Monday, November 20, 2006

My Confession, Dildos, Car Wrecks and A New Champ...

I have a confession to make. I am a member of a dating site (Phew! It was good to get that off my chest). What's worse is that I am not a member of the website so I can get a piece of ass from a girl who is;

a) Has the mileage of 20 year old Greyhound bus.
b) Has so much baggage that you could call her Samsonite.
c) Has the social interaction skills of a stone.
d) Wants to put her wild past behind her and settle with a man who doesn't know about it, and if she has her way never will.
e) Is a nice girl who has just had bad luck with men.

No getting laid isn't part of the agenda at all. I just enjoy reading some of the profiles and I also have this Nick-like fascination with looking at the pictures people put on their profiles. It's amazing how some peoples' descriptions of themselves and their pictures don't match at all! Add to this the ladies who have some scandalous (for lack of words to describe them) pics. The kind that you look at and the last thing that crosses my mind is both of our hearts becoming one. Good times! ™ Movie Buff.

I was going through some of my old posts and I came across this jewel and I think it is still pertinent today! Listen up ladies!

"Me and my roommate both use a dildo when we aren't having regular sex with a guy. When they get all nasty after a while, we just toss them in the dishwasher. Well, the other day my parents came over and when they saw the dildos in the dishwasher, they refused to have anything to eat or drink. Are they just being paranoid or what?" - Fiona, Little Neck, NY
Fiona,Even if you do clean your "toys" by putting them in the dishwasher, there is something off-putting about knowing that your cups and saucers are being cleaned along with a dildo. How difficult is it just to clean it separately? Do you keep your dildo in the same drawer with your knives and forks? Try and keep your toys a little less visible and you'll have less difficulty with other people.
KBW ladies please take this advice to heart.Never forget that Aco cares for you......

Have you ever been at the site of a car wreck and all the gore that accompanies it? Did you find yourself looking even though you knew you would be disgusted or repelled by what you saw? That is how I felt about the clip below.

I am going to break man code and ask the guys openly, if you had a fatal disease whose only cure was to have sex and only the chics in the video were available; which one would you hit? Feel free to be anonymous when you answer, he he he!

In other news, it seems that Matt Hughes is no longer the UFC Welterweight Champion after his defeat to George St Pierre. I will admit that against weaker opposition Matt would give one hell of a show but against more experienced fighters; his fights were not much to watch. But enough of that seeing as there aren't too many Kenyan bloggers who like the UFC as much as I do. It also shames me that I weigh almost as much as those fighters do but I look nothing like them when I take off my shirt. No, I do not have a one pack and man boobs but I'm still some ways off compared to those dudes. I guess that will be one of my new year's resolutions. To get back in serious training.
Have a nice Monday!

24 comments:

Girl next door said...

Online dating has gone mainstream, but some sites are more reputable than others. One thing I've noticed is that most people trying to get a date describle themselves as "laid-back" how is it possible for everyone to possess this trait?

The dildo story is too gross.

As for the video clip, I'm speechless.

Anonymous said...

Aco...clip is disgustin'.How could you post that? Gives someone a bad taste in the month. Now i have to spend my whole months pay on skinny teen hookers.

Half 'n' half said...

I still dont quiet understand online dating, its the fakest ever. (Iam silently gonna pretend I did not see the clip)

LOL on anon spenidn his pay on skinny dates

mocha said...

The clip....EEWWWW!!!

A pajama party gone wrong.

The dildo story is just effed up. Like the one a kiddo walks into a room with one when the parents have guests.

Dating sites....psycho heaven excluding a few.

Shiroh said...

Aco!!!

That dildo story is so disgusting!

There is something about dating online that makes one look like a loser. I didn't say belonging to a dating website I used to be on one called capitalfm.co.ke/dating. Wonder what happened to it?

Didn't watch the clip something to do with restriction in streaming videos *eeish!*.

Jienjoy wiki hii

Amber said...

@Aco,

I think online dating is the bomb! Just depends on what site, and what you are looking for. Am in the process of building one or two friendships with some guys I met on one earlier this year.
Of course you meet some psychos, but that is true of life outside internet dating anyway, so...

@Shiroh,
Yes there is that loser element, but there is also the fact that it is more likely that one has outgrown their current social spaces and needs to expand that space, and what better way?
All the guys I met are not people I would have met in my ordinary social space, so am glad for having done it.

Movie Buff said...

LOL

Good times I tell you!!!

OK.. that dildo story is too gross. Kwani people dont wash them as soon as they use them? Seriously.. thats just NASTY!!

Cant watch the clip yet.... I will tho.

I love the man codes....

Archer said...

Coming in at Number 8 is none other than Archer! Si bado niko top 10, which is a rare thing these days. Off to read.

StackOfStiffys said...

Um...phew! Number 9! Kwani what were you up to this past weekend? The dildo story is just gross, and the video reeks wanton lasciviousness. I wouldn't mind a piece of that buxom ass if my life depended on it. Problem is, I wouldn't live to enjoy the rest of it. What man would last 10 min in the hands of those wenches even if they were the pinnacle of fine health?

Online dating rocks!

Archer said...

Do people actually do that? As in throw in the dildo with the dishes, then have half a brain to ask what's wrong with that? That's not just gross, but it's stupid. The asking part.

Virtual dating...I like to believe that there must be something about people who do this ie there has got to be a reason why they can't find themselves a partner using more conventional methods. A profile may show some fwyne ass latino chic, but will she confess that she's a psycho or that she's got incurable halitosis? Think about it!

The video ain't loading on this PC, but I think I should count myself lucky!

My theory about fitness is why have a six pack when you can have a KEG! :-)

Acolyte said...

@ Girl Next Door
I do agree some sites are most def too skanky! People on sites give themselves too many attributes like that and outgoing.People would rather say what they think they are then what they are.
@ Anon
LMAO! Throw one of 'em my way!Just kidding....
@ half n half
Online dating is a load of fun in itself.All those characters in one place.
@ mocha
That was more like a tent party.
I think I have a cartoon about that incident.
@ shiroh
I dont know where the site went.Pole bout the restriction, I will try to have the best week I can, thanks.
@ amber
I do agree that there are some nice looking sites, I just dont have the psyke and motivation to go through them. They do give a good alternative to everyday interactions which can get somewhat mundane.
@ movie buff
I have no idea about dildo maintenance.
Man codes rule!
@ archer
It seems some peeps are too lazy to watch there own dildos.You would be surprised at how dirty jungus are.I have to blog about those fake on-line beauties!
@ stack
I had a thinking weekend. I do agree that those mamas would decimate you in the bedroom!

Majonzi said...

the clip was too long... watched like 10 secs, wondered when it wud get done, then stopped it... I did notice a jungu mama's pic in the hse, the cameraman?

Man code? lol! I jua some jamaas who like "thick" women... so u wud find a cupla.

online dating-- I think times have changed... we are online all the time, and this was bound to happen. if u find a perfect mate online, go for it! I met someone online, and we dated for 2yrs. Although have since broken up, our relationship was great. Neither one of us is a psycho.. hahaha, and neither one of us was laid back.

saskarama said...

Why hate on BBWs? Bring em all to me! I'll give them some good Big Girl Loving like only Saskarama can! So any big girls out there, don't hesitate to get a hold of me! I'll just stock up on RedBull.

Margaret Kimosop said...

speechless!

Githee said...

Hey man big girls need love too.

saskarama said...

Preach Githee! I'm with you fully there.

Kabinti said...

that dildo vybe in the dishwasher is NASTY!!

Kenyangal said...

WOW those ladies know how to groove!!! No wonder african american women have the healthiest self image among all races.. Being sexy is not about your body, its about your attitude

bomseh said...

on the man code, the number of times i have broken the very first rule.....i hope my friends don't unfriend me now.
the video clip, i'd pick the one in red traos and white top.

online dating, no comment. i'll be putting my foot in the mouth if i do. but i do meet a lot of people online who become good friends.

Aegeus said...

When guys are filling in the online dating forms they project an image they wish they actually carried and this, of course leads to high expectations which unfortunately they are unable to match and any relationship they start is doomed from the beginning.

Clean your dildos, underwear and other like garments separately from utensils. I even use a different sponge to clean plates and another to do the cups and glasses. Manners, dearies, keep the toys out of sight. Shame, who is your mother!?

That video clip manze, too deadly! Those mamas will break you! You might not survive the experience to enjoy your health!

sanaa said...
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sanaa said...
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Itchie Geezy said...

Damn that dildo storo is just digusting i mean, i think those chicks dont even have no bits of ethics or conscience remaining in them.They are just off like a whacky piece of dead meat!

I only got to see the big momma shaking her money maker and i must say that took me off.

Anonymous said...

I could disappear in those folds of fat.

Good news - they would starve thus losing the weight! one or two were redeemable!

I could not watch the entire video. Just disgusted! Plus health problems!