Friday, November 24, 2006

Look in the Air, Its it a Bird? A Plane? No it's.........

Captain Save A Hoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies you know the drill, please exit here, Thank you!

I know you're still here, this is the way out!

Now back to the post gentlemen. For those of you who don't know who or what Captain Save A Hoe is; here is the definition. Here is the song if you want to listen to it. And no I am not calling women hoes, let's clear that up here and now before someone starts moaning about it in the comments section.

Now let's be honest most of us men have all been a Captain Save A Hoe at one time in our lives. This is because for me the title extends further then just a dude who wastes his money and time on an ungrateful woman but one who tries to save a woman from her trials and tribulations many of which are self inflicted.

Most normal red blooded men are driven by the desire to be needed, and this is often our downfall. Nothing makes us feel as manly as when we solve problems, fix things and make things better, when we can't it eats us up inside. This has often led to the downfall of many a man when you throw a woman in the equation.

Do you know one thing most grown men fear? A crying baby. Why is this? Well babies are no respecters of persons; it doesn't matter if you have a mensa level IQ, 28 inch biceps, the wealth of all the fortune 500 companies combined, the fighting skills of several Kung fu masters and the attitude of Jack Bauer. The baby will continue to cry until it gets what it wants or something close to it in spite of whatever else you may try. It is said that women have the memory of elephants so I think they remember this when they pull the tears card, that often works for them; unless they are dealing with a total beast.

Anyway let me get off that bunny trail. While women try to change men, men try to solve all a woman's problems, die trying or give up. That is another reason why many of these "independant" women can't get a man to save their lives, because men look at them and no there is no need for them in this woman's life. But there are women who are on the other side, they have problem after problem after problem. In many of their cases self inflicted.

So you end up with a scenario where a dude hooks up with a chic thinking everything is fine and dandy with her, but overtime the cracks emerge in her facade. The dude being the true man he is volunteers to help her out of her quandry. He puts his heart and soul into it but it turns out that the girl isn't ready to come out of the pit she fell or jumped into, dude tries time and again but fails. Dude is ready to give up, he calls girl and tells her that they have to talk. Girl knows what may be coming and gives dude sob story about how much better her life is with him, how she won't be able to go on with out him yada yada yada; and to cap it off she bursts into tears. Dude feels guilty and stays, tries to help the girl fix her problems; nothing doing. He still wants to leave so a cycle starts, to break the cycle he either leaves irregardless of how he feels or he gets another chic on the side.

This isn't how it always goes but I think a time comes when we as men need to know that we can't fix everyone and their problems. We shouldn't let it make us feel guilty especially if we gave our best, a time comes when you just have to walk away. It's hard but you can't carry a load forever, and yes I know it is much harder then it sounds. If it is too hard you can always sneak out of town with your mattress over your head, belongings in a box, cape tucked in and clothes in a bag!

Moving on, I think Damon Wayans is an idiot. Read this and I am sure you will agree.

Anyway the weekend is upon us, I may actually decide to come out of my seclusion and go for one of the many Kenyan Thanksgiving bashes. Bon weekend!


Half 'n' half said...

Aiii, has everyone retired. Am FAO again, (might get used to it)

Halafu Aco one day I shall mobilize my relas and come looking for you, this business of sending us to oprahs self absorbed site when you want to talk about interesting stuff utawacha.

Those captain Save A hoe's are really the problem, we don't want a saviour, (I think we got that 2000 years ago) we need a partner

Amber said...

I think, for a lot of the women in the dependency cycles, what is needed is a good man, who will only take so much of your s*** but will also not walk away cos you have so much of it.
In other words, someone who does not always sort out your issues for you, who will occasionally tell you exactly where to get off, but does not give up on you because he can be your friend without being sucked into the nonsense.

Anonymous said...

That post had me rolling on the floor! How true. In retrospect i see i have had some of those and thankfully i had presence of mind to tuck in my cape and skip town, my mizigos on my back. Turning on the waterworks has been a tried and tested method which i am still trying to deprogram from the aegeus operating system.

Some of them do not want saving and only get into predicaments where you have to swoop in and 'save' them for the attention it will grant them. Boy do i know this. Chick sees you have not been in touch, 'manufactures' a situation where you have to make an appearance and voila! Instant attention.

Guys, don't try to be prince charming riding in on your white steed and suit of shining armour, you may be sentenced to a lifetime of the same!

Cant get the Damon site to load. Bummer!

Anonymous said...

Half 'n' Half, Amber, where the hell did you jump in from?

Don_quixote said...

OPRAH!!!!!!!!!! i swear that was just low, half"n"half when you and you relas mobilize si you tell me, i shall join you with my sledge hammer. And self absorbed is mild!!!

Captain save jembe wako wengi, its an inbuilt feeling in men to take care of women, men thinking they are the protectors providers et all( i have no qualms with a man who thinks this way so peace guys). The way i see it you can only help a person who wants to be helped. So the captain is there coz he needs some one to need him, its a symbiotic relationship at times but some jembes are just parasitic like a tick you crush and walk on, ok maybe that's too harsh, you just pluck it out and tupa it so that it finds another victim.

Damon wayans, the things some people do all in the of ingenuity is sad, i hope he never gets the trade mark.

acolyte said...

@ half n half
Si you jua there are some things for wanaume only, we dont want you to know all our secrets!
Most but not all chics don't want a saviour sadly.
@ amber
Sad to say there are few people who have relationships that balanced.
@ aegeus
I see you have experienced these mambos first hand, waterworks do tend to be men's kryptonite. As for attention seeking women, the less seen of them, the better!Run if they come close to you!
@ Don Q
And imagine I thought all women were Oprah fans!
Captain save jembe!That one had me laughing all day!But I do feel you, you can only help someone who wants to be helped.
I will say it again, Damon Wayans is an idiot!

coldtusker said...

So could Michael Richards wear the clothes?

DW is being an idiot!

Aco - Couldn't listen to the song but you speak the TRUTH. I can't deal with these over & over again. I just wanna walk away!

As Kenny Rogers sung: You gotta know when to hold 'em, you gotta know when to fold 'em...

Girl next door said...

Oprah's words are not the gospel; it's just entertainment which I bet a lot of dudes secretly like :)

Guys do love fixing things, but women are complex. And you're right, they have an excellent memory!

I think guys who are put off by independent women may have some self-esteem/ego issues. Perhaps they could just offer their companionship instead of trying to be a superhero.

bantutu said...

That water-waxx stunt always gets me...So mi I just slide out like an eel explanations badae...Lakini some times you repair the burst tube too many time inafika point you just get a new one!!
That baldie is just as AKILI-less as he is NYWELE-less...aache u-nansens!!

gishungwa said...

i have always avoided capitan's i'd rather a man who shows me how to get it myself. Those are few but tis true too many women want to be "taken care of".
DW is a joke LOL
another one eh dadi

Prousette said...

Captain Okoa Jembe I think I like that name.
That is msiba wa kujiletea because you can only save the world so many times JC did it once and has not been seen this side again!

Lakini Aco Oprah does make sense some of the time but we need to hear it from the horse's mouths as well.

And operation scorched earth is lovely indeed if you are not on the receiving end.