Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Chaste Life.....

Remember one of my New Year's resolutions was to go undergo a period of chastity?Well I have been doing it for some time but I decided that I would not blog about it till I got to the double figure digit in days passed.My vow also included no downshifting,polishing the rocket,spanking the monkey; you know what I'm saying.The interesting thing is that when I put my mind to stop doing something most of the time I can.So that was no big deal.But this vow has led me to notice some interesting things.
Firstly I started getting up at 6a.m every morning.This did come in handy so I could do yoga with the folks on Oxygen every morning but what wasn't nice is when I used to being nodding off at noon.Thank God for last week's hangover that rebooted my biological clock so now I am back to getting up at 7a.m.
My dream life has never been so vivid!And no there are no sex dreams!My journies in the idyllic realm range from childhood memories,the future,people who I had forgotten about and of course the flying dreams (sometimes with wings and sometimes under my own power-I fly in style!)
Then strangely enough I am getting along great with women now.I spent most of Sunday hanging out at some gal's apartment and she even invited me to go on a trip with her and her pals.There is this other gal who works in one of the offices who has taken a liking to me and also that lecturer from last sem whom I had taken a liking to asked me out for lunch this week (no hanky panky here coz when I went to see here last and she was talking to her hubby she told him that I had popped in).So is there something ethereal about chastity that makes a man more appealing?Not that I have told any of them that.
Oh I now go to the gym 4 times a week.I have a metabolism that if I could sell to ladies I would make a million bucks.First of all I had to eat American food to put on weight and a diet with lots of junk and sweets only gave me an extra 10 pounds.I have always had problems gaining weight.When I do gain weight it is then shed like water off a duck's back when I start going to a gym or some martial art.I recall a pair of shorts becoming baggy 2 weeks into muay thai classes.The only problem with not being able to gain and keep weight without being an eating machine is that after 2 weeks in teh gym I start looking like this (still working on getting the abs!)



So Ms K and Guess since you are gathering psyke to go to the gym why don't we all go together and then after that you can take me to the local take out joint so I can go replenish the calories that I have burnt?Who said not having sex couldn't be fun (Mutumia stop slinking in your seat I can see you!)

19 comments:

Keguro said...

Hubris.

Hubris you skinny *(*$*(*%@#&@$

I hate skinny people who don't have to work for it. That's legitimate.

Wait until the itching starts, and it will. It will. It will.

But you've only given yourself a month (unless that's changed) so maybe you'll get away.

I need to get back on the skinny plan.

Acolyte said...

@ Keguro
Don't hate me coz I'm lean!Well at the moment no itching or scratching.This is so much fun that I am going to extend it once the month passes!

Farmgal said...

well I hope you can keep that resolution. Its not as difficult as men make it out to be.
and stop flossing your lean body, especially now that I have a few pounds to shade.

Whispering Inn said...

Now why do you want to do that? No sex? And you're hanging around mucho women? I think we need to start counting down to your downfall. LOL! Be afraid of temptation my friend, beeeee very afraid!

MsaniiXL said...

I bet your hand shake is real wobbly...lol just saying.

Muay thai is some serious shit!...

Acolyte said...

@ Farmgal
Well send those extra pounds to me!Don't hate me for my progress!:D
@ Whispering Inn
I know my weaknesses so when they are in the area I flee!Temptation is real!
@ Msanni
Yes it was a struggle typing the first day from the gym.Remind me to post about the suffering I underwent in the name of learning but on the plus I can really take a punch/kick esp to the ribs!

he means the other mutumia said...

Aco- wewe ni fisi-- Can't a girl shine her jewel in peace?

Prousette said...

Congratulations on your achievement remember I told you it can be done no matter what the menfolk keep preaching that armageddon will occur when you do not polish rockets (lol!)

Guess said...

Ouch ouch - I dont like you anymore. I find that my weight gain/loss is not as simple as eat/no exercise = weight gain
eat less/exercise = weight loss.

I have a very weird metabolism and when I figured out how to deal with it, I felt great and looked great and ate well. Then I feel into a hole and the only saviour I have is me. I am climbing out of that hole soon (procrastination is a mutha) and will stop digging over the weekend (shut up over there).

Now, about your chastity - some of us have no option (or refuse to be tempted into another sexual hole (Jeez, its Friday so leave me alone) ... ahem ..er..

Ok, I will exercise with you and ms k, then I can tell you all what I think and talk to myself about while exercising.

PS: When i used to go to yoga, we had this male instructor who had no (meat and two veg) crotch - ok, maybe he did but where was it. Tihihihi- anyway, everytime I missed a class and he saw me in the gym he would ask me to go in - yes, for punishment. I intend to reconnect with him, I am loosing my elasticity. (shut up all of you, I am leaving)

acolyte said...

@ mutumia
only on video with a cheesy soundtrack to go with it.
@ prou
Well I have done it before and it's just starting out that's hard!
@ Guess
My you have really stated your case for bumming!As for talking now that I have an mp3 player exercise is so much fun ie listening to Ice Cube rapping "you can do it put your back into it!" while on the treadmill!As for yoga let me tell you a secret, I may be able to kick 7 feet in the air but I have to be into practice like for a few months then i can touch my toes as of now I cant so you aren't alone.As for the crotch he may have stretched it out of existance?

nick said...

kudos to u oh u kwai chan cain...its called intra chilling...self denial...

-so ati 20 days and still countin-ngoja u have an upheaval of the loins!!!!

-what msanii was sayin is your wrist is shaky wobbly

-all the best mate..and of course if u wanna learn how to add weight and keep it u know who to hola at

>d® said...

Good luck staying chaste, Aco. Since I recovered my 'conscience' I haven't had any either and I'll tell u what, it's rough, and that's an understatement. Sometimes I feel like a tripod, if you catch my drift!

Which makes me revert to working out to get rid of all this newfound energy. Shoot, I ran 5 miles each day, at least, while on vacation in Fla! And it's still tough going. *Help!*

Props on the muay thai - after watching that one 'muay thai warrior' movie I've nothing but mad respect 4 it; elbowing people's craniums & $hit!

acolyte said...

@ Nick
I do my best!Yes, I will most def holla at you for the weight gain programme!
@ >d
I am sure my time for the shakes is coming!Yes Ong bak was a good movie!I say that you have never done real martial arts training till you do an old school muay thai class!

nick said...

LOL Cubed at TRIPOD!!!!

Mignon said...

glad to hear you're sticking to one of your resolutions. and don't listen to whispering inn cuz there'll be no downfalls coming your way.
in my opinion, the reason you're seeing women in a new light is cuz you're not trying to jump into bed with them. believe it or not, women can sense these things and that's why the women around you are more willing to be friendly...they know you're not trying to get in their pants.
keep it up...have a great weekend :)

Guessaurus said...

You know what aco, that Ice Cube song is in my MP3 player too, and I run to it. I find that I cant run without loud music in my ears and I hate it when someone feels the need to come and chat...

But you are on your own at not touching toes, even in my un-fittest I can still touch them, and do quite a few other things too.

LOL @instructor stretching his crotch to oblivion.... aaaah, that sounds so painful.

Acolyte said...

@ cute angel
I just hope use it or lose it doesnt apply here!have a good weekend too!
@ guess
high tempo music always seems to help in the gym or on the road.Well as for bila crotch that is the only answer that comes to mind!

Whispering Inn said...

LOL @ Tripod and @ UPHEAVAL of the LOINS!

Acolyte said...

@ whispering inn
That is funny!
@ Guess
This just came to me, maybe there is something between my waist and toes that is so large that it makes bending over like a pretzel to touch my toes very hard.hmmmmmm