Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Girlie Posts

I am going to start with the usual statement that comes before someone makes a statement that may insult another party:
I don't intend to cause offense but there are some blogs that I find hard to read and that torture my simple mind to no end; I call them girlie blogs.
No I am not referring to all blogs written by women (so you who know yourself put your tongue back in it's sheathe).I am talking about the blogs written mostly (99%) by girls and that are like reading her journal or getting into her head.
Since my upgrade to Acolyte V2.0 the amount of information I can absorb has risen exponentially but for this to be done my emotional chip had to be downgraded.So when I read entries like this and this; I wonder how one mind can handle so many emotions running through it in one day and not experience a mental breakdown.
As the latest model in the Acolyte series I think that emotions are best dealt with one at a time and as soon as possible.The main Acolyte parameters come first at all times so logic must rule.To make this easy the Acolyte mainframe has this framework for dealing with information and external stimuli.To simplify this we will examine a post that has logic based approach using the Acolyte approach of Who, When, Where, What, Why, With Whom, How, What Next. Not all those categories must be fulfilled.
Who: Kikuyus, Kenyans, other tribes, Kenyan leaders, Shiroh
Where: Kenya, Nairobi, my village
What:Kikuyu ethnocentricism, anti-Kikuyu sentiment, essentialism, tribalism, tribal based systems of patronage
Why: Ethnic pride, tribalism is wrong, how to end tribalism, the importance of national unity, frustration.
Conclusion:Therefore in a nutshell I learn that Shiroh is very proud of being a Kikuyu but can't be held liable for the mistakes of the Kikuyu elite in power.She has noticed how different tribes in power have used their postions to aid their tribesmen.She also advocates different ways tribalism has been institutionalised and how it can be reversed.I love the way the post is easily categorised as it makes it easy for me to do a search in my hard-drive.My number one blog in this category is Bankele's blog!
Now onto a girlie post.This was hard as there were two leading candidates.Let's look at this one.
Who:Miss K, Omar, other men in her life
Where:In the future, past, her heart.....
What:Do I need a man in my life to define me, have I been defined by men, do relationships with a gal's dad define how she interacts with men, how I was before I had a boyfriend, how I interact with men after my first boyfriend, why is there always a man in my life, I am on the shelf, should I be on the shelf, I want a dildo (system warning:Acolyte XP is closing other unneccesary applications to handle requirements of this application)
Conclusion: We learn that Miss K is......Warning this application has unexpectedly quit.System will restore itself in 120 secs and purge the current workload
Card of the day: 6 of pentacles.

19 comments:

Kenyangal said...

hahahaha...

Movie Buff said...

LOL... Aco... u so wrong... he he....

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal and moviebuff
I'm a simple man.....a very simple man

Prousette said...

Is it that it is too much the emotions are too much to handle or what?
Am trying to understand your point here.

Milonare said...

Yani Aco your are fishing for ma-rungus LOLOL

I'm off to get my popcorn so I can come watch from the sidelines LOLOL

Kenyangal said...

@ Prousette, lets just say this is a classic exmaple of men are from mars and woen are from venus.. that book is not just a cliche, it hits the mark on male female communication

Kenyangal said...

ummm.. Anonymus spelling police i meant example and women, :}

KenyanMusings said...

YOU ARE WAY OVER YOUR HEAD MISTER!!!! I saw the title, and I so knew what you are on about...Let me finish reading the post then come at your rear!

KenyanMusings said...

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I am trying to stop laughing here so I can eeerrrm say somethings that will not cause shut down.
Of course that is why its a blog, of course that is why you are so taotally allowed to put a clip of FOOTBALL/SOCCER on your sidebar, Of course that is why you can talk about gym equipment and lesbians in heaven, (You and Whis)etc.
Its true, men are so simple, women(most) are the opposite, and I embrace that, and the fact that you hate me **sob sob** what did I ever do to you? (see, woman reading between the lines).
Ayayyayaii but lakini you have so wezad me. I am so gonna tell Mutumia and Guess and Ms K and and Milo.....Do something!!!
*** sulking mara fifty***

Queen of girlie posts said...

And Prou. I will tell Prou as well.
** going to corner to weep until someone brings me chocolate**

acolyte said...

@ prou
I think the post says it all
@ milo
enjoy the show
@ kenyangal
Dont hate me for being simple!
@ kenyanmusings
That emotional stimuli is waaaaaaaaaaaay too much!If that is what goes on in ya'll heads I am scared to get married!One emotion at a time please!

nick said...

@milo niletee fanta pia as you get the popcorn....mmm mmm mwhere is ms k? Aco u better run...

acolyte said...

@ Nick
What can she do to me?Overwhelm me with emotions?ROTFLOL!

Ms K said...

LOL No Aco I will not overwhelm you with emotions. Lakini, early warning, you might want to stay away from my blog cos I'm pretty sure the girly posts are going to continue seeing as I am a... girl.

acolyte said...

@ Ms K
Talk about being busted by someone talking about them when you didnt know they were there.As for more emotional posts........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!

Whispering Inn said...

Dude, on one hand I am with you - seeing as KM has bunched us men together.

I, too, don't like "extreme" girlie posts - emotional-feely-waaaah-waaaaah-I-don't-have-a-man-or-he dosn't-love-me-or-anysuchbullshit!

However, and this, my friend, is where I hold your feet to the fire, they are women, and they are blogging on their blogs, about their feelings.

They have a right to do so.

Like me, you should leave behind a defeaning screeching sound and a cloud of dust and burning rubber as you exit, the moment you see that girlie stuff!

Y'see, I am a closet rights advocate, and besides, if we let them yak that stuff amongst themselves, they'll not bitch too much on my dates with them!

And that increases my chances of getting my daily ration of bedroom exercise ten-fold.

I am brilliant!

acolyte said...

@ whispering inn
I have nothing against girls writing such posts but reading them for me is an uphill task!But as for the fact it results in less listening duty for you is a great plan!As for you being brilliant methinks the jury is out on that one!

Shiroh said...

Honored to please one Acolyte. Now to girlie posts; posts i thoroughly enjoy.
Maybe it is because i am a girl who has never been girly.
Aco if you just for a moment entered a girl's heart at that time you would realize why a girly post is sometimes important.Men are central in our heart like feeling "i am so in love now"; i wonna shout it.

bee said...

Ehem.
Milo and Nick, ebu pass the bottle opener so that I can open my sprite. Let me comment on this movie kidogo (girlie thing to do)...
"If you don't like them, don't read them, a ring spanner can never fit a square nut."