Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Why some of women will never get a good man

I remember there was a time when I used to get together with my pals and we would hang out with gals that we knew and when the convo steered towards the hook up this would be the girls comment ad nauseum, "where are all the good men?"
Of course in typcial Aco style I dont like my warm Tusker and premiership match interupted so the comment of choice would be,"Are you a good woman?" to give them something to ponder after which it would be back to business until the mating hour when smooth and sensitive Aco would emerge.

So since every woman sees herself as good,pure and innocent and deserving of a Prince Charming I will give you some reasons why some women have not snagged their man.
1.You are hopelessly bitter towards all men because of bad experiences with one or two men:- When a man goes out with a chic and she goes on and on about how
crappy men are esp her ex rest assure the man is making excuses not to see you again or an excuse for an early exit, I have remembered about last minute shopping or important vists to sick relatives at Nairobi/Kenyatta Hospital.
2.Youare hopelessly hung up on a complete jerk you happened to fall in love
with :- I will say this till I am blue in the face if he treats you like crap he doesn't want you!There is probably some good man who wants you but you are too blind to see this and when you are completely wasted by this bad boy the good guy is nowhere to be found.
3. Don't believe good men exist, so provoke you or attack you irrationally:-
For some reason some chics that good men are too good to be true so will do anything to make this man mistreat them.A friend of mine dated a gal who used to be beaten by her ex, this gal did everything to try and make my pal beat her and I mean everything.My pal did the wise thing and walked away.
4. You are only looking for a man to pay the bills :- I have met quite a few gals
like his esp here in the states.Some Kenyan gal went to the extent of asking me if I would pay school fees for my girlfriend and give her my credit card to shop with (You know those hypothetical questions women ask to test men).Needless to say she has never seen or heard from me again.Some other girls I talked to who say Kenyan men aren't generous say that men should help their girls with their bills in addition to taking them out and buying them gifts
just because they are giving the men their companionship.I know women who sell their companionship and they are pretty good at it I used to see them in F2 and on K-street all the time and at least they were up front.Love shouldn't have a price tag!When a man discovers you love his cash more then him he will eitherleave you or keep you as his mistress after he gets a women he can trust.
5. You are only looking for a man to be exactly what they want him to be:- A man
was a person before you met him and not a piece of clay.Take him for who he is and who he is going to be and not what you can make him.Ironically the chic who gets a man she can mould easily usually dumps him very fast.Ladies when it comes to men the product is purchased as is!
6. You are only looking to live out the stories portrayed on the show Sex & The
City
:-These are chics who want to live out the jet set and free sex life
style.This only exists on TV.All the men who are enjoying that drama with you are either married and if not dont have gals like you in mind.They will go look for a gal who has less mileage then an Akamba bus that does the Nairobi - Kampala route thrice a week.Plus reputations do get around so your past will haunt you and PSAs will be given to all potential boyfriends by the Watch Out For Your Boy Union.
7. You are a true believer in the worst nonsense ever advanced -radical
feminism!
:-Gender equality rocks but not radical feminism.Come to think of it most chics whom I have met who call themselves feminists can hardly articulate their beliefs and their history.But anyway as I was saying if you are going to go out with a girl and she starts frothing at the mouth about the patriachy, about how oppressed women are, how evil men are, how strong and independant she is, how every problem bedeviling the world including her bad hair day is due to men; pull your holy water and crucifix young man!That should buy you enough
time to escape!Run and dont look back!When you date such a chic it is inevitable that her rage against all things male shall be turned onto you one day.Save yourself time and suffering and be as nice to her as possible and move on, besides a feminist Icon once said that the only correct kind of love is between two women so dont be a stick in the mud!
ps:I have noticed that these chics are all talk when you look at what they have done to actually uplift the plight of African women all they have done is buy some ribbon to where or taken part in some online thingie on women's day.Oh I stand corrected some actually go to Carni on V-day to "network" and drink expensive cocktails.
8. You are desparate to get married:- There are some women who reach a certain age and notice that they have spent more of their time on their career and making money while leaving the whole business of building strong relationships that could lead towards marriage and family by the wayside.They notice that their classmates who may have less money have happy families and marriages.They see their families at supermarkets and family gatherings. The loneliness begins to bite especially as more of the crew of gals opts for marriage and has less time to spend with their single and free friends. Then the broodiness strikes!The towering standards that had been placed for any hopeful men begin to be lowered one by one but it is too late!Most of the men who are your age mates and had potential are now married.So what happens now is a desparate rush to get married, anyone will do!The thing is that desparation is like the heat you felt radiating from your mother when you had broken her best vase playing ball in the house.You can feel it from miles away, so when the questions about "what do you think about
kids?where do you see yourself in 10 years" begin most men run but some bastards emain long enough to hit it and then run ie Whispering Inn (bastard here meaning loveable rascal as opposed to a person whose parentage is uknown).

But I will admit that there are some chics who just have bad luck with men and are loser magnets.Anyway before you ask that question to some innocent man please see if you land in any of the categories above!
ps: I remember my early days of reading Kenyan blogs I ran across a sex blog by a chic.I don't know if she is in KBW or not but damn that chic used to have a sex life and get around too!I think some of those posts could be used to make a porn movie coz 90% of that blog was sex or building up to it.I went back to the cyber the next day but couldnt find out how I got to that blog, I checked the browser history only to see it had been deleted by the cyber cafe attendant.A red mist came over me and all I recall was body slamming the poor boy into the ground and putting him into a choke hold till he puked and blacked out.Luckily my pal was with me and he stopped me from doing in the rest of the staff.We managed to escape and let's say there is a building next to Nando's that I haven't been to in a long time.I want to read that blog!!!!!!!!!!
Card of the day: Three of swords

13 comments:

KenyanMusings said...

I am first...
***walks off shaking head***. Well, this time I have to agree with you on what you said because shcuks! but its true. Damn! LOL @ 'pull your holy water and crucifix young man!'. P.s I am so not letting go of girlie post thingie...

Prousette said...

I know a few wimin I would love to send your way so that you give them these lessons because they do not seem to get it...

Girl next door said...

You've dinyad your points very well, can't help but laugh! In the past, I've been guilty of complaining about the lack of good men; but I currently hold the opposite view. I have met, and have the priviledge of knowing some great men. The challenge is getting with someone who feels the same way about you at the same time.
In defense of women, many are brought up in a protective environment with a father or a male relative always providing-- so afterwards they're hunting for a man to step into that role. But I find that surprising for someone who has fikad the U.S. --ati they want school fees paid and a credit card to shop, wtf?

Kenyangal said...

Good advice!! I must admit though that I've heard something like that somewhere before.. hmmmm.... OH!!! Thats it! "the rules"!!

guessaurus said...

Watch out gals, Aco is on your ass like a bad rash.

Totally agree with most of your points - and I personally know enough good men to keep a football squad of women happy, and yes, are you a good woman to deserve a good man?

As for someone paying your fees, credit card etc - dayum dude, LOL if I were you I would have laughed so hard the person would have turned deaf in a minute - I as a woman find that notion absurd - or maybe its because I have been independent of anyone since I was 18yrs old - go figure.

Although that said, there are some pretty pathetic men out there too - so if you get one clingy, ex-obsessed, mummy quoting, serial baby-daddy out there, clutch your rosary, get the holy water splashed all over you and run, Forrest!

LOL@WhisperingInn - dude, you aint pulling punches - will come back when the fire heats up :D

acolyte said...

@ kenyanmusings

@ prou
Send them the post!!!
@ girl next door
i do agree that meeting someone who feels exactly the same way about you hard!As for that storo of wanting to be chungwad hapa stato is why i give many kenyan chics here a wide berth!
@ kenyangal
Dearest, please don't say that!
@ Guess
Yes that spoiled princess complex does get to me!I mean some of these gals who want all these things are nothing to write home about.But I do feel you that there are some messed up men out there too, hence my term that some gals just have bad luck.
As for Whispering Inn, he's a man after my own heart!

acolyte said...

@ kenyanmusings again!
I was speechless due to the great anticipation of your girlie post torrent.....

WM said...

I am only guilty of #7, if that was the one about feminism--the other ones I found funny and absurd. But really, feminism is only the radical idea that women are human too, are equal to men, and have brains as well as breasts. This doesn't strike me as a particularly hard principle to grasp, but it appears to elude quite a large percentage of the population. Go figure! Apart from one memorable jerk in my past, I have had the nicest and sweetest boyfriends my whole life--people whom I still love and like and wish the best for. People who are still my friends and on whom I can call for in time of need. I guess I've been lucky, but it is also a matter of being a feminist, because you see, once you get rid of all those horrible parasitic ideas of what men are supposed to be (open wallets, providers, etc.) they you get to treat them as genuine people too, to which they respond, and at least for a time, you get a lover as well as a friend. The lover might go away, but the friend never does. Radical feminism, is radical acceptance of all. Try it sometime.

dangerouslyshy said...

hmm..i got as far as "typcial Aco style I dont like my warm Tusker and premiership match" and came to a screeching halt..seems like im not the only one..adios!!!! i see something about girlie posts..lol..shd be amusing..what the heck ive got two minas to kill

acolyte said...

@ wm
Whatever works for you!We are all entitled to our beliefs!
@ dshy
Hope you read the rest and learned a thing or two or maybe you can teach me a thing or two!

Movie Buff said...

I always learn so much from you Aco.....

Joan said...

...stumbled on ya blogpage jana...through a friend of a friend of a friend...nway about this post, seems you had kaliad this issue kitako for a while coz you sure did give it maximum exposure...
so cutting to the big chase...i am a good woman, looking for a good man.are you him?

LOL!

Acolyte said...

@ Joan
Bad news, I have commited myself to bachelorhood for life! Lol!