Sticky Situation and Vanishing Vitality

The other day I was in a bit of a pickle, you see I was telling an American friend about how in Kenya with the older generation (and maybe some of the younger ones) how due to the proliferation of christianity and westernisation polygamy as an established tradition has been dying down since Independance; but how as a result mistresses/second wives and families have taken root. We have all seen that whenever some public figures pass away how unheard of wives and parallel families crawl out of the woodwork.

So predictably I was asked, "Why don't these men divorce their wives and be with these other women?" I did tell her that over time this has been happening even though unlike in the States many of these first wives are left destitute by their estranged husbands but what used to happen was the man would just take up with his second wife if they decided to part ways but he would still take care of his first wife and she would still be seen as part of his family. I also did point out that for sometime divorce has carried alot of stigma in Africa, and it is also hard for a divorced woman in Africa to remarry but I do think that this is changing in Kenya. Lest I forget there is also this belief that when a woman is married by her first husband in many tribes they are inextricably linked and even if she passes away he still has claim to her body.

Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself here. Do any of you think that this business of parallel wives will die out anytime soon (even though I do recall reading an article in the Nation where quite a few women were ready to be second wives)? This second wives business is different from the humping around that men do, so as to make things clear. And for your information I would not have more than one wife (isn't bigamy a crime in Kenya?), one wife is enough responsibility and besides wasichana wa siku hizi ni watukutu sana!

Moving on, where did I used to get energy from? For the last few days I have been getting 5-6 hours of sleep and I really feel it the next day whenever the afternoon rolls by. A few years back it was the complete opposite. I remember the days when I would meet my pals in the afternoon to watch a U.K premiership match in a bar after which of course we would get to drinking, socialising bar hopping, roast some nyama choma (depending on where we were) do some more bar hopping if the joint was boring and go home early Sunday morning (that is if we didn't make a visit to Topaz). And after all that I would be good to go after just 3-4 hours of sleep, that is if i didn't have a hangover. Rest assured that if I went a on a bender that long tonight I would be out for at least half of the next day or as I call it I.C.U. I once remember 2 years or so back when my powers began to fade, I went out as usual and early the next morning I was supposed to drop someone to catch a bus upcountry. So I came home directly from the pub, took the person to the bus and since it was early morning I got a brainwave. I decided that I might as well go for the early service at church. I walked in just as praise and worship had ended and since most of the church was empty I got a pew to myself. I listened to the first few minutes of what sounded like a very enlightened sermon until all of a sudden due to the residual alcohol in my system my body failed to register how hard the pew was and the veil of sleep slowly descended. What made me wake up was the sound of the closing hymn and the burning sensation in my back as the lady sitting in the pew behind me glared at me. Needless to say that was the last attempt I made at going to church from the club. Stop laughing at me! I know you have all been guilty at one time or another!

Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

Most of you would answer a resounding yes to this question on most sunny days but when things go wrong I am sure the answer would change. Their is this dude who I met via a mutual friend who is learning that the hard way. He graduated from my Uni like a year ago, has just bought a house of his own and is slowly getting established at work. When he was in Uni he was a member of a fraternity and I got the impression that he was a bit of a man about town. Anyway his small brothers were in town visiting him and he was playing a game of basketball with them when he tore his tendon (I think I may have mentioned this is another post) anyway so now he ended up being immobile.
So of course what he needs at this time are his good pals to check in and pick up the slack before the fam checks in. He was stabilised in the local hospital and had to be taken to the next town 40 mins away the next day for his operation. His frat brothers and my pal were told that by the Doc and the reaction was interesting, one dude who had just popped in to see him when he heard that and people looked at him was like, "Whoa wait a minute......" and gave a lame excuse (the reality was he had left some chics in his house and had business to conclude), the other frat brother said he had to leave town the next day early in the morning and the other dude was inaccesible. Luckily the dude's mum popped in the next day and took him there.
After the operation things really didnt change, it was my pal who was doing most of the stuff; from picking up his meds, giving his small bros a ride to the bus station, making sure his house was comfortable/accesible for someone in his condition (while his big brother watched TV) and calling the dude's workplace about applying for short term disability. My pal has an open heart but I told her that enough is enough and this time she listened, the dude's pals were doing nothing and for the longest time his family looked at her to do things that they should be doing, acknowledging it but not picking up the slack at all. But the bright side of this is that the injured dude started thinking long and hard about who his real friends are because when he was injured the people who stepped up were few and far between. Anyway it just went on to reflect my thought about people, not everyone who laughs with you is your friend. That is why I keep my circle very small, to people who I can trust and rely on; I have no time for fairweather friends at all!

Moving on! I was on the BBC website when I came across this disturbing piece. I know it is a dog eat dog world in Nigeria but now it is a man eat dog world there too. Yes I know that people in Asia (Korea) eat dogs too but it is still gross and very unhealthy (there is a reason people don't eat the meat from predators regularly). Plus you all know I am a dog lover so this story just rubs me the wrong way!

Now I know why Jerry Falwell was going apoplectic over the Teletubbies!



Well done lads! Barcelona's down, who's next?

My Take On the Nation Media Group Scandal

Unless you were living under a rock somewhere I am sure you are all aware the the much awaited Nation Media Group expose is out, if you want to read it; here is the blog.

My opinion? I do think that the post could have been written in a more coherent matter, it does have some typos and seems to ramble on at some points. But I do think that alot of what was written there is true and needs to be addressed.

Some people have said that this is the work of disgruntled employees. Well first things first, I dare you to work your ass for peanuts and not be promoted or get a raise, while your bosses do as little as possible and keep on reviewing their salaries upwards and not be disgruntled. I dare you as a young woman to apply for a job/internship/promotion, be denied because you didn't sleep with your superior and not be disgruntled. I dare you to be denied a promotion or a raise because you are not in the right tribe and not disgruntled! Of course this the work of people who have been downtrodden and yes there may be some malice in their but alot of what has been posted there is the truth. Ask a blogger like Kenyananalyst about his tribulations trying to get a foot into a Kenyan print media house or any other budding journalist, he is not the only person that I know who has had to try and move the earth to get a foot in the right way and won't be the last.


There are 2 sides to every story that is true but since the powers that be believe that there is no story, I don't think we'll hear their side because according to them they have nothing to answer for. Will this scandal every hit the mainstream press? Of course not! Because we all know that unless there is a rift like when Nation were spoofing Kenya Times and in return Kenya Times reported on the Nation employee who was busted by cops engaging in "un-natural acts" with another man, this story will not see the light of day. The alternative (gutter) press publication that had printed part 1 was bribed not to print part 2. Don't you all think that if the claims were without merit the publication would have been sued by the Nation Media Group instead of bribed?

I did read in the comments section of that blog someone asking for evidence. A good question I agree but when it comes to matters of sexual harassment, evidence is hard to come by. Few people tape their phonecalls, save every voicemail, save chats, tape conversations and take pictures of themselves in bed with their bosses. Misuse of power for sexual favor and sexual harassment cases are usually very hard to prove. That is one reason why many of these accusations are on shaky ground apart from one commentor who said he has pictures taken by a private detective.

Then there were the people who commented and said that the people who are making these accusations should follow their principles and quit working at the company. A nice suggestion in theory but it doesnt stop what is going on or solve the problem. Add to this the fact that there are only 2 major print publications (we have no long lasting magazines in Kenya) where specialised journalism skills are needed and paid for. So outing yourself may lead to your being black listed and your skills rotting away at home. So outing themselves at this point in time isn't the most pragmatic thing to do.

I also do admit that in a large organization there are always cases of consensual sex among adults, but this doesn't give the bosses carte blanche to turn the company into some sort of bordello and restrict favors and promotions to those who service them. Anyway I think I have done enough blithering, let me wrap this up.

To be honest from what I know and have heard this kind of rot isn't confined to Nation Media Group; it is happening in other media houses on differing levels and other large corporations that are household names. At the end of the day the Nation Media Group fashions itself as the moral watchdog of the people so I think at the end of the day those who work there should be kept to these same principles they want to uphold Kenyans to. But will this happen? I really don't think so.

Drama Post 7

I have done 4 draft posts today which had nothing to do with the drama post but the Gods of blogging won't let me finish until I get the Drama Post out of my system. So here it is, you'd better enjoy it or I'll be cracking heads!

Kendi sat in her cousin's car and remembered her upcoming appointment with Dr Patel, for a small fee he would be able to buy her some time. She didn't have much money left but at least she would be able to get a way out of her current predicament. Since she was not going to be in town much longer she told her cousin to drive her to Linda's place. She didn't know Linda very well but they had a cordial relationship and it wouldn't hurt to say hello.

Linda and Mary stared at each other wondering what they would have to do. Linda was not seeing her sharing a bed with Mary at all, she always thought Mary's hygiene was suspect and from what she had heard that some girls do when alone in bed with others; she wasn't taking any risks. She considered calling on of her church friends to come over and take Mary to Walmart where she could buy something to sleep on when she head a knock on the door. She asked whoever it was to come in and noticed it was Kendi. One thoughts came to her which wasn't very pleasing, she hoped that Kendi didn't want a favour from her like spending the night; one guest was more than enough. Linda looked closer at Kendi and noticed how tired she looked and loosened up. They exchanged niceties and it seemed that she just wanted to say hello before leaving town for a while, it was then that the thought hit her; maybe she could give Mary a ride to Walmart. She asked Kendi if that was possible and she agreed. They left leaving Linda clearing the sitting room floor for Mary.

An hour later Mary walked into the house with Kendi helping her with her shopping; they were almost overwhelmed by the shopping bags they were carrying. Mary put down the bag she had a pulled out the airbed she had bought from the store and plugged it into the power outlet while Kendi helped put the food that Mary had bought into the freezer. Looking at the sheer amount of food that was being stuffed into the fridge Linda began to think that Mary's stay was going to be longer than she initially requested. She decided not to think to hard about it as she escorted Kendi outside to her cousin's car, went back in and entered her room leaving Mary getting comfortable in her new airbed.

8 or so hours later Kamau woke up with an aching neck and an equally irritated back. He made his way to the washroom in the clubhouse where he brushed his teeth and freshened up, making himself look as fresh as possible. He stepped out into the cool morning air and waited for the shuttle back to the main campus. After what seemed to be a long 15 minutes the Shuttle arrived, Kamau lugged his bag in and took a seat among the other students who had early classes. He laid back on the seat and began to think about where he would stay. He hadn't gotten a job yet and still had fees to pay, it also didn't help that he did not know too many of the other international students. His reverie was interrupted by the sounds of hissing brakes as the Shuttle stopped outstide Main Campus. Kamau disembarked and walked slowly to his class with his bag weighing him down.

At that same time Mary felt like she was sleeping on air which made sense when she realised she was sleeping on an airbed. She turned and looked at her alarm clock, it was 8 am; she knew she didnt have a class till late afternoon so she was in no rush whatsoever. As she pondered what she would do with her time, Lily came out of her room dressed in the usual Uni student wear of a jeans and a t-shirt. Mary said good morning and was anwered by a barely audible grunt, it was obvious to her that someone was not a morning person; Lily took a tub of yoghurt out of the fridge and appeared to be in a rush to leave and all of a sudden turned and looked at Mary.
"When are you going to start looking for an apartment?" she asked.

"Er, today before I go to class, " Mary replied, shocked at how fast the welcome mat was being pulled from under her feet.

"Sawa," Lily replied as she walked out of the front door.

A few minutes later Linda walked out of her room into the kitchen part of the house and made herself a quick cup of coffee. She asked Mary how her night was and what her plans were, like Lily she also enquired about her housing prospects; Mary fended her off by telling her that she was going to start as soon as possible. Linda seemed glad on hearing that news and before leaving told Mary that she had left her room open so that she could watch some cable there before she left to search for an apartment and to go to class.

A few hundred miles away Kendi convinced her cousin to take her to see Dr Patel. Her cousin didn't want to go to that part of downtown Atlanta but she talked her into it after 30 minutes of pleading. The directions for the Doctor's office had them drive past the swanky parts of midtown Atlanta and into the seedier rundown parts of Atlanta where tax payers money allocated to urban renewal seemed to have as much effect as trying to drown a fish. They pulled up outside a grimy 3 story building, Kendi asked her cousin if she was coming out of the car. Kendi's cousin's eyes darted back and forth looking at the foreboding environment full of seemingly destitute characters and she told Kendi that she would wait for her in the car. Kendi rushed up the steps into the building. She looked at the buildings directory and struggled to read it as it was barely legible but it confirmed what she already knew after talking to the Doctor, his office was on the third floor. She looked for the lift and pressed the button, after that she could hear the mechanism that pulled and dropped the lift wheezing and grinding, after a furtive minute the lift's doors opened. Kendi was about to step into it when a sharp smell assaulted her sinuses, it seemed that someone had decided to use the lift as a urinal. When she remembered the bums she saw sitting outside the building she was not surprised at all, she stepped back and found the staircase and sprinted up three steps at a time.

Back in the 'ville Mary decided to step out of the luxury of her new airbed and watch tv in Linda's room. She opened the door and was amazed at how neat and orderly the room was. She looked at the desk and noticed copies of Daily Bread, The Prayer of Jabez, The King James Bible and other devotional material, those books reminded her of her mother who was very religous but not always logical as a result. She sat on the bedspread and turned on the tv and took the cable box remote control and began to flick through the channels, she surfed the channels over and over and noticed that there was not much to see, she decided to check the TV guide. She wasn't that familiar with cable as Mvaite would never let go of his remote control. She began scrolling down into the 3 digit channels on the list, she had once seen Aco and Mvaite look at the description of one of those channels and go into discussion. It seemed Mvaite wanted to watch the channel but Aco told him it wasn't free and that if he wanted to watch that movie he could watch something like it for free online or do it himself. She had no idea what Aco's last statement was but her interest had been piqued at that point in time, so she scrolled down towards the movie she recalled them talking about, it was the Spice Channel, the movie that was showing was called Debbie Does Hollywood. The blurb described the movie as a story of a young girld who decides to make her way up Hollywood whichever way possible and was rated Adults Only, she knew she was over 18 so that wasn't an issue for her. She pressed the watch button, it asked her if she wanted to buy the movie for only $15.99, she thought to herself and was sure that Linda and Lily wouldnt mind her being entertained, so she pressed yes and sat down to watch the movie.

Kendi walked into the Doctor's office into the reception. The office was small but better kept than the rest of the building, seated on a table at the end of the room was the receptionist, a busty blonde with very long fingernails she was filing as she yakked away on the phone. She looked up and asked Kendi what she wanted, when she replied that she had an appointment with Dr Patel, she was gestured to enter and the secretary continued her animated conversation. Kendi knocked on the door and heard a distinctively Indian sounding voice telling her to come in, she entered the office and the Doctor sat up from his chair to say hello. He was a slightly short and stocky man with dark brown skin and small moustache.

"Ah, so you have come at last" he told her after confirming who she was.

"Yes, I made it" she replied, wishing that this could end fast.

"Vell you know this is going to be expensive and not wery many doctors agree to do this," he said looking at her up and down with his eyes hovering over her chest, "Tell me exactly vhat you vant me to do then"

Kendi took a deep breath knowing that she was taking a risk but risks had to be taken when you had as much at stake as she had. She looked at the doctor and began to tell him exactly what she needed.

Part 8! What are Kamau's plans as regards accomodation? When is Mary going to find a new place to stay? What is she watching on Linda's tv? What is Kendi going to ask Doctor Patel to do? Be here next week!

Predators, Fabulous French Fries and Faster

I was watching To Catch A Predator yesterday and some interesting thoughts came to mind. When most people think of child molestors, we often think of some dirty, smelly and shifty homeless person (often of color), but when I watch this show the men who are busted are anything but that. You get all sorts being caught in the dragnet; policemen, military personell, IT professionals, businessmen, rabbis and even teachers.

The sad thing is that since these men go online and solicit minors and even show up for the "dates" means that there is the possibility that some of them have done it before and have gotten away with it. Disgusting isn't it, what's worse is that some of these men even have children of their own. I mean don't these people think? I mean if you have the morals of a rock then they should at least be logical and think what they are putting at stake; career, family, jail time etc?

Then for some reason Kapur and Shah never miss out. Someone once told me that Asians can be morally reprobate and I dismissed him for the post part till I noticed that those peeps never fail to feature among the accused despite the fact they make up a very small minority of the population. In the last episode they busted this dude from Nepal who was a teacher, his excuse? "I was coming to tell her that it was wrong to do this" yes and why did you have condoms in your pocket then? Needless to say after being arrested and tried, his case was handed to INS. Anyway that is a whole bunch of sick and stupid individuals, they do make for fun TV though.

Is there any blogger out there who lives near Mada? If so could you please go to the fries joint that is at the shopping centre and have a pack on me. I was interning today and since I had no lunch those fries came into my mind. I don't know if the joint is still open but that joint had some of the best fries in Nairobi and their bajias weren't bad at all. It took me coming to the States to realise how good we had it in Kenya as regards junk food.

Anyway here is another story about my insane pals in Uni when I was in Kenya. During the gold rush (scramble for freshmen) one of my pals managed to snag a young mama and after some sweet talking, he talked her into giving it up. The dudes room was next to his pals room, who was there with the boys when he was getting it on. So anyway when things were getting hot and heavy it seemed that the dude wasn't moving at her usual pace, so she started shouting, "faster, faster, faster!!!!!" Of course her voice seeped into the next room, and from that day on, behind her back her nick name was faster. Yes, I went to uni with alot of interesting people. Anyway back to my humdrum existance over here and drafting the next installment of the drama post.....