Friday, October 06, 2006

The CK post!

Okay I know this ish here was way way over due. Now for those of you who are the purveyors of all that is good and pure, I have a warning!
There is going to be a whole lot of heresay, rumourmongering, speculation and mucene in this post. If you can't take it, please exit here!
Now who is this man CK? That is a hard question to answer because information on this dude is very hazy and hard to come by. This man doesn't give personal interviews at all unless they somewhat relate to his business empire. The kind of information you get from all his different companies is vague and not of much use huh?No age, place of birth, education, family; etc.
But one thing that is an open secret is that this dude loves women (and according to some sources men too). Why is it an open secret? Well if you are as well connected as this dude and you own a radio station; no negative media about you will see the light of day.
I mean do you think any other middle aged ancient man could decided to indulge his nostalgia, become a DJ and spend time with people half his age and not get called out in some way or other?Let's not forget the fact that working in his factories isnt heaven, there are employees who have been casuals for years on end, and this goes against labour law in the country. But other then a brief mention that story didnt go very far.
So time for the DJ CK tales..........

My mother used to sit on a board (this geezer is a member of like 10,000 boards ) with him and many of the board members were not amused when they had a board meeting and he showed up with this company. His "date" was a young chic who was wearing a belt that was masquerading as a skirt and a low cut top to match, and he seemed totally oblivious to the rest of the Board's disapproval.

There was this chic I knew who took up an intership at one of his companies, a courrier I think. So one day when he passed by she caught his eye and he began talking to her. This was one of those sheltered mamas so she thought that he just being a good boss. He would go out of his way to find out how she was doing when he was in town.
So one day she let's slip that she has moved out of home and is looking for a place to stay and she mentioned that living with her boyfriend was not an option (so he knew that she was spoken for). It's at this point that he mentions that he has an apartment near a popular 5 star hotel in the city centre that he isnt doing anything with so she can move in there for a while. Needless to say the chic was overjoyed. He still used to drop in at the office and even give her complimentary tickets to events so she could go with her boyfriend.
One Saturday night around midnight when she was alone in her new swanky pad she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and it's good old CK reeking of alcohol and asking to be let in. She looks at him and in her total naivety says, "no, it wouldn't be appropriate."
CK shrugs and walks away. This happens again two weeks later with the same outcome.
One week later after a hard day's work the chic goes to the apartment, only to find all her belongings in the corridor.
She is shocked and calls CK, only for him to tell her in a casual manner; "In fact I wanted to call you, I need my apartment back."
I guess at that moment she learned how CK operates.

I remember once being a business club member in Uni and for our annual dinner we invited CK to give a speech. Big mistake!
He went up on the podium and started well, giving the virtues of hard work and what we as a student organisation could learn by being members. He then started talking about how the men in the audience should use their money to buy their ladies new locally made underwear and not "dead" peoples' underwear as sold in the street by hawkers. He added that real men shouldn't take their women to live in places like Eastlands that don't have water.
At this point I was so amused that I dont recall the rest of the speech but I know there are several club members out there somewhere who can back me up. Needless to say our faculty asked us why we couldnt find a more credible speaker.

Then there are these two chics who are pals of mine who both told me that CK had the nerve to hit on them with their boyfriends present and even to tell them that he could take care of them better than they could.

As for whether he plays for both teams. I was catching pints with a pal of mine and a fly chic came by and she asked him how CK was doing in addition to asking her how she enjoys servicing him. Well she replied that it wasn't so bad as all she had to do was give occasional blowjobs while a certain well known male radio presenter would be his partner for the rest.

I am sure you have all heard of this moghul's adventures and in the case of the ladies been subject to his attention. So share the tales, be anonymous if need be!
ps: Other than the dinner story and the evicted babe the rest of the accounts are heresay and should not be repeated to every Odour, Njeri or Kanini as gospel truth!


D One said...

waaaa my jaw dropped on the floor harder than when Bill wasimpeached.....aaaaaw the disgust....ati men shoundt buy women underwear from dead peeps /??

the nerve of the man .....

Me first yaaaaaaay !

Acolyte said...

@ D one
That dude has an ego and a half I tell you!
That reminds me of the conference he was invited for that was held by an NGO and was sent for a business class ticket, he had it sent back. CK only travels First Class!

egm said...

Eh, I will have to write about his Grand Speech during the African Harvard Business School conference. It was hilarious. And painful at the same time. And since I witnessed it first hand, it will not be hearsay. Eh, ngoja tu!

Acolyte said...

I see I am not the only one who has been through one of his speeches!I eagerly await your account!

The Devious One said...

EGM tambua...Im curious to hear what he said

Movie Buff said...

lol... this man is very very very very grimy.


Even my dad warned me... MY DAD.. who doesnt say more than 20 words a day WARNED ME... ...

mocha said... I wasnt far off with my photo comment. TIHIHIHIHIHI!!!

Dude clearly has issues!!!

Have a timam weekend Aco!

Kenyangal said...

who is DJ CK? :( maybe i'lltry google..

Kenyangal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kelitu said...

Dj CK...sijui niseme.
He used to bang my neighbor and so she used to drag me up to one of his 2 offo (11th floor, Intl Life Hse). He is such a bore (with his endless shrubs)and he kept telling me that i should consider myself lucky coz i not so many chics get the opportunity to come over to his pad.*puke* this is despite the fact that at his reception area he has cameras so that he can see which mamaz are coming in.
One time my pal was taking too long in the office with him (paying back for the ,money and the stuff from stato that he gave her)so i got up to leave and one of his secretaries told me to sit my ass down and wait otherwise she would be in trouble...
As for doing jamaaz, i have heard about his bi-sexuality...and nothing surprises me anymore...

Udi said...

@DJ Ck- about being BI. those rumours have been there. But the dude kamatas enough under 18's. he is the kenyan jack nicholson except that he has no class.

One person I am sure he wanted to kil one day is Udi. I am in Nai at one of Capitals bash and he comes and tells the bartender to serve him a drink. Udi has been there for kedo 10 minutes waiting to be served. So I yell at the waiter "hata kama he is the one throwing the heng, the rest of us are paying for pint". Let me just say CK looked at me like I was an alien. I was ready to peleka my money to F1. Fuk the dude.

acolyte said...

Blogger ate my comment!
Will be back!

kenyananalyst said...

hey, just read you on mine. Now, whose goat have you eaten? Or have you become the poet's leopard in the someone else's compound (remember Jonathan Kariara's Intro to poetry?)

Shiroh said...

Cough cough!!!!

Half 'n' half said...

(curse the bush- and am sticking with that story) didnt even know you had left KBW till I read D1's post

Bout DJ CK Yuck, I guess he is living testimony that you can take the man out of kirinyaga but the the kirinyaga still gonna be around! the shame....

Aegeus said...

Around the block dude. Very interesting.

StackOfStiffys said...

Hope it's not too late to comment. I think I should do a post on this one, as my comment will outdo Aco's post lengthwise! Was going to talk about the cameras at his office but Kelitu beat me to it! I once went there for a meeting with some mamaz and he got out and welcomed us way before we spoke to the secretary, but the very next day and the next two weeks, he called kept calling one of the mamaz and she put him off. Needless to say, we never got the job we'd gone to propose for.

Another time I was working out of some five star hotel in Nairobi, and he was right there at lunch time with two young latino mamaz, the eldes of whic was like 16, and the other 13, and the two chicks were smoking while CK was caressing the eldest, and everyone in the restaurant was ogling!

And yet another time(!) I was delivering a report to one of our foreign clients at Intercon like at midnight as we had a tight deadline and our client had a flight to catch at 3 AM, and CK checks in with this young and generally well adorned jamaa and heads straight for the lifts after waving at the lobby attendants. I later (like one year down the road), saw his company at Gypsys and was told he was one the gay hookers who peddle their wares there, si I bet he plays for the dream team alright!

His sensational exploits aside, his company's make money OK, but as Aco says, at Haco, there are guys who've been casuals since the early 1980s, and earn like 200 bob a day! His security dogs at Haco live in a 150k kennel, and their expense account cost like 1 milli every year, including a visit to the vet every fortnight at Sarit, milk, eggs etc! The only lucky casual is the dogs' caretaker! And did I say he bought a pen worth like 1 million bob to 'sign executive cheques?'!!!!

jjohn.olwal said...


Dear Acolyte:

We are litigation counsel for CK. We and our client have become aware that the website (the Website) has an article that defames our client at the URL address ''. We are directing this letter to you as the owner of the URL or domain name and the owner and operator of the Website.

On behalf of our client, we demand that You immediately remove from the Website the said article and that You provide me with a letter by October 16, 2006, in which You confirm that You have complied with the foregoing and that You agree not to resume such activity.

You would be well advised to comply with these demands immediately and to inform us in writing of your agreement to do so. To expedite your written response, You should fax a letter to me at +25420222222 and/or send an e-mail to me at

This letter does not purport to constitute a complete or exhaustive statement of all of my client's rights, contentions or legal theories. Nothing contained herein is intended as, nor should it be deemed to constitute, a waiver or relinquishment of any of my client's rights or remedies, whether legal or equitable, all of which are hereby expressly reserved.


[via e-mail]




Prousette said...

Acolyte you gonna be sued for this.

Did not know he is a DJ as well?
Ach shame!!

Acolyte said...

@ Prou
This dude is a hater!That email address doesnt even exist!I sent an email and it bounced, besides who is CK?Wink wink nudge nudge....

Anonymous said...

hahaha - lakini this guys needs to stop talking about har work and all that coz all that is a lie, on the other hand i had he was initiated into usenge by bruce mackenzie back in the dya thats how he started climbing the corporate ladder - not to mention he bankrupted kenatco