Monday, February 06, 2006

Overheard in my life.....

Here are some interesting quotes from me and some people I have met in my existance....

Form 2 Math teacher to a dumbass student:The only difference between you and the sack of maize in your father's store is that you are here now!

Pyscho Form 1 physics teacher to my deskmate:David!You are stupid, just like your brother!

Once in high school some my pals were indulging in some horseplay in the toilets and one of them splashed water from the sink on the other, so he exclaimed "F*ck!!"Our genial principle was passing outside the toilets and heard the commotion.He proceeded to pop his head in the doorway and told the boys, "It's not fuck, it's sexual intercourse"

Once when I was doing a biology exam we were given a diagram of a bean sead and told to eplain the different parts and their roles.There is a part of the bean sead that contains food reserves to nourish it as it develops leaves and roots harness the nutrients of the soil.On my paper I wrote that this part was meant to nourish the bean in case of premature ejaculation germination.You can see how knowledgable I was about all areas of biology then!

Psycho Form 3 physic teacher to dumbass student #2:Andrea, do you know you have the I.Q of a plant.(he then proceeded to smile broadly to himself)

In school we had a building that was set apart from the main school and had the art room where art students would go for Art and Technical drawing classes.It is obvious that Aco was an artist.At this point in time we young lads had discovered the wonderful world of profanity, so someone had scrawled the word F*ck in felt pen on one of the wooden tables.This offended the middle aged white lady who was our art teacher then so much so that she went to fetch one of the P.E teachers to talk to us.Our P.E teacher brought his Orbitsports clad suit self to the class, looked at the graffiti looked at us and said; "So you people know how to f*ck?"Over the years these tables where students sat 4 per table were turned into canvasses for amateur porn artists, the Karma sutra was illustrated several times on that table.The cleaners got so tired of sanding over those table that they were finally painted black.

My pal Mike to a gal called Peggy (who had lottsa cash but was the p.c word is very plain) in Carni at the beginning of shika shika time:Peggy, I am so so drunk but you are still unattractive.

From my stoic yet erudite classmate Steve: A stiff dick has no conscience!

My pal Joe who was saved one decided that he would accompany the boys to J.Kays and lead them to the Lord that night.
Joe: You guys are wasting your lives on these momentary thrills....
Mike:Shut up and drink this (sliding a beer his way)
Joe: But the Bible....
Mike: The Bible says drink and make merry, it also says a little wine is good for the stomach, just drink it
Rest assured that was the last we heard of the Gospel as Joe got as wasted as everyone else...

In form one we had a sarcastic Irish class teacher, his sarcasm was made ever more biting by his sing song lilting accent.I had this deskmate called Timothy who was going to be serving a suspension the following week because of leaving the school compound without permission.
Teacher: Timothy, could you give us the answer to number 5.
Timothy: No Sir, I didn't do the assignment.
Teacher: Well you'll have plenty of time to do it next week!
Class: sniggering away....

Damn these memories are so funny that I have to do all I can to recall as many as possible before time steals them from me!


KenyanMusings said...

Yaaay I am first.
LOOOOOOOOL, you just made my morning!!

Kenyangal said...

Q1: How do you put a line through words?

Q2: kwani which school did you go to with so many wazungu teachers?

C1: V. Funny :)

acolyte said...

@ kenyanmusings
Glad to be of service!
@ kenyangal tag s -intert word close tag s that's how.
2.A private catholic school
3.There is more to come...

Keguro said...

I hate to admit it, but Aco's school probably has the best record and history of racial integration in Kenya.

I *really* hate admitting it. But I give props where due.

Prousette said...

@ Keguro are you willing to give us the name of the school so we take our kiddos there?
@ Aco You have had crazy company through your life now we know why you are the way you are.

Sashe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sashe said...

pretty funny retorts there,
especially from the teachers,
lol @ having a plants IQ thats tough!! and peggy still being unattractive.
Great posts, intresting blog cheers :)

acolyte said...

@ Keguro
Coming from you that is great praise!I am sure the fathers tried their best!
@ prou
First I have to make sure that the high standards have been maintained before I give you the hook up!Btw:You haven't heard half the stories.
@ sashe
Thanks for passing by!Will pass by your blog!