Yet Another Monday......

Once again, I make my monthly appearance (I really need to do something about that).....

Anyway Thanksgiving has come and gone, that's usually the biggest holiday here in the States. Christmas is more commercial but when it comes to offices and stores not being open, thanksgiving trumps all other holidays. There were the usual Kenyan bashes but other than one where there was free entry before midnight, I gave them all a miss. There is no way on God's green earth that I am forking out $20 to go to a club when there is nothing special going on. Sadly for the bash that went to, the crowd was sparse and the DJs Kenyan music collection was stuck in the year 2004. Anyway it was a good reminder that clubbing is just a matter of technical appearances for me.

Over the years I have come to dislike the flying experience, this is not due to the flight itself but everything that comes before it. Case in point the airlines gouging you for every damn penny they can in the form of fees, other than a bag of peanuts when you fly; nothing is free with American airlines. You pay for every piece of baggage other than one carry on (and that may change), you pay to move the date of your flight (and in some cases can't), you pay if you want to check in early, you pay for earphones and the list goes on. Toss in the torturous security procedure courtesy of the TSA that now has people either being patted down like they stole something or having to walk through x-ray machines, and you have an all round fun experience. At this point, I think I'll stick to road trips, may take longer but less stress all around. If you ask me with all those changes, I do think the terrorists won....

I was watching this interesting news clip about the long term effects of views and extensions and thought I would share it below. Seems beauty can come at a steep price ladies!

Anyway this winter cold is not doing me much good at all! I'm off to hibernate....

Time Flies....

Yes I know it's been almost 2 months since I've been on here! I've been battling to stay above the waves of life, and by the way things are going so far; I'm not doing such a bad job.

In other news, the operating system on my pc crashed and I took bad advice from someone about getting it fixed and ended up losing 120 gb of music, lots of data and most of my pictures from the last 5 years. I know the lesson of the day is back up your data but when you have so much after a while you get sloppy about it. I had backed up a bit but a whole lot of stuff was lost. Oh and you know the ironic thing? The family member who gave me this advice, has a knack of giving me advice that bites me in the ass over and over again. If it wasn't for family loyalty, I would tell them to screw themselves in the ass. I am currently ignoring some advice they are offering me regarding certain issues I'm dealing with. Anyway, moving on.....

Hoarders is one of my most favorite shows on TV. It takes a close look at people who hoard ie stockpile loads and loads of things. The things differ from show to show, it can be canned food, clothes, books, video tapes, sports gear even animals! Anything and everything is fair game to hoarders. As an African the whole disorder is very interesting to me because, due to the lack of plenty and lack of space most people had no means to hoard even if they wanted to (correct me if you do know an African hoarder). In many cases the hoarding is actually triggered by a life event, one man started hoarding the same year his mother died, this was his way of dealing with it. His case was so bad that his house no longer had running water, he actually used to spend time in his car for refuge; but there is a Mental Disorders Specialist who comes in and helps the hoarders in the show confront and get over the disorder, it doesn't always work as some of them don't co-operate even if their homes and children are at stake (the government here will take your kids away from you if they are living in unfit conditions). If you can get a chance to watch it, I urge you to do so; it's a wonderful look into the human condition!

In other news, Lord Acolyte is dating. Much as companionship is a beautiful thing, it reminds me of why I have been single for so long and enjoyed it, even worse I now know why so many people opt not even to get married. You can get so used to having your own world to control as you please. Unless you are in a friends with benefits arrangement, that changes. Lets just say alot of interesting posts are coming your way, like the other day I did learn that the age old stereotype for men dating or even married bares weight, learn to say sorry even if you don't think or know you aren't or have nothing to be apologetic for. I now have an immense respect for married men! But I'm not being negative, it also has lots of pluses, more on that later.

Oh snap! Thanksgiving is round the corner. I'm going to pick a handful of these expensive and over hyped Kenyan bashes, go to one and then give my usual scathing review. Anyway let me start working on getting my blog mojo back.......

Spouses, Soccer and Other Things.....

Yes I know, I have been AWOL for a minute, so forgive my fragmented posting since it's been a while since I blogged.

So from what I gather from the EA Standard and the Daily Nation is that a large number of Kenyan women are so desperate for husbands that they have resorted to prayers.

It seems the single masses could not resist the call of the Pied Piper of Spouses, if the Nation is anything to go by;

As the heavens opened up, the enthusiastic women paid little attention to damage done to their hair and makeup in their attempt to outrun police who were trying to turn away the crowds from the already packed KICC plenary hall.

For several hours, business came to a standstill as police and security guards from the KICC and the Covenant Singles and Married Ministries struggled to keep the thousands of women at bay.

An excerpt from the article in the Standard

He (Pastor Chris Ojigbani) would show testimonies of women and men who claimed that they had received not one, but some as many as three marriage proposals in one day, after attending the said pastor’s conferences on marriage

Another snippet from the Nation

The man of the moment, Pastor Ojigbani, who preached for more than four hours on Friday, told his ecstatic audience: “Good men are not all taken. By the end of today, you will get your suitor … The spirit has told me that one of you by morning will have four suitors … Now, who will you choose?”

I wonder, have things gotten so bad for Kenyan women?! What happened to heeding the clarion call of independence from FIDA about oppressive backward Kenyan men. Weren't these same women the bunch that had Destiny's Child Independent Women as their theme song sometime back? I guess the joys of singlehood don't seem to be as cracked up as they seem to be? Or maybe we can blame society for making women think that life isn't complete without a husband?

I think another thing to blame is urbanization and Westernization. I mean the more urbanized we get, the less bonds you have with neighbours and family thus making it harder to meet the man of your dreams. Let's add the fact that many women nowadays are financially well off and will not marry a man who is doing the same or better than they are, which of course given the level of unemployment in Kenya cuts down on the pool of eligible bachelors big time.

Also let's keep it real, women sometime back realized that they could support themselves financially and have children without the extra burden of a man. While on the other hand men realized that they didn't need to get married to have kids, could hire help to clean/cook for them and with the break from tradition can sleep around with women without being expected to marry them. So for many men marriage just isn't a priority making it harder for the women who have dreams of a big white wedding.

From what I see, it seems that marriage seems to offer far more for the women than it does for the men, so I can understand women rushing to the "apostle" for proposals. I for one I'm sure he raked a good amount of offerings in exchange for his teachings. I wonder if he used Proverbs 31 in his teachings? Because one thing I like to ask women out there is that you may want to be a wife but are you really wife material? There is more to marriage than just a wedding and being called Mrs.

Alice Mwali, 27, purchasing and supplies professional

I would not mind getting someone to propose to me before the end of the service and even if I do not get one today, I hope it will be in the near future.

I am just smarting out of a relationship that lasted for about a year. I opted to leave the man because he could not trust me with anything.

Dear Alice, you are single, as a single woman if someone you are not dating or are familiar with would propose to you from out of the blue; you should be afraid, very afraid. Plus don't take so long next time to realize a man is not worth being with, you aren't getting any younger - Acolyte, Professional Curmudgeon and Agony Uncle

Real talk, there is nothing wrong with being single, embrace it and enjoy it! Ladies if all fails, they are always cats; the cats of Kenya could use some cat ladies.....

Moving on, I ran across these two hilarious videos on youtube.

It seems Mehment Scholl (the dude on the right in the video above) recently watched the video of Jessica Kastrop being nailed below. His flinch is nothing short of priceless!

I do think the dude who kicked the ball that hit the reporter's head must have been a sniper in a past life.

Speaking of women and sports, I think a post on the whole Ines Sainz saga is in order. Even if you aren't an NFL fan, it made for interesting reading.

ps: I didn't know that it took years to get a divorce in Kenya! For that reason alone, I'm going to really have to rethink this marriage thing. Imagine wanting out but the wheels of justice slowly grinding keeping you on lock?! I salute those sitting out their time!

Midweek Flashbacks and other stories...

I have the strangest flashbacks, and recently the image of a Staedtler pencil hopped into my head. I remember these were not the cheapest pencils so you kept them close. Also what you may not know unless you were an art student like me (ahem!) is that HB was the middle pencil in the scale. After that the you would move onto the H which meant the lead was harder so the pencil wrote lighter while on the other side were the B which meant the lead was softer so the pencil wrote darker. That there is my obscure fact of the day for you....

I knew nothing good would come of the shenanigans of Kim Kardashian! You see Laurence Fishburne's daughter, Montana came up with the bright idea that doing a sex tape like Kim Kardashian would give her the career (not that she has one) a major leg up. In the words of Lafayette of True Blood (best show ever) "Bitch have you done lost your mind?!" Her 19 year old self seems to forget the fact that Kim K actually ended fighting against the release of that tape and harsh as this may sound. White women and black women are viewed very differently in American eyes, you see white women are seen as pure and virginal (even though I know that's not true- dont ask how), that's another reason black dudes running around with white women makes some people's blood boil. While on the other hand black people are seen as oversexed, so when a white woman who isn't a porn star does a sex tape it's something people have to see, but when a black woman does a sex tape, it's seen as business as usual. Oh what's more ironic? She says she hears her dad is upset but that one day he will understand? Once again, you have lost your mind! I blame Kim K and I Sex and The City (yeah I said it!)

Oh I guess Laurence failed to keep his daughter off the pole as Chris Rock puts it below...

late edit- I see Montana did a rap video with her sex tape co-star (slightly nsfw). I guess it was a practice run? Let's hope she got those unsightly bruises on her butt taken care of. I won't even comment about the poor quality of the rhymes in that video!

Observations

I hear Wyclef may run to be president of Haiti, noble aim but dude politics is a dirty game, let it go!

So T.I married his long time or should I say long suffering girlfriend Miss Piggy I mean Tiny. He then got upset over twitpics of the wedding that have been floating around. I would too if my wife was wearing a dress that looked like it was stolen from a Mexican girl's Quinceanera. Before you think I'm a hater, go google those pics for yourself.

Obama just turned 49 it seems, ironic thing is that it seems like he came from nowhere. I think I should do some research and see what else he was doing other than being a Senator and community organizer. Maybe he was in the middle east getting indoctrinated or erasing his birth certificate and birth records in Kenya (Tea Party/Birther joke)

Anyway back to everyday life, later!!!!!

Guess Who's Back????

Damn it's been a while since I've been here! But ya'll know often blogging is like Hotel California.....you can check out, but you can never leave. That and the fact that I've been called out my absence!

So the WC is over, life back to normal till of course EPL and the other leagues get started. My main gripe with most American sports is that the game never flows, there is always a time out, end of quarter or a commercial break waiting in the wings to break up the flow. Anyway as this whole LeBron saga has shown, it's all about the $$$.

Onto other things, what in the world happened to the Joseph Hellon dude and Esther Arunga? Weren't they supposed to be on Larry King or something of the sort? I must say I miss the sheer entertainment that they had given us, over the months.

Also seems that there is a shifty online university from California going around "selling" honorary doctorate degrees to African leaders and politicians. To think I wasted my time going to classes and actually getting a job, I should have just started my own online college and flown from country to country selling degrees. I might just do that and call my university, Universal College; oh wait, that name's taken right?

Does anyone know what happened to itsneverthatserious.com? That was one of the most interesting Kenyan showbiz gossip blogs I had come across in a long time. If you know of any that are just as good and just dont kiss stars asses then by all means do share!

One of my chic pals is getting married so I have been drafted into a wedding committee. Yes, Acolyte himself is on a wedding committee, talk about irony! Well since my pal is somewhat scandalous her committee is like 95% men, that may change when the stragglers join us but I somewhat doubt it. I know some women find their fellow gender hard to get along with but when 90% of your pals are dudes, I think you can only blame other women so far.

Anyway time for me to get back on the grind......

Behold! Friday!

Damn it's been over a month since I have posted anything, I need to deal with that stat! Anyway as I get my mind pumping, I just thought I would share this video...

Sad as it is, I find that video hilarious since it casts satire on peoples' fear of black males. It also reminds me that my lazy ass hasn't been in the gym for a while!

So tomorrow is the last day of the week, wonderful since for 2 days I won't have to deal with the idiots I work with. I tell you if it weren't for the fact that I would go to jail and end up with a criminal record, I would give someone a throat chop. Oh and to my CEO for the last effing time! Control + V to paste since you seem to have trouble doing it with the mouse!

In other news, as of the 1st of June I begin my 6 month period of total celibacy. Sex lately isn't doing anything for me, waste of time and energy (and if you say I'm not doing it right, I'm going to kick you in the face). As people in the streets say "Imma do me" no pun intended. Of course this may put a crimp in dating since sooner or later the sex question comes up, so I won't bother with dating too. No strokes = no drama, that's what I think.

Anyway time for me to get some zzzzzzs in since I have to be at work in a few hours time.

Reason 242 dating American chics sucks - Claim to want to sample new ethnic meals then when you take them to an ethnic restaurant restaurant ie Ethiopian, they pic the item on the menu that is closest to American food ie Pasta or a sandwhich instead of of an ethnic item ie injeera. 2 thumbs down!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn Time Flies and Other Stories......

It has been almost one whole month since I blogged and in the words of the apple of Archer's eye, "this is a fucking disgrace!"

I can only blame laziness, work and twitter.

My birthday passed around 5 days ago, I was at a conference for work out of town so it was a day like any other. To be honest people around me seem to gather more joy from my birthday than I do, for me it's a good day for introspection and looking forward.

I read a report that came up with the statistic that 25% of men fake orgasms. I don't know the veracity of that number but it's an interesting double standard that men are expected to be up for sex and enjoy it at all times while on the other hand it's fine for women not to be up for sex at all times and if they don't enjoy it there are myriad reasons ranging from health,mental or their present relationship. I guess it's part of the over sexualization of society. But to be honest sex can become a chore leading to faking on both sides just to keep things smooth, so its up to both parties in the relationship to keep things fresh. I guess that's why I have mad respect for married people who can't keep their hands off each other. Anyway marriage is a beast of it's own.

I was listening to the radio this morning, and my favourite segment came on; it's the "help me solve my problems" segement. People write letters about their problems and send them in to get advice. So this dude calls in and says how he and his girlfriend have 3 kids, 1 each from past relationships and they had a kid in the last year. The dude is in school fulltime as he can't get work with the economy and the chic works part time. Regardless of their financial situation, the chic is going on about how she wants another baby, even though they have their hands full and cannot afford another one. Also due to their financial situation they can't afford the birth control injection, whatever you call it. Well dudes issue aside (I would go celibate in a heartbeat!), it's funny how the biological clock can kill all logic. I mean, you have your hands full, hardly any income and you still want a child?! WTF?! Children are work, cuteness doesn't pay for childcare,healthcare, food and clothing! If I had a chic and she started going on like that, I would suddenly develop "depression" and be unable to have sex for a very long time; I mean better to take no risks here, condoms have been known to be punctured sigh.

Anyway kids and marriage aside, I see the ash cloud that had Europe at a standstill seems to have lifted. I guess now people are aware of how much they depend on the flying to get around. At least in Europe they had the trains, bullet trains and ferries. Were the same to happen here, I can see total grid lock and chaos on the highways since the interstate train system here doesn't service all states equally and is a shell. Don't let me get started on local mass transit here, not only is it one hot mess, in many cities down here it is on the verge of shutting down due to budgetary constraints and the recession.

Anyway it's about time to get back on the grind and deal with people who have little if any comprehension skills, yes the kind of people you send an email and they call you the next day asking questions that were answered in that very same e-mail! That's why I hardly ever answer my phone or check voicemails at work, lazy bastards!


ps: there is a chic here in the office who has rolls on her back and is wearing a tight top, urgh! Someone needs to have 360 mirrors in their closet!

pps: I need True Blood and Dexter to come back on air asap! Life is not worth living without them.

Another Monday Is Here II.....

Thanks to work and twitter, I have been awol on my own blog (frowning face). But I'm sure you all know that you can't keep a good man down.

With that being said, last week or so one of the airlines out here proudly announced that in a bid to give better service that they are going to start charging for meals in economy class. Anyone who has the agony of flying local in the States will tell you how dealing with the airlines is like dealing with a bunch of schysters. You get charged for your luggage, you get charged to change your ticket if anything happens, you get charged for blankets, you get charged for earphones; with some of them you even get charged for using your credit card to pay for stuff. I guess the only "free" thing you get is your seat. Lets not forget that you have to be at the airport around 2 hours early for security check. I won't even start about people being held hostage in planes on the runway. Yes that is the fun of flying in the new decade of the new millennium.

Anyway that anti-capitalism rant aside, I read this story and just gave myself a face palm! Really! I mean you break down not one but two doors just to get into someone else's bed?! Also I think once you are over 30 (and Im being generous), you have no business going for a Jay-Z concert unless you are taking your nephew or niece, heck even Jay Z himself has no business performing nowadays to be honest!

Does anyone know where these Finger of God characters are? My last week moved by really slowly without their drama. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms! Now I know how women feel when they miss their Mexican soap operas.

Well it's about time for me to clock off from jobo but I wanted to share this video by Nneka, whose music I started listening to. I think it's more than possible to make music with deep lyrics yet listenable to at the same time...




Have a nice day all!

Sex, Suing, Slashing, Shooting and Shows....

As always I have to share good things I find online. This ad here is a PSA about safe sex. It's a bit hard to find the message when you have to sift through all that trash the dudes are saying (yes ladies some of your boyfriends sound like this in your absence).



I think the ad below is a far better one.



That reminds me, there is nothing that is more of a libido killer for me than the sound of a crying child. Maybe I could get a tape of a crying child and use it to condition myself to stay celibate the same way Pavlov conditioned his dogs.

Speaking of children I see in the Kenyan papers, our friend Esther is going to sue her parents and the therapist they took her to for 300 million shillings, I understand her motivation but please pick an earthly number so as not to waste the court's time. Also even if you were wronged, whatever happened to honoring your mother and father? Anyway I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show.

I watched Ninja Assassin and I must admit that it has been sometime since I have watched a movie that was that wonderfully mindless. The plot was watchable but the choreography and gore was indeed a work of art. I highly recommend it as a lazy Saturday afternoon movie, yes I can never claim to be Ebert but I stand by my review!

That reminds me, speaking of marriage; this story has to take the cake. Not only did this woman murder her husband (20 years her junior) after 5 days of marriage, she is a lobbyist for a group that fights domestic violence! Talk about doing a full 180 degree turn. It's like being a policeman during the day and then one night you decide to turn bank robber, oh wait that sounds familiar; I just can't place it. Irony is that when it comes to guns, you are more likely to be shot by someone you know than someone you don't know.

A close friend of mine calls me a lover of all things British since I often voice my boredom regarding American things to her. One of the things that bores me about American tv is the hunger for ratings above all else. I have seen promising programmes be cancelled because they did not gather enough ratings in enough time ie Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, and on the other hand I have seen some shows needlessly extend since they were popular, Prison Break anyone? That damn show should have ended once they broke out. What I like about British tv is that programs are made to run for a certain amount of time ie 2 seasons, no extension no matter how popular they are. A formula the stations that run Heroes and Lost should have listened to. Anyway I'll turn my tv back on when True Blood, Dexter and V return to the screen.

With that being said TGIF and have a fun weekend!

Touched By The Finger......

Well unless you aren't Kenyan or live under a rock somewhere, you may be aware of the fire that is raging on the internets and on people's lips about. I'll save myself some keystrokes and post a video from K24 down here about the whole Esther Arunga and the Finger of God church. The story is on its own level, it could be made into a movie! You have the powers of good and evil, human sacrifice, human traffickers, a cult, accusations of brainwashing and other things. I'll let you watch the video to get the back story then I'll give my opinion.

So now we are all caught up on the gist of what went down. The plot only thickened when Esther Arunga decided to give a no holds barred interview with former CNN reporter Jeff Koinange. If you havent watched the series, I have linked to part 1 below.

Now come my series of hard questions and thoughts regarding this whole issue.

1. KTN Resignation - Maybe I missed it, but Esther didn't give a good reason why she left her job at KTN. I have known of people who have left promising jobs and careers in the name of the "ministry" only for many of these ministries to crash and burn and for them to be left with destroyed careers, burnt bridges and whole years of their lives wasted. I know a lawyer who did this and nowadays he is one of the most cynical and bitter people you can come across. If you read the Bible you will note many examples of God working through people in whatever professions they are in. Yes I agree that you can get the call to go into ministry but not everyone gets that call or is cut out for it.

2. Benny Hinn Spiritual Father - So in the news conference Joseph Hellon went ahead and claimed that Benny Hinn was his spiritual father and had been sending him tapes and sermon. There is only one spiritual father someone should have, God; nobody else! Other accounts had him saying that when he preaches it is Benny Hinn speaking, I have a name for that term; it's called channeling which in itself is not the most christian practices by any means. Then of course comes to most glaring thing, it seems all the "prophecies" he was getting were via e-mail which proved to be fake when Benny Hinn's ministries disowned him. So my question is, you call someone your spiritual father and have never spoken to him on phone or met him in the 7 years your relationship has existed?! That's either blind faith or stupidity? Why do I think that Quincy or someone else set up bennyhinn@hotmail.com and was emailing Hellon alongside ordering tapes and materials for him online?

3. Freemason this, Freemason that - Well as we saw via the K-24 interview Esther claims that Freemasons are out for her neck. It seems she is in possession of some hot information. She claims her ex-fiancee is one of them and a human traffiker to boot. Well my question is would a member of a secretive and illicit organisation leave information in the open for anyone to discover so easily? Also after a failed attempt on your life would a member from that organisation contact you and tell you they were trying to eliminate you? I'm not saying that Freemasons don't exist and they dont have gray area regarding what they do but on the other hand they won't make unearthing things about them very easy, after all they are several hundred years old. At the end of the day it just seems that Esther and co are just rustling the wrong feathers.

4. Cry for Help? - Is it me or did Esther several times during the interview on K24 seem to be hinting to Jeff to get her a job with the tv station? She recently quit your job with one tv station, I think the only reason she would be dropping such hints is somehow she now realizes the gravity of the decision she made by leaving her old job. Sadly I doubt she had anyone round her to sound off that decision with and ended up jumping before looking. Plus did anyone notice how riddled with contradictions her story is, did she leave her ex-fiancee because he was trying to get other women in church, or because he was a freemason. Also why would he want to "sacrifice" her if they were to get married? The sad thing though is that when someone is in a questionable church, it's like dealing with a drug addict, unless they can admit they have a problem they wont accept any help at all.

5. President Hellon? - If the announcement of a Presidential bid isn't a joke, then I don't know what is. From the Bible that I read, I dont know if Hellon reads the same one; but mine has a verse that says God is a God of order. I'm sorry but you aren't going to come in as a dark horse and run off with the Presidential election, I think he needs to aim low like counselor or something like that and then work his way up.

Okay all those organised questions aside, why the hell don't people read their bibles?! We wouldn't have half of these cult problems if people read their bibles, you would be shocked at how many people that call themselves Christians that don't read their bibles, I once quoted a verse from one of the smaller books in the bible, I think it was Habakkuk and this chic wanted to argue with me about not only the verse but the very existence of the book of Habakkuk. You should have seen the expression on her face when I showed her the book and the verse. Im not a Bible guru by any means but if you are a Christian then its your responsibility to strive to know the book backwards so that some schyster wont be in your face telling you how its God's will for you to give him all that you own and let him have sex with your wife.

While I'm putting people on blast, what is this hullabaloo about the fact that people in Hellon's church drink wine? There is nothing in the bible about not drinking, it's being drunk that's the problem. But what do holy rollers do? They rail against all alcohol, well if we are going to go against alcohol since it can make you get drunk, I suggest no eating. Why? Eating can lead to gluttony. I propose the same for sex too, no sex for Christians since it can lead to lust. It's this lack of control that lead to wonderful songs like the one below, that help you keep your Christian life on the straight and narrow.

With all that being said, do I approve of the arrest of Joseph Hellon and Esther Arunga? If it's for breaking the law ie being members of an unlawful society (as they were charged), all well and good; but if its for talking too much and shaking the wrong bushes? Not at all because funny enough people stop talking if you dont draw attention to what they are saying. Anyway I do plan to keep my eyes and ears open for other developments. Also to my Christian brethren, I've got love for most of you; just that some of you drive me up the wall!

Cock Blocking, Cheating, and other stories

First and foremost, I have to share the funniest thing I have watched in a long time. Welcome to the Cock Blocking series!

I have never laughed like this in a while I must say. Youtube really has some jewels once you sift through the chaff. I do recall posting a long time back about this chic pal of mine whom I used to hang out with that used to always introduce me to dudes but never ever to the chics she knew, talk about subtle cock blocking.

Anyway moving on, the U.S education system for the most part is very test/exam oriented. States each have their own mandated tests they have students take per year, its by these tests that they can tell if the education system is any good. For any principal to have your school ranked as a failing school would mean less funds, increased oversight,no annual bonus, loss of future job opportunities and if it goes on long enough termination; because after all if most of your students are failing then you have no business teaching. Some schools have been on the failing schools list for sometime, so some teachers and principals decided on a move that would make some 8-4-4 teachers proud. Staff in 74 schools got hold of the tests their students did and went ahead and changed the answers from the wrong ones to the right ones; thus ensuring passing grades for their students. Of course the teachers who take the students on the following year end up realizing there is a problem when a student who had a passing grade in english can't read for squat? So how were they busted? Well whether we like it or not, statistics never lie, you can't have a failing school do a 180 degree turn in a year or less, progress is very gradual then add to the fact that the average student may change 2-3 answers on a 40 question paper but never 27-30 as was in the case in numerous papers checked coming from the schools under investigations. There was one school where a teacher gave the answers to a student before the test. Anyway what am I going on about here, oh now I remember. This emphasis on exams/tests at the expense of learning doesn't do students much good in the long run because all you churn out is a whole bunch of trained test takers; nothing else! Here is the greatest irony, here if many of your students fail; that makes you a bad teacher while I remember in Kenya how I used to have teachers and professors who would proclaim with such glee about how many students fail their tests. Talk about irony!

Okay PSA messages aside, this video below just left me speechless.....



Btw, how did the camera man know that they would start fighting because he was taping before the fight even started! I once knew this chic who said that she gets turned on whenever two men fight over her, let's just say if we were kicking it; she would be one frigid woman.

While I'm all over the place do you know I have never ever seen a urinal like the one below in the States?



I guess part of it would be due to the culture of individuality people have going on over here, that and of course the fact that sexuality is a big thing here. Nobody wants to take the risk that the dude next to you is checking you out as you do your thing. Hilarious how everyday things take on such different significance in other cultures and places.

Anyway back to everyday life, see you next week or on twitter!

Another Hump Day Passes...

Nothing warms my heart as much as the vids you find on the internet!This video below never ceases to crack me up. The chic was a great sport and was even interviewed about it, plus whoever kicked the ball also apologized to her after the game.Hilarious as ever though!

Moving on, its really interesting how the people of Egypt decided to stand up for their rights. I guess you can sit on the will of the people for only so long before they rise up. I do think more Arab countries should be open to the concept of free and fair elections or at least something close to it. I'll keep my eyes open even though they are trying their best to kill the free media showing whats going on in Cairo and the rest of the country.

Dear Archer and all other Chelski fans, you can have Fernando Torres; may he spend twice the amount of time injured that he did for us - Liverpool Fan.

Also to my dear single brothers or to those in Friends With Benefits scenarios, you don't know how good you have it, please treasure those arrangements and never take them forgranted!

Humpday has me tired out, so adios people!

Sometimes words fail me among other things......

Sometimes with my waning faith and interest in the human race, I think I am better off in some subterranean hideaway where I have everything I need and only come out once in a while to interact with the human race. Why do I say this? Just a few things here and there I have noticed.

There are these 2 sad incidents, the first being a family friend who was shot thugs in what seems to have been an assassination since nothing was stolen from him (that's my hypothesis). I know two wrongs don't make a right but I hope those thugs and whoever hired them die a slow and painful death. There there was this story of the Kenya Airways pilot (whom I didn't know personally) who was killed by thugs when his car stalled at the notorious Uhuru Highway roundabout that has been making rounds on the internets. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that both families are going through.

It's sad that the more we "progress" as human beings the lower we regress. Animals kill to survive or feed while human beings kill on the other hand kill for any unfathomable reason that comes to mind. Be it jealousy, greed for property or whatever other reason, killing someone won't get rid of the issue that led to those sensations. It's hard to be coherent given the contempt I have for those involved.

Reading those stories basically makes all the other things I'm going to mention seem trival in comparison but I shall still share them......

My brother often accuses me of being nostalgic and archaic, at times when I look at how people act; I have to agree. I may have mentioned this on twitter but as I work with people outside my organization, it seems that people have lost the abilities of reading and comprehension. I often want to tear my hair out when I send people a link to information on our organization's website (homepage no less!) and these same individuals call or email me asking me for that SAME information! It's even worse when you email people information, and they email you a week later or call you asking for that same information!!! I have taken to forwarding previously sent e-mails and resisting the temptation to cuss people out on the phone, in fact half the time I let my phone go to voice-mail and answer their voice-mail with email. As you can tell, I don't suffer fools lightly!

I have been talking to some of my lady friends in the past weeks and many of them are going on about how their friends are getting engage or married, and of course wanting to be in the same situation. I struggle to understand the lure of settling down for many women today. You see unlike the past, most women are economically independent; so there is no need for a man to take care of them. Add to this women don't even need to have a husband to have children, all they need to do is do the deed and keep it moving, society doesn't even look down on single mothers as much as it used to. On the other hand though I can understand the lure of stability, having someone there and the prestige that comes with being called "Mrs XYZ..."

With that being said, a large number of marriages here break down due to the fact that many women have the expectation that once they get married, everything will be alright. I have had a chic say this to my face, "once I find the right person, I know things in life will be easier to deal with." I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. The poor bastid who marries this girl will be responsible for her happiness and success in life. I'm sorry to say this, but if you can't be happy with your life alone, then there is no way it's going to be happy with someone else you need to be able to appreciate your life alone with its flaws before inviting someone else in. And that's it for the Dr Acolyte relationship hour......

This is going to lead into a longer more detailed post that I am working but based on some recent experiences, I have realized that the American healthcare system is a one hot steaming mess! I will expound on that once I put my thoughts and experiences down in an organized manner. Now back to real life!

Behold! I Have Returned.....Again

I have decided to reclaim blogging from tweeting. Tweeting is all well and good but I think I have blogged about




I watched this video and I think an important issue needs to be addressed. Who in the hell is the "bride's" stylist?! That blouse and skirt are clashing violently! Would it have hurt for him to have put on some foundation, eye shadow or at least done something with his hair before they came to court? I am going to begin a campaign to send some drag queens from here down to Malawi to set them up right! Im a stern adherent of the fact that if you are going to do something, you may as well go all the way and not half way! Sorry if you were expecting a long polemic about the lgbt plight in Africa.

Have I made any firm New Year's resolutions? Not really, I just plan to make more money and be more positive since I can be a cynic. Oh and I have asked the powers to be for one small thing, to send me a woman that can make me laugh. I know that sounds silly but to be honest it has been eons since I have met one who can, sigh. I guess what makes things harder is this hybrid sense of humour that I have, there is nothing as boring when you have to be the source of mirth and amusement in a relationship I tell you.

In other news, a cousin of mine came visiting and brought treats from home! Tusker (which I can get here but not same quality) and Kenya Cane (hello hangovers!) among other things. What sucks though is that he is here around winter time when I generally do not like to leave the house other than to go to work or to the gym, that and the fact that there arent too many nice outdoorsy type events going on. I'm sure I shall find places to take him after I rouse myself out of my winter hibernation.

Now before I go get some rest, someone give Rod Blagojevich a dunce cap and make him sit in the corner. How in the world do you say you are blacker than Obama?! Sheesh, we are just lucky the man doesnt have a twitter account or he would be putting his foot in his mouth all day long!

Anyway here's to keeping your feet out your mouth and a happy 2010!