Music, Music And Other Things

There is this dude or I would like to think he is one and not a woman with a deep voice who lives in a block of houses that is separated from the complex that I live in by a fence. But even so I can still here the music that he plays. This dude has some of the best soul I have ever heard, the kind of songs that were always in the back of your head but come screaming back to the present when you hear them. Anyway today when I was coming from a long day at the grindstone when I was met by the sounds of classic 80s soul drifting towards the door and to make things worse it was accompanied by the tempting aroma of a meat roasting. If it wasn't for the fact that you don't know who owns guns to protect their houses I may have jumped over the fence, introduced myself and joined the party. Makes me realise how much I miss home where nyama choma used to abound, unlike meat here which is packed full of steroids and drained of all flavour by the time it gets to you.

I was just going through some of the music that I "collect" online and I came across this jewel. For those of you who read my last post and M's last offering, you know how we feel about alot of contemporary music. Anyway can you tell me what rap song that tune was sampled in and better yet can you tell me where the tune was originally featured! Let's get to know the real I love the 80s/90s peeps in the house!

I also listened to a classic rap song recently and when I watched the video, tears began to roll down my face, when I began to think of what we have to listen to, I began to bawl like a baby. Anyway that is why CD sales have gone down 20% but anyway like the an apocalyptic prophet I will get lost in my own dream world before I come back screaming, "the end is nigh!"

Onto non musical matters, while trolling this site seeing if some lass had decided to defame me (sadly when they can't have me they want to destroy me), I came up with this theory. A man's skill in the bedroom and physical endowment is directly proportional to how good he is as a boyfriend. When a man is the lover dreams are made of his skill and endowment in the bedroom rise to epic proportions but when he falls out of favour he instantly becomes a one minute, two inch man. Lesson learned, in relationships reality is nothing but perception is everything.

Is this how little we value our children? How can this group of women get only 2 years in jail for kidnapping a child? Try kidnapping a child here or in a European country and you will spend the better part of 20 years behind bars if not longer. Plus the Ugandan lady who claimed to have been pregnant for 16 months added some gloss to my day, what was she carrying in her womb? A baby elephant?

In My Day.......................

I was thinking back about some of the posts I have written and I think that some of my readers must think I'm some sort of curmudgeon of sorts. You know the kind of geezer who sits on his porch, shakes his stick at the young lads and every statement he makes begins with; " In my day........"

This is because most of the following themes that reoccur in my posts on a regular basis while.

1. Contemporary Music Is Crap - I have expressed this sentiment so many times that most people must think that I sit at home listening to my Sanyo casette player listening to music that was released before Kenyans even knew what a cd player was while high speed dubbing a tape for the cute girl next door.

2. Relationships Of This Generation Are Crap - Don't get me wrong our parents generation didn't have a walk in the park but the reason many of them are hitting the 20 year mark and longer is that they knew it wasn't easy and even if they didn't society made them stick together so they made it work. While on the other hand look at us? At the first sign of trouble, people get with the stepping; divorce papers and all. When my folks hooked up, my mum used to walk to town on most days to work since they weren't doing all that well while my dad went to law school as they lived in their one room digs, needless to say with her support he eventually came to the good. Those stories are few and far in between nowadays everyone wants to hook up with the complete article be it male or female, no time to wait for potential. What about courting? People just don't take the time to woo and be wooed anymore, gone are the days of yore when letters were exchanged alongside eagerly awaited moments spent together; try that nowadays and the person you are wooing will have someone on the side as they wait for you that is if they don't lose interest first.

3. People Can't Parent To Save Their Lives - Once again I will issue my disclaimer, parenthood isn't a walk in the park but even so, it is no excuse for the mess parents of our generation have created. I look at the way children act nowadays and I want to find their mothers and fathers and slap them silly. Nowadays too many parents are trying to be their kids' friends instead of parents, remember the good old days when we all had a healthy fear of our parents? Nowadays most kids don't respect let alone fear their parents. It's all this new age touchy feely stuff I tell you!

4. They Just Don't Make Friends Like They Used To - Many of the people of my parent's generation have pal's whom they go back 10 - 20 years back with. I have two and I know some people have more but it is so hard to make good reliable friends nowadays. I guess it has something do with the age of individualism we are living in.

5. People Just Don't Have The Values They Used To - Does anyone remember how a long time back you could leave the doors to your house open during the day? How you could let your kids / small brothers and sisters play with any of the kids outside without getting scared of something happening? How if you lost something if someone found it they would actually try and find you? Well that was then and this is now. You can't just trust anyone nowadays!

6. They Just Don't Make Stuff Like They Used To - When Supa Orange Snack disappeared off the shelves I knew we were in trouble. Yes I'm talking about junk food. When the Cadbury's factory in Kenya was closed or productions scaled down ( I know it was one of the two), they began importing our regular brands from Egypt and I cried myself to sleep after I took a bite of

7. When Did We Let Such Things Seem Ordinary - This one is related to point number 5 as it is about values. But remember when people had "morals" please note the brackets because I know people still used to do nasty stuff way back when but at least they used to keep it under wraps. Read M's latest post about how people air their dirty linen in public and you will know what I'm talking about. Also I did find it shocking that before I left Kenya the fact that so many of the night spots used to have hos in them, I remember a time to hook up with a ho; you either went to some dingy pubs or F1/F2. But now go to Choices, Pavements, Carnivore and wherever else you'll find them. The fact that there all over means that people don't mind picking them up in the open irregardless what people think. Or if you don't get out at night, have you seen how people dress nowadays? I remember way back when wearing a mini anywhere outside an evening function or the privacy of your own home was blasphemous but in Kenya I used to see so many girls dressing like they are on the way to the club, and this was 8 am. Don't get me wrong guys are far from perfect, nowadays too many young dudes wear rap couture (jeans big enough to house a family of midgets) instead of trying to cultivate their own personal style.
Frankly I have no problem with freedom and all the good that it brings but I do think that at times we take it waaaaaaaaaaay too far!

8. Money Doesn't Go As Far As It Used To - Kenyan money is hardly worth the money it is printed on anymore. Remember the days when 100/= was alot of money? The days when fries cost 5/= a pack? Despite all the advances Kenya has made economically, the Kenyan shilling just isn't as strong as it used to be in terms of inflation. Yes I know some Narcolyte will come out of the woodwork yodelling about how the goverment has made the economy grow by 5% every year and such but it still doesn't explain why more and more everyday items are out of reach for ordinary Kenyans. Anyway that's my opinion, I'm not going to budge or discuss economics.

Anyway I feel I've said enough. I'll be honest and say that there are alot of good things that have happened over the past few years ie internet access, political freedom, increased capitalist influence in Kenyan business. But for every one thing we gain we seem to lose another. So I'm not grouchy about what we've gained but I'm grouchy about what we've lost and are losing. Let's appreciate the good times while they last, I'm off to nap now..........

I have been meaning to share this weeks and I think this is a great way to end the week!



You've got to love the satirical nature of the video, so much so for the fact that Alanis has no lady lumps forever. Sad thing is that listening to those lyrics makes you notice how crappy music has become nowadays, I guess that is why since I stepped of the plane I have never bought even one cd released in the new millennium despite being inundated by offers from Columbia House and all the other CD warehouse clubs. Anyway the world is going to hell in a hand basket and in typical Acolyte fashion I will be taking a nap as that happens.

Before I leave I have to ask a question, why do many Kenyan entrepreneurs/ establishments take any form of criticism as a personal attack? Furthermore why do so many businesses have the attitude of "if you don't like it, you can take your business elsewhere!" I don't know if that has changed though from when I was last in Kenya. But this came to me when I was at Kenyaimagine and pointed out various shortcomings in a publication by the entrepreneur who was being feted by the writer doing his profile. And unlike what most of you think, the observations and criticisms that I made were all directed at making the paper give more bang for the buck (okay the paper is free but you know what I'm saying). But in typical Kenyan fashion one person more or less said, if you don't like the paper don't read it! Another good example is Kenyan music, whenever someone becomes too critical of Kenya music they are called a hater even if they do have credible points. When it comes to Kenyan music I do agree that Rome wasn't built in a day but we on the other hand have given Kenyan musicians too much leeway to become complascent. Anyone who has been to a Kenyan concert out here can tell you, case in point Kleptomaniax last outing. There are Kenyans musicians who give great live shows ie Abbi, Kayamba Afrika etc. I am sure they got alot of criticism when they started out and used it to become better artistes and performers. Remember not all criticism is aimed to destroy, some of it is actually meant to build!

PS: Can someone out there please post the P.O box and telephone number of Co-op bank University Way branch for me in the comments? I have a bank account to ressurect and yes, I was one of those dudes you saw in the winding line waiting to use the ATM. Thanks!
Nice weekend people!

Quote of the Day
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
Sharon Stone

There's Only One Day Left!

This video actually got some mention on one of my favourite TV shows, The Soup. I watched the whole video today and I actually empathized with the shame the ottoman felt after these boys humped the living daylights out of it. Damn! At least when I had dogs they all wouldn't hump the same visitor's leg!

Is it me or has any of you noticed that sleep becomes sweeter when you actually have something to do? When I was just bumming earlier this year, I would go days with minimal sleep but now that I am out and about I find myself every morning wishing that I had just one extra hour to sleep. But I am sure I have blogged about my love affair with naps and longer sleep periods, if there was a job where people were payed to take naps I wouldn't waste a minute thinking it over.

When it comes to relationships, you all know that I have the finesse of a bull in a china shop so I need the advice of smarter people out there. I was talking with this gal pal of mine and I believe that when it comes to a relationship, their should be your time, my time and our time. This means that other than work you should have some time on your own where you pretty much handle your own business and hang out with your own pals as do I and then we have our time, time that is for us and us alone. But on the other hand my pal said that with her old boyfriend (whom she never shuts up about) they used to do everything together and that is how it should be. I do know that every relationship has it's own dynamic but even so, if I was with my chic every other minute I would get tired of her real soon, real fast! Anyway I guess that is why I prefer remaining single.

In soccer news AC Milan won the Champion's League over my beloved Liverpool. The match wasn't on tv so I will have to wait till the weekend to watch it but I give full marks to AC Milan, they are a good side and deserved the win.

In parting, I read about how Mungiki adherents have been beheading matatu touts. Frankly I am disgusted at how brazen the Mungiki are becoming with their actions and how the government seems to be doing as little as possible to stem the growth of this organisation. It is only a matter of time before the Police even stop going through the motions. I don't blame the Police because even though they do have some bad apples within, those who are willing to do the job are usually under paid and under equipped; while on the other hand the Mungiki wield automatic weapons and seem to have an endless money pit to bail out their cronies. The thought of going to sleep and waking up sans head does not sit very well with me. I guess this is the moment that I am supposed to shrug and say, " ni hivyo tu"

More Monday Moaning

This story in the NY Times made me aware about how credit seems so appealing only to come back and bite you in the ass! This happens to many Kenyans too who come here and aren't educated about the dangers behind the slick slogans behind the credit cards. The pre-approved offers turn up in the mail and against their better interest the card is obtained, one charge here another charge their, the grace period with 0% interest ends, hefty interest rates kick in and they become slaves to their debts. Before you get a credit card of any kind, I advise people to read the small print and go to the net if you don't understand any of the terms; better safe than sorry! I guess nothing in the world is free anymore.

I heard a very disturbing story the other day. My sister was telling me about this West African friend she has who has been having some problems with his father back home. You see his father had been married to their mum for many years and then all of a sudden he decided that he would get a second younger wife and relegate his first wife to the periphery. Their dad was in his 50s when he decided to do this, I guess mid-life crisis or something was kicking in or something. So when he got this new wife, it seemed that my sis' pal and his brothers new that she wasn't exactly top drawer material and tried to tell his father not to marry her but you know how parents are, he was hearing nothing of it and went ahead and married her. So the second wife goes ahead and pops out 6 kids in quick succession, yes 6! I asked if the two of them have never heard of birth control and it seems not to be a priority for the dad or his new wife. What makes things worse is that the new wife sends the children to the first wife to take care of and continues to live her life. The sons heard of that and were planning on sending their mum money so as to move out of that situation but the new wife fell very ill after her latest pregnancy so she is stuck taking care of the kids while their dad for some reason or other left home and went to live in another town. Word came back to them that their dad was looking really run down and haggard in this new town he was living in, but before word had gotten to them; their father had been demanding not asking that they send him money. You see every month they used to send him a few hundred dollars (which is alot of money in Africa) but now his demands have escalated to $1,000/= on a monthly basis. That is alot of money even here but since they don't want their family name to be tarnished they are scrimping and saving to send him the money. I heard this story and I was happy that my family is as simple as it is. But once again I have to say this, when people in Africa send those e-mails and go to Moneygram to collect their cash they should know that money out here doesn't come easy at all! My college room-mate once told me how a pal from back home once had the audacity to send him his bank account number and routing number asking for my ex roomie to send him money since it was some holiday of sorts, needless to say my ex-roomie deleted his contacts and blocked him on e-mail very very fast.

I was reading this story and I am not surprised at how stupid some people can get. How do you expect to send drugs via DHL and not get busted. Anyway the less said about that, the better.
The human condition is indeed baffling to say the least...........
ps: For some reason or other I didn't allow comments on this article, must be the Monday Morning Malaise striking full force!