Friday, June 01, 2007

Masochism, Messages And Other Things

Time and again I have spoken about womens' appetite for suffering and in true Aco fashion I can't resist the chance to share a story. There is this Kenyan chic I met sometime when I got here, a very nice chic but she always looks a bit tired. It is when I got to talk to my close pal who is her bosom buddy that I got to know why she looks a bit worn most of the time and drinks like a fish during Kenyan functions/bashes. You see this girl has been dating a dude for 5 years and this dude treats her like crap. I was once at their house and I recall him talking to her like a 5 year old at different occasions with some flippant remarks thrown in. I was told that things get worse, there was one day when she came home from work to find him seated with another Kenyan chic on the couch looking very cozy. She asked what the girl was doing there and demanded that she leave, this new girl in turn got up and began hurling at her the same kind of insults her boyfriend used to; meaning that the boyfriend had been sharing the dirt. On a side note this new chic had been in the country for less than 3 months, talk about coming in with a bang. The case ended when she called the cops and the chic was asked to leave since she wasn't on any lease or documentation showing she had the right to be in the house.
Anyway several months back this dude was laid off from his job and since he is picky has not yet gotten a new job. In the meanwhile for all these months and even earlier this chic has been working two jobs to pay the mortgage. To make things worse, this dude has American citizenship and despite being together for all those years he told the chic that he wouldn't file for her to get residency. So this means that she is stuck doing entry level jobs where they don't check on your immigration status. I do understand that he may not be in a rush to get married but I do think he can file a prenup and do it for her seeing that they have been together for 5 years plus. But despite all this drama, she is still with him. Why she is putting up with all that? I don't know, I'll watch from the sidelines and keep you all updated.

Message of the day from this video. Don't smoke weed before your interviews! But I don't think it would have made a difference in T-pain's case this dude is waaaaaaaaaaaay off the edge.

In other news, I had a disturbing flashback. Do you all remember a show called Life Goes On? Remember one of the main characters Corky Thatcher, the boy who had Down's syndrome? Well since everyone used to watch the show in my school, people were familiar with his clumsiness and lower than average IQ that came from having Down's syndrome. Anyway whenever someone would do something stupid or clumsy they would be baptised "Corky" by the rest of the class till the class forgot or someone else did something just as clumsy or stupid. And people say kids are innocent.

Oh well, have a nice weekend everybody!


Anonymous said...

In your face pple! am #1

On a serious note though. I think once someone is used to a situation it gets hard to leave. Unless they have a very good support system and people who are none judge mental to help them out.

One day hopefully she will see the light with the help of a good friend.

Half 'n' half said...

Yeah! 2nd AGAIN!
Sometimes (and am not hating here) chicks deserve what they get! we teach people how to treat us! if you show someone that they can treat you like crap, then thats what they will do!
Girl needs to move on!
And women LOVE doing each other in! why would you sit all cozy with someother chicks dude! Arrrgh relationships! (GAG)

Chatterly said...

That chick needs to sort herself does she just swallow all the crap that dude dishes out? Kwani she feels like a garbage tin to allow such? the things some people will put up with, i can only shake my head :-(

Iwaya said...

where in heaven's name do you get these stories and doesn't it get depressing for you after a while to keep running into more?

Movie Buff said...

Im telling you...those stories are a dime a dozen. So many mamas have dug holes and for some reason, they cant seem to get out of them.

There is only so much you can do sometimes to help these people coz its like they dont want to help themselves..... smh... its a damn shame!

T-Pain is beyond help.

3N said...

sometimes I wonder if chilez find joy in else do you explain such a case and many more that I have heard of?

Initially you should blame a guy for treating you like shit, lakini after the 3rd month and upto 5 years; you have yourself to blame.

Majonzi said...

That's a rather sad story/ He must have some hold on her... .

Three types of Crazy said...

People will only treat you the way you LET them.She haslet him treat her like so. Not that she is entirely at fault, lakini if she is in this mess, kwani who is holding her legs.Maybe it is the immigration thing that keeps her where she is. Maybe he uses it as a hold on her. "You leave and I spill the beans". Hard to tell without listening to both sides of their story.

However if her name is not on the mortgage sii she stops paying it and watch the jamma find ANY job quick. Since when did beggars become choosers?

As for home wrecker "johnnie just come"- why do women think that a man who is cheating with You on his girlfriend will be faithful to you?Do unto others and all that.

I used to like watching "life goes on".

Acolyte said...

@ Anon
Congrats! There are some people who have good support but still stay!
I think if it has been 5 years and she is still there, she is going to be there for a long long time.
@ half n half
I honestly dont think anyone deserves to suffer but if you remain in the situation you are in that is another story all together.
I do agree that some women have no shame in their game whatsoever!
@ chatterly
I too wonder why some women let me run over them like that, I really do.
@ iwaya
Let's just say I keep my ears very very open! Cynics dont get depressed at all!
@ movie buff
One day I am going to collect these stories and write a book!
@ 3N
I wonder the same thing esp since good guys always finish last with chics.
The longer you stay the less culpable you become.
@ majonzi
I think she is the one holding onto him for real.
@ three types of crazy
I do agree that if she wanted to she could most probably leave but she must have her own reasons for staying. I dont think he is black mailing her, she is the one who has just chosen not to leave.
I guess she is too afraid to take that risk of losing the house they live in.
As for the other mama, "what goes around comes back around..."

Gay Nairobi Man said...

Since that chick is not being forced to stay, she must enjoy the abuse and deserve what she is getting.

I remember 'Life goes on' especially the obladi oblada song..

As for T-Pain..with a song like 'buy you a drank'...that just captures it

hwambuig said...

yes we do love pain! all sorts of pain. and yoru blogs rock!

Archer said...

As a couple of others have said, if you let someone treat you like crap and also allow them to walk over you, best believe that they will! So it's her fault for allowing herself to be treated like that. Obviously she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, coz maybe she has her reasons for staying in that relationship i.e maybe the dude is dangling the carrot of getting her permanent residency, so she's stuck with him. I hope she erevukas some time soon before she ends up with three of his kids and is stuck with him permanently.

On the other hand, I've seen a few of these situations before where a chic is stuck in an (emotionally) abusive relationship, where she has nothing tying her down to her man. Despite being given advice to leave, she doesn't. Probably she doesn't know anything better exists in terms of a relationship i.e if all she's known is abuse, she doesn't know how it feels like to be with a good man so she's like "whatever." i hope I've made some sense? Anyway such people are best left to see the light by themselves.

Jo said...

Dude,we must be thinking in the same wavelength coz for the past week I have just been thinking about that proggi...'Life Goes On' and somehow I couldn't shake off its theme song... Obladi, Oblada by the Beatles...nway wierd that you posted about it!Sikujua u were telepathic like that ;)

R said...

Ok so I'm going to swing this in a different direction ... just ...

Yes, it's unfortunate the kind of treatment some women tolerate.

I'll have to say though, I know plenty of men who allow themselves to be treated just as shabbily by their employers and they just sit there and take it.

Same crap different clothes, no?

Dorothy said...

there is no way, someone will respect you if you don't respect yourself.

it all starts with oneself.

stories like this are a dime a dozen but they still sadden me.