Guess Who's Back????

Damn it's been a while since I've been here! But ya'll know often blogging is like Hotel California.....you can check out, but you can never leave. That and the fact that I've been called out my absence!

So the WC is over, life back to normal till of course EPL and the other leagues get started. My main gripe with most American sports is that the game never flows, there is always a time out, end of quarter or a commercial break waiting in the wings to break up the flow. Anyway as this whole LeBron saga has shown, it's all about the $$$.

Onto other things, what in the world happened to the Joseph Hellon dude and Esther Arunga? Weren't they supposed to be on Larry King or something of the sort? I must say I miss the sheer entertainment that they had given us, over the months.

Also seems that there is a shifty online university from California going around "selling" honorary doctorate degrees to African leaders and politicians. To think I wasted my time going to classes and actually getting a job, I should have just started my own online college and flown from country to country selling degrees. I might just do that and call my university, Universal College; oh wait, that name's taken right?

Does anyone know what happened to itsneverthatserious.com? That was one of the most interesting Kenyan showbiz gossip blogs I had come across in a long time. If you know of any that are just as good and just dont kiss stars asses then by all means do share!

One of my chic pals is getting married so I have been drafted into a wedding committee. Yes, Acolyte himself is on a wedding committee, talk about irony! Well since my pal is somewhat scandalous her committee is like 95% men, that may change when the stragglers join us but I somewhat doubt it. I know some women find their fellow gender hard to get along with but when 90% of your pals are dudes, I think you can only blame other women so far.

Anyway time for me to get back on the grind......

Behold! Friday!

Damn it's been over a month since I have posted anything, I need to deal with that stat! Anyway as I get my mind pumping, I just thought I would share this video...

Sad as it is, I find that video hilarious since it casts satire on peoples' fear of black males. It also reminds me that my lazy ass hasn't been in the gym for a while!

So tomorrow is the last day of the week, wonderful since for 2 days I won't have to deal with the idiots I work with. I tell you if it weren't for the fact that I would go to jail and end up with a criminal record, I would give someone a throat chop. Oh and to my CEO for the last effing time! Control + V to paste since you seem to have trouble doing it with the mouse!

In other news, as of the 1st of June I begin my 6 month period of total celibacy. Sex lately isn't doing anything for me, waste of time and energy (and if you say I'm not doing it right, I'm going to kick you in the face). As people in the streets say "Imma do me" no pun intended. Of course this may put a crimp in dating since sooner or later the sex question comes up, so I won't bother with dating too. No strokes = no drama, that's what I think.

Anyway time for me to get some zzzzzzs in since I have to be at work in a few hours time.

Reason 242 dating American chics sucks - Claim to want to sample new ethnic meals then when you take them to an ethnic restaurant restaurant ie Ethiopian, they pic the item on the menu that is closest to American food ie Pasta or a sandwhich instead of of an ethnic item ie injeera. 2 thumbs down!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn Time Flies and Other Stories......

It has been almost one whole month since I blogged and in the words of the apple of Archer's eye, "this is a fucking disgrace!"

I can only blame laziness, work and twitter.

My birthday passed around 5 days ago, I was at a conference for work out of town so it was a day like any other. To be honest people around me seem to gather more joy from my birthday than I do, for me it's a good day for introspection and looking forward.

I read a report that came up with the statistic that 25% of men fake orgasms. I don't know the veracity of that number but it's an interesting double standard that men are expected to be up for sex and enjoy it at all times while on the other hand it's fine for women not to be up for sex at all times and if they don't enjoy it there are myriad reasons ranging from health,mental or their present relationship. I guess it's part of the over sexualization of society. But to be honest sex can become a chore leading to faking on both sides just to keep things smooth, so its up to both parties in the relationship to keep things fresh. I guess that's why I have mad respect for married people who can't keep their hands off each other. Anyway marriage is a beast of it's own.

I was listening to the radio this morning, and my favourite segment came on; it's the "help me solve my problems" segement. People write letters about their problems and send them in to get advice. So this dude calls in and says how he and his girlfriend have 3 kids, 1 each from past relationships and they had a kid in the last year. The dude is in school fulltime as he can't get work with the economy and the chic works part time. Regardless of their financial situation, the chic is going on about how she wants another baby, even though they have their hands full and cannot afford another one. Also due to their financial situation they can't afford the birth control injection, whatever you call it. Well dudes issue aside (I would go celibate in a heartbeat!), it's funny how the biological clock can kill all logic. I mean, you have your hands full, hardly any income and you still want a child?! WTF?! Children are work, cuteness doesn't pay for childcare,healthcare, food and clothing! If I had a chic and she started going on like that, I would suddenly develop "depression" and be unable to have sex for a very long time; I mean better to take no risks here, condoms have been known to be punctured sigh.

Anyway kids and marriage aside, I see the ash cloud that had Europe at a standstill seems to have lifted. I guess now people are aware of how much they depend on the flying to get around. At least in Europe they had the trains, bullet trains and ferries. Were the same to happen here, I can see total grid lock and chaos on the highways since the interstate train system here doesn't service all states equally and is a shell. Don't let me get started on local mass transit here, not only is it one hot mess, in many cities down here it is on the verge of shutting down due to budgetary constraints and the recession.

Anyway it's about time to get back on the grind and deal with people who have little if any comprehension skills, yes the kind of people you send an email and they call you the next day asking questions that were answered in that very same e-mail! That's why I hardly ever answer my phone or check voicemails at work, lazy bastards!


ps: there is a chic here in the office who has rolls on her back and is wearing a tight top, urgh! Someone needs to have 360 mirrors in their closet!

pps: I need True Blood and Dexter to come back on air asap! Life is not worth living without them.

Another Monday Is Here II.....

Thanks to work and twitter, I have been awol on my own blog (frowning face). But I'm sure you all know that you can't keep a good man down.

With that being said, last week or so one of the airlines out here proudly announced that in a bid to give better service that they are going to start charging for meals in economy class. Anyone who has the agony of flying local in the States will tell you how dealing with the airlines is like dealing with a bunch of schysters. You get charged for your luggage, you get charged to change your ticket if anything happens, you get charged for blankets, you get charged for earphones; with some of them you even get charged for using your credit card to pay for stuff. I guess the only "free" thing you get is your seat. Lets not forget that you have to be at the airport around 2 hours early for security check. I won't even start about people being held hostage in planes on the runway. Yes that is the fun of flying in the new decade of the new millennium.

Anyway that anti-capitalism rant aside, I read this story and just gave myself a face palm! Really! I mean you break down not one but two doors just to get into someone else's bed?! Also I think once you are over 30 (and Im being generous), you have no business going for a Jay-Z concert unless you are taking your nephew or niece, heck even Jay Z himself has no business performing nowadays to be honest!

Does anyone know where these Finger of God characters are? My last week moved by really slowly without their drama. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms! Now I know how women feel when they miss their Mexican soap operas.

Well it's about time for me to clock off from jobo but I wanted to share this video by Nneka, whose music I started listening to. I think it's more than possible to make music with deep lyrics yet listenable to at the same time...




Have a nice day all!

Sex, Suing, Slashing, Shooting and Shows....

As always I have to share good things I find online. This ad here is a PSA about safe sex. It's a bit hard to find the message when you have to sift through all that trash the dudes are saying (yes ladies some of your boyfriends sound like this in your absence).



I think the ad below is a far better one.



That reminds me, there is nothing that is more of a libido killer for me than the sound of a crying child. Maybe I could get a tape of a crying child and use it to condition myself to stay celibate the same way Pavlov conditioned his dogs.

Speaking of children I see in the Kenyan papers, our friend Esther is going to sue her parents and the therapist they took her to for 300 million shillings, I understand her motivation but please pick an earthly number so as not to waste the court's time. Also even if you were wronged, whatever happened to honoring your mother and father? Anyway I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show.

I watched Ninja Assassin and I must admit that it has been sometime since I have watched a movie that was that wonderfully mindless. The plot was watchable but the choreography and gore was indeed a work of art. I highly recommend it as a lazy Saturday afternoon movie, yes I can never claim to be Ebert but I stand by my review!

That reminds me, speaking of marriage; this story has to take the cake. Not only did this woman murder her husband (20 years her junior) after 5 days of marriage, she is a lobbyist for a group that fights domestic violence! Talk about doing a full 180 degree turn. It's like being a policeman during the day and then one night you decide to turn bank robber, oh wait that sounds familiar; I just can't place it. Irony is that when it comes to guns, you are more likely to be shot by someone you know than someone you don't know.

A close friend of mine calls me a lover of all things British since I often voice my boredom regarding American things to her. One of the things that bores me about American tv is the hunger for ratings above all else. I have seen promising programmes be cancelled because they did not gather enough ratings in enough time ie Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, and on the other hand I have seen some shows needlessly extend since they were popular, Prison Break anyone? That damn show should have ended once they broke out. What I like about British tv is that programs are made to run for a certain amount of time ie 2 seasons, no extension no matter how popular they are. A formula the stations that run Heroes and Lost should have listened to. Anyway I'll turn my tv back on when True Blood, Dexter and V return to the screen.

With that being said TGIF and have a fun weekend!