The Muppet Queen has bug infestation and A Kenyan Horror Story

The muppet queen was on her usual late night radio show last week and said how she had to burn her mattress and sheets in addition to dealing with itching fits all over her body. According to her, she had a bed bug infestation but methinks the crabs, bed bugs and lice got tired of eating in the basement and decided to move around the rest of the house. Her co-host suggested that she sleep with her sisters but she said they refused.
This brings me to my question. You are a mama with a kid, making good money and are still living at home?That for me is a warning bell. Unles you are marrying a 21 year old girl, if someone has a paying job and are still living at home past the age of 25, think long and hard before going long term with them (same goes for men who can afford to live on their own but don't). I mean if someone has a well paying job and are still living with their parent's well into their mid- twenties without a plausible reason, I think they are ill equiped to handle the new responsibilities that running a home may entail. In fact living at home could be their way of escaping them.
I wanted to hear the rest of her story but I had to go disinfect my earphones before my ears got infected.


Anyway enough of that. Let me tell ya'll a story. 20 year John, his 19 year old sister and family moved into a new neighbourhood. The first few weeks were utter boredom for John as he knew no-one in the neighbourhood and was getting bored stiff. Things were a bit better for his sister as some of the boys in the estate went out of their way to try and hook up with her and so she knew some people here and there. But as time went buy John managed to make pals with the dudes who would chill out and crack jokes the whole day at jobless corner, which was where the recent high school graduates who had nothing to do and the matatu touts would hang out.
Since John was waiting to get his acceptance letter from one of the public universities he had alot of free time as he had just finished doing a certificate course at a commercial college. Other than playing PS2 and watching TV the only other thing he did was hang out with his new pals at jobless corner. When they felt comfortable around him they made him part of their gomba chewing and boza smoking crew. Every Saturday night they would go to the house of one the group whose parents had retired upcountry leaving him the house to take care while the looked for a long term tenant.
In addition to their usual activities they would also buy a few bottles of cheap cane liqour, invite one of the local girls, get her drunk and have their way with her as a group.
One weekend John had to go out of town to run an errand for his father. He found that the usual festivities had gone some way without him so he joined in grabbing a large glass of cane liqour and taking a puff of the blunt. As the high began to kick in one of the dudes came to him and told him that they had gotten another girl wasted and were having their way with her and that he should go take a shot.
He stumbled into the dark room and could vaguely make out a naked figure on the bed. He unzipped his trousers and approached the bed. He got on the girl and began having his way with her. As he was thrusting away enjoying himself, the girl drunkenly mumbled that it was about time she went home.
He thought that the voice sounded shockingly familiar but he ignored it and kept on with the task at hand. She repeated her request one more time and he thought to himself,
"It can't be!" but decided to put his addled mind at ease and reached over to the side table and turned on the light.
The face that met he saw was so familiar that he was jolted into becoming sober, it was his sister he had been shagging!Their screams reverberated all over the estate, making dogs howl, cats caterwaul, children cry, pregnant women go into labour and parent wake up wondering what horrors had visted their quiet neighbourhood..........

(Tale narrated as told to him in a dingy Nairobi West bar i.e. West End. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional. All rights reserved Acolyte 2006)