinking holes. Lol at Jackass.

acolyte said...

@ movie buff
I dont use harsh language to talk about women
@ mwangi
I think it depends on where you are drinking, if I am not comfy there I wont even get to 5 drinks.Coasto is dangerous!
@ aegeus
Well as long as it is for the sake of science you are excuses!
@ mama shady
Good to hear that we are both back on the health train!
@ aizoh
When I heard about that mambo of mchele I began watching my drinks like a hawk!

mimi tu said...

Hehe im am the exact opposite but i am very very clever...i roll in fours and since im the worst drunkard in my crew i get the rest of the girls to take care of me...Kenyans are intimidated by jungus so i always get home safe lol;)

Girl next door said...

So even guys have to be careful with their drinks these days.... Word of caution about Kenyan bashes--some of the pictures that are posted online serve as cautionary tales.

Unyc said...

gOnce went clubbin with a white guy at a popular joint n chics were just eyeing us...ok the dude. They were probably lynching n butchering me in their thots. After several glasses of wine decided 2 go to the ladies...just when i stood up, 2 bouncers were on my side. They dint utter a word. I walked 2 the ladies n they followed. When i went in a lady bouncer came in with me n waited till i finished. So i decided 2 ask wsup...she told me it ws 4 my own gd. Anythin cld happen 2 me since they noticed how the ladies were envious. If they got a chance they'd spike my drink or spray me with sme stuff...i ws scared. I went back 2 our table, bouncers still behind n told the dude we hv 2 leave.
This ws one of the F's...lol
It cld happen 2 any1 not just the jamaas.

Acolyte said...

@ mimi tu
It is good to have back up and some jungus to keep Kenyan fisis at bay!
@ GND
Things are narrow, as for Kenyan bashes; I dont even go for them!
@ UNYC
You dont play with those gals at the F joints they can kata kata you if they think you are keeping them from their revenue! But I am surprised the bouncers and management took care of ya'll.