Sunday, September 25, 2005


Oh well Sunday is here.slept in most of the morning and got my room into order, it has lots more space now for doing things like press-ups,sit ups, yoga etc.Needed some order in my room that and the fact that I noticed that I have put on a couple of kilos.Not noticeable to other but to me and I want to keep it that way.As procrastination is what makes some jamaas look like they are expecting twins.
Other then that I should make sure that I go to kanisa next Sunday.Usually Sunday is my day for lying in and doing laundry but I think I should give the guy upstairs a shout out.
Also due to swedish boy being made to buy drinks for a Kenyan mama who was better off then him I have come up with some of the strategies our Kenyan sisters use to make us buy pints.
1.Cold call
Here you will meet a mama and she will shamelessly ask you to buy a pint/tot of her choice.Most men do buy but if it is someone I really do not know or has little potential if any, I usually go with:
a) Nah, maybe next time
b) I dont do things like that on the first night
c) Nah, you look drunk enough as it is
d) Why dont you buy me one instead
All these came to me after I saw the light and are best delivered with a smile on your face.If she cant take the joke, then too bad.She wasn't worth your time. Same goes if she asks you to buy her and her pals drinks.
2.Warm call
Here you may not know the chic or know her slightly. What she will do is warm you up with some conversation and a little touching.Usually she will run her hand up your bicep ( if you have one that is ), touch you to make a point and such.She will laugh at all your jokes and look you deep in the eyes as you talk.The wham!"Why don't you be a dear and buy me a drink?"
Most of the time this one is hard to resist more so if she come to you and has no drink.If she has a drink and you see it running out, excuse yourself and go to the pool table or say you have a call to make.Get lost for like 3 - 5 mins as you return peek at where she is seated.If she has bought herself a drink the saunter back, if not then it is your choice what to do either return to the battlefield if you are seeking action from her or retreat so your wallet can fight another day.
3.Bootie call
Here what happens is that you meet a chic, she will be very friendly and if it is in a club setting as per kawa will ask you if you want to dance.If she is dressed to impress and you are in the hunt you will most def agree.So what she will do is wow you on the dance floor at the same time decreasing the proximity between her body and yours.Rubbing parts of her into parts of you that she knows are vulnerable to close contact.What will happen is that most of the blood to your brain will start going south. As the song end and you get off the dance floor you may find yourself being herded to the bar.She will then bat her eyelids at you while holding your hand, "Sweetness, buy me a drink?"Needless to say you will capitulate.It takes a hard man to resist this one.
-Ladies dont think I am saying that ya'll do not buy drinks.Au contraire I have been taken out by many a gal.But there are some gals who have honed milking men to a science.So jamaas if you make yourself look like a baller a mama will expect you to treat her like you are balling.So jihadhari!!

1 comment:

Milonare said...

My take:

Cold calls - Never used to do these. If she asks I laugh it off... Only cold called as an opening line when I really wanted to chat up a chick (back in the day as Im now taken)...

Warm calls - ya... sometimes let some rub action cajole me into buying drinks. The more rubbing and intense, the more expensive the drink that was bought - hihihihi

Bootie calls - Eish. This led to the bar being open for the shorty if she fitted her curves in well with my er... sensitive manenos... Hahahaha

Thank god I dont have to deal with this no more...

LOLOLOL at wallet living to fight another day...