Seeing as yesterday's post brought back so many interesting memories, I felt that I should share some more.At some point in my life we lived around Spring Valley, so I had alot of friends who live in Loresho.The thing with those areas is that there is not a very high residence turnover (meaning not too many people move out) so even 8 years after we moved out most of the people whom I knew still lived there.
Now if anyone knows anything about those neighbourhoods , it is the fact that there are alot of spoilt kids who do nothing but bum and have cash and time to burn.Now one of my best pals was tight with those people.His parents didn't lavish as much cash on him as the other kids so he had to hustle to make ends meet and I guess that's what made us be good pals as he was really down to earth.Anyway some enterprising soul decided to open a bar in the Loresho environs.The women of the local church (mother's union) were up in arms and I think they even demonstrated but since the appropriate licences and bribes were paid the joint was opened.For the first few months it was not uncommon for mothers to be found there looking for their wayward sons,daughters and husbands.It used to tickle me silly to be in the presence of a middle aged man telling us that we young uns were soft for letting our girls push us around and that he's the one who wears the pants in the house; only for the same zack to turn into a meek mouse when his wife would come and blast him for being a good for nothing and order him to follow her home.
What I used to fear about my boy, his name was Kibbz is the fact that this dude had the verbal skill to sell a Samburu in Nothern Kenya a tanning bed.More so he could even do the same with drunk people.I have a short string when it comes to drunk people as they don't reason very well, we only work well when I am under the influence too.Anyway back to the point at hand.I learnt that when I was visiting pals in Loresho, that if I passed by his area that I might as well carry a jacket as I would not be leaving soon or even that same day.I forgot to say that he was like an MP, you know those dudes who know everyone and by hanging out with him you get to know too many people by default.
What used to make my day is when to facilitate a quick escape I would go visit peeps at the local and tell them I was too broke to buy myself more then one drink (Of course I had the cash but I didnt want to be tied down).To counter this what he would ask me to give him the money I was going to use to buy the drink.He would then go and consult with his boys and they would have an adhoc harambee and buy a 750ml vodka bottle for the group.Seeing as I was not and am not a hard liqour fan, I would buy a soda to dilute my portion.Let me tell you I have never been begged for a tots of soda like I was during those times as people would rather save their cash for liqour and not soda but were more then happy to have some of mine.What would happen when you left to go to the loo is that someone who had too much vodka would add some of theirs to yours.So you would come back from the loo to find your drink more concentrated then you left it, after getting hammered a couple of times; I learned to have a bladder of steel.
We had many adventures but here is one.This adventure taught me never to go clubbing with people unless you have gotten to observe them before hand under the influence of alcohol.Now there was this young chic who was a pal of Kibbz' who really wanted to go clubbing with us.Other then seeing her in the hood once in a while I didn't know too much about her.Kibbz said that she was seemed like an o.k chic and since she said she would buy us a round or two we should take her with us.I didn't see a problem with that, later I would wish I did.The evening started well enough at the local.Everyone had a round or two to get us going.Most people were having beers but our guest decided to sample one of the brands that ended with the name cane, but like the rest of us she didnt seem the worse for wear.We went to a joint in Westlands (which will remain nameless) where we did the usual lap of honour and proceeded to get comfortable.What used to happen is that we would get one table but people would be free to roam around and do their thing.So when the young un wasnt with us long we didnt mind as she knew where to find us.It is when an hour or so, a crowd of 3 guys passed us saying "My guy!We have to see this mama!"
Hearing that we had to follow them and see what was up.To get to the site of the action, we see a crowd of dudes around a table and who is on the table?Yes you guessed it!The young un aka our guest.She was in the process of stripping to the music.She had already taken off her top and was working on the bra.Where were the bouncers at this time?Either they were watching or chatting outside.
So one of my pals grabbed her off the table as fast as possible despite the mob's protests and we took her to the ladies where we managed to get through her drunken state and convince her to put on her top.She did so and we decided to take her outside to sober up.As we were doing this she was telling us to buy her some liqour, of course we refused.So we left her sitting outside near the car with one of our pals for company and we went back in to finish our drinks.As I was drinking my beer I got that feeling you get in the gut of your stomach when something is going wrong.So I asked Kibbz to take me outside to check on the chic.On getting there we get here on the verge of shattering one of the cars windows with a large rock.Seems that she had noticed that we had a 1/3rd full bottle of vodka and she thought that was the fastest way to get to it.We managed to stop her and put her in the car.Where was our pal who was supposed to keep her company?Well he had decided to go round the block to buy some cigarettes.
So we all pile into the car and decide to go buy some fries and kuku porn to round off the night.The young un seemed to have sobered up at this point in time so we asked her to join us in the joint.We ordered our food and things seemed fine only for our meal to be interupted by her screaming!It seems that we had kidnapped her.It is at that point in time that I was thankful for Kenyan's apathy that sees them look on as you are beaten silly by muggers in the city streets.No-one in the establishment batted an eyelid so we were able to calm her down and make her realise who we were and why we were together.We took her home and boy were we glad to be rid of her.
The most ironic thing is that they next week she found us chilling out in the hood and asked us when we were going out next and if she could come.I am sure you could guess our response.
Speaking of cane drinks and the havoc the wreak, I should tell you the story about how one of my neighbours back home had a little more then she could handle and the resulting drama that had someone tell her, "If you are a teacher I feel sorry for the children."
On to ennui.My life doesn't suck but it is as boring as ever!I am tired of these long ass boring classes with the inane assignments.I am tired of my job!I am sick of this tired PC and I miss my fast Mac with it's big ass wide screen from my old job!Cable TV sucks!Internet has become mundane (blogs excepted from this comment!) I am sick of being broke!Aaaaargh!!!!!
Oppa Kenyan Style
17 hours ago