Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Jobs for those born in Acolyte Month!

To help you know more about Acolyte month, I am going to examine an article that talks about the best careers for people born during this month.
Top Ten Careers for Aries
(March 20 - April 18)
By the Astrocenter Team

Aries are well suited to any career in which leadership, energy, and determination are important. Of all the signs of the Zodiac, Aries is probably the biggest go-getter and the most motivated employee. (Depends on the job and how much they are paying me!)

Aries aren't known to be patient and tactful and aren't temperamentally suited to life in the secretarial pool or accounts payable. Rams tend to choose careers that are exciting and involve an element of risk. One of the most ambitious signs, they do not want to wait for success. Decisive, assertive steps bring them to their goals.( Yup that's me!)

Aries need to have a lot of freedom, an outlet for their passions, and the assurance of a boost to their ego. Aries is opinionated and can easily overpower other staff. They are great at flying by the seat of their pants. Perservering Aries will not give up their goals and will see things through to the bitter end.(opinionated - yes, persevering - yes, needs freedom - yes!)

Read on to see which careers are best suited to fiery Aries!

Olympic Athlete:
This path requires dogged determination, vitality, and competitiveness of Herculean proportions. The ordinary person would not put in the hours, endure the stress, suffer the injuries and get up that early in the morning. This "win at all costs" attitude is what will make or break them. If they make it to the top they can expect great success, but if they don't it will be spectacular failure. Either way, they are most passionate and committed.(I can see myself on the podium with a gold medal already!)

Personal Trainer:
Aries is the perfect individual to be on the case of an overweight, out-of-shape, gym newbie, just like a dog at dinner. As obnoxious as Aries is in real life, they can get paid big bucks to be pushy and bossy in this setting. Depending on the results of their client they can be a hero or a real pain in the rear (literally). The qualities that Aries bring to this job are a love of competitiveness, a penchant for pushing, and an enormous capacity to take control and inspire clients to success.
(That and the fact that I just don't like lazy fatties!)
Aries love to fight, get in your face, and be in control. For those reasons, they are quite suited to breaking up fights, tossing people out on the street, and looking impenetrable. To train for the job, they must bulk up with weights, drink a lot of protein shakes and practice standing with their arms crossed, looking mean. If they work in a really nice place, they may have to have some fashion sense to screen out losers. Aries' affinity for really loud music and boisterous patrons will come in handy.
(4 days in the gym per week and a love for martial arts?All I need is an extra 50 pounds and I can do this!I can see myself tossing Nick,Milo,
Prison Warden:
For this job, Aries has to be immune to the plight of others, have a God complex, and be capable of leading a diverse group of people. Aries is quite suited to this rough environment and a position of power within it. They are tough, feisty individuals who don't take any guff off anyone. When faced with a riot, they are not daunted and a rush of adrenaline takes over. They may have to watch their blood pressure and take anger management courses, but other than that they'll fit right in.
(Kick ass now and ask questions later!Yeah baby!)
Drill Sergeant:
This career is perfect for outspoken, pushy Aries. They are drawn to be in a position of complete power and love the ability to make recruits grovel and obey their commands. They are well suited to the breaking of spirits and inspiring complete observance to orders and rules. They are not prone to daydreaming or being slack and abhor that in others. They have the influence of Mars to thank for the ability and interest in inflicting discipline and control.
(I get to break people and rebuild them?!Oh yeah!!!!Welcome to Aco boot camp!)
Stunt Person:
This job requires a really crazy person to sign up. They must have absolutely no fear, a thirst for danger, and a strong independence, which describes the Ram completely. Aries would probably do stunts for free, just for the thrill, so a paycheck is icing on the cake. They have the endurance for long days on a movie set or the fearlessness to be a crash test dummy.

(Now here they got it wrong.Me work for free?Hell no!!!!)
Prize Fighter:
The bloodshed and pain of this career appeal to warrior Aries and they are quite talented at fighting. Natural athletes, they are agile and powerful, but also very shrewd. The long hours of training are not a problem for Aries, and the smell of sweat spurs them on to greatness in this field. This job also requires a fierce sense of competition, which makes Aries well suited to be a champion.

(I'd only opt for this if it was mixed martial arts like UFC coz boxing is for pussies!Let's get ready to rumble!)
Fire Chief:
This career takes a strong sense of leadership, a need to take risks, and good physical condition. Because of these attributes and their fascination with fire, Aries would stand out in this job. They may be called upon to light a fire under their staff or put out a forest fire. Either way, they have to be sharp, decisive, and able to respond to conditions quickly. Added bonus: the ability to whip up a batch of five-alarm chili will allow them to achieve great success amongst their peers.

(leadership?check!risk taker?check!good physical condition?check!A new hero is in the house!)
Mercenary Soldier:
For those Aries soldiers, the option of fighting for a foreign government might appeal. This career requires a certain toughness of mind, lack of need for personal safety, and the ability to stay unattached to personal ties. Aries would probably be able to cope with such lack of creature comforts and the highly disciplined life better than anyone.
(Blowing up things and getting paid for it?That would rock!)
Other careers that were not mentioned here that The Acolyte would do excel at include:
Assassin:It would be great to take out enemies of the state, terrorist and depraved individuals such as D-shy and Kenyanmusings and get paid for it)
Executioner:It would be great to be paid to lance the boils on the skin of humanity.I can imagine myself laughing as I pull the switch or strap down D-shy for her lethat injection for all the suffering she has caused mankind!)
Judge:Order in the world can only be maintained when people like me lay down the law.I will have no tolerance to excuses so when you kbw gals kill your husbands for the insurance check and use the battered woman defence I will have no sympathy at all!
Celestial Being:The Universe would be in total harmony under The Being formerly known as The Acolyte!


mocha said...

WWWWOOOOHHHOOOOO! Guess who's first?

LOL @ assassin!

mocha said...

How come the last job in the article - High School Coach - wasn't mentioned in your analysis?

Shiroh said...


Prousette said...

I am so glad ideals are not always attained on this side of the planet and wishes are not horse especially for te Acolyte.

acolyte said...

@ Mocha!
Congrats!I would rock as an assassin!I thot no one would notice the missing job!Thanks for nuthin!I just dont like dealing with know it all kids!
@ shiroh
Yes it is!
@ prousette
Why thank you!

Fun to kick around LOL, said...

Yaaaani Aco, you have tutted that horn mpaka I so cannot wait for this month to end, we all get over your month yada yada bla bla.....**Yawn yawn swallowing my comp**,

Please someone put a knife through my back already!!! Please no more April stories or I will throw myself infront of the 'truck with guys from the pound' LOOOL, that is my sweeter poison.

Haiya, and how is babe doing? ama she has chokad the chasteness and decided to move on to er, more, dare I say yielding pastures?

acolyte said...

@ KM
I thot your back would be knife proof given the amount of times you gals stab each other in the back!April tales are still coming!Babe is doing sawa, she knows that the fruit of my chastity will be the most succulent,largest and will linger in her taste buds longest so it's worth waiting for....

Joseph Walking said...

i just read your comments on dshys blog."Joe's style is non confrontational unlike mine and that is where you seem to take umbrage."

Acolyte what does your beef have to do with me.werent you guys beefing even before i ever showed up this are the things that made me quit KBW.You dont know a thing about me but go dragging my name into fights.Dont let your ego mess up your reputation acolyte i enjoy your blog and reading your comments on other blogs but now your beef has sunk you to a new low .

Msanii_XL said...

That and the fact that I just don't like lazy fatties!)....Nick will not take kindly to that statement.

oohh beef where?who? why?

acolyte said...

@ joe
Stop making mountains out of molehills.All I said is that I am not you full stop!The beef has nothing to do with you!In fact if you read my whole comment you can see me offering an olive branch at the end.
@ msanii
pole you missed proceedings!

Joseph Walking said...

Good for the heads up

dangerously_shy said...

You forgot crash test dummy


acolyte said...

@ d-shy
beats your job as a blow up doll!