Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Cleaning Out My Yahoo! Closet....

Today I decided to try and clear my Yahoo! inbox. It has close to 3,000 emails in it. At times I never used to delete e-mails because they were important, had interesting forwards or I just didnt have the time ( remember cyber cafes arent free!)
I have been at it for almost an hour and I have found loads of interesting stuff that I thought I should share.
Here goes......

I found this joke
A married woman was having a really nice time with one of her boyfriends when there was a sudden knock on the door. Thinking that it was her husband, she instructed the man to jump into the ceiling only to find it was another boyfriend. When the 2nd boyfriend was about to make love to her, the real hubby came. Boyfriend 2 had no other option except to jump into the ceiling also. "How are we getting out of here ?" asked # 2 to #1 "I do not know about you, for me I am going as soon as the hubby starts making love to the wife. When the time came, # 1 jumped naked from the ceiling , landed on the bed and said, "I am Jesus, God shall bless you with a baby girl! He quickly vanished. # 2 quickly followed and panting said "I am Satan have you seen Jesus?" "He went that way." the hubby replied

And another one.....
Butler's Night Off...... A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there. As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeve," she said. "Take off my dress." He did this carefully. "Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties". As he did this, the tension continued to mount. She looked at him and then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
I think I may have posted this one before but it made my day so I have to share it one more time!

Girl’s Diary Monday 17 October 2005 Saw John in the evening and he was acting really strangely I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home. I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep....

Boy’s Diary Monday 17 November 2004 Liverpool lost to Manchester United Had sex though.

There was a period when I went missing for a while.This is what kept me missing.

I also found 10 strings for you (not work friendly!)

This was also funny as ever!(not work friendly!)

Came by this other joke too....

Tanzania has rejected a newly appointed Japanese ambassador to the
country. The Tanzanian Permanent Secretary in the president's office
sent a refutation letter to the Japanese Prime Minister early today. In
the brief letter, the Permanent Secretary expressed his apology that the
newly appointed ambassador will not be allowed to take the post in
Tanzania due to the contradictions that were best not published because
of the repercussions that will be caused in the Swahili speaking
society.

However, The Permanent Secretary added that the issue should not be
taken as a personal matter and that the ambassador will be allowed to
serve the post in Tanzania if he did something about the problem. The
ambassador Kanashuta Hakanuki and his wife Kanakuma Kanagawa were
expected to arrive in Dar es Salaam this weekend. We have also been
reliably informed that their Bi-sexsual son's name is Anakino and their daughter is
called Nikishuta Nitahara.



Would you give him any money?



No more honey for me!




International Symbol for Marriage



My fave exam pics!


A student after my own heart!



Made my day!



Damn Aliens!



A good way to end the post.....

I have to study for an exam and if I keep on looking through my inbox I'll never get started!

12 comments:

Archer said...

I'm FIRST!!! This is just a reminder that I'm still alive... now off to read!

Aegeus said...

That first joke - hilarious! A lot of creativity behind that one.

Second one just goes to show where our minds end up when a man, a woman and undressing comes into the picture. heh heh!

The TZ one - nice!

Please hand that fellow a tenner!

Kwani you thought hunny came from?

Symbol for marriage - scary!

Dont you wish you could put down such smart aleck answers and get away with it? Heh heh!

I will print that notice and hang it on my main door.

Aegeus said...

And archer, i was here first, technically. :-)

Archer said...

@Aegeus: Technically ghitu ghani? Asiyekuwepo na lake halipo!

Comprehensive comment to follow later. Gotta dash.

Marazzmatazz said...

am still laffin' at the satan and jesus one. Ingenious!!! dude, by the way have to holla at u to use one of your snaps i like.

Girl next door said...

My fave joke is the one about the butler Jeeves =)
The symbol for marriage is actually reversed in my opinion. I think it should be the symbol for courtship and proposal, but after getting married they trade places.

Msanii_XL said...

'Illegal moon trade'

that right there is killer

Kenyanchick said...

"Survivors will be shot again."

I LOVE it.

Archer said...

the ninja pic looks like a pal of mine save for the beard. I'm so going to put this pic into bad use!

Acolyte said...

@ Archer
Good to have you back!You are most welcome to use the ninja pic!
@ Aegeus
Yes that joke did make my day!
You are welcome to spread and use the material in any way you see fit!
@ marrazz
As long as you arent making any k from it you are most welcome to use any pic!
@ GND
That joke made my day.With the marriages I have seen here, I stand by the symbol.
@ msanii
It sure is.
@ Kenyanchick
That makes two of us!

Adhis-toto said...

hehehe. Nice.

alexcia said...

Those exam jokes cracked me up vibaya.