Wednesday, April 19, 2006

My pet peeves part 1

1.Emotionally needy people - I get tired trying to tell people they are not as ugly,fat or dumb as they think they are. I tell you twice at most!I am not an emotional tampon!
2. People who whine - I have no problem with your expressing your disatisfaction with something. But when you do it ad nauseum and to make things worse you are doing nothing to correct what it is you are complaining about you are asking for a bitch slap.
3.People who take pride in their ignorance - Have you ever asked someone about something that may eventually affect them ie Immigration matters and they go like, "I don't bother with such!" Another good reason for a bitch slap!
4.People who undertake complex undertakings without planning - How the hell do you plan to drive long distance but dont bother to get a puncture fixing kit, AA, jumper cable and the other emergency stuff then you want Aco to help you out?Or put a down payment on a house yet you dont even have a steady job and have no contingency plan for in case you cant make payments.Dumbass Mofos!
5.Dancefloor vultures - My guy sneaking up on a mama on the dancefloor and rubbing your crotch on her sans invitation is not a good way to introduce yourself!
6.Bar vultures - These are those mamas who you start talking to near the bar and then they think that coz you are talking to them you have to buy them a drink.My dear I am just making conversation, besides every sucker buys mamas drinks on the first night.You have to prove yourself worthy before I buy you a drink.Also just because you are the pal of the mama I was talking to does not earn you a drink much as it doesnt earn me a free shot at the goods.Buy your own damn drinks!
7.Tribal imperialists - It is a good thing to be proud of what tribe you came from but that is no excuse to think that you are superior and treat people from other tribes like crap and not associate with them. And we wonder why Kenya isnt doing as well as it could.
8.One dimensional people - I dislike people who can only talk about one or two things and to make things worse can't even do it well. I had a workmate who used to talk about 3 things work, women and football. Do you know how much it sucks hanging with a pal outside the office and them going on about office matters (argh!!!), it got boring about him talking about the mamas he had shagged, was planning to shag or was dreaming of shagging (ie Halle Berry) and then when it came to soccer. Woooiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!This man was an enemy of foootball this guys football knowledge only extended two years back!Ask him about Tony Adams or John Barnes and the dude was lost!This was his idea of why Arsenal would win the league," have you seen Fabregas that kid can play!And Flamini is a haste!"Nothing about tactics, fixtures or the effect of European soccer and upcoming transfers!But he was tolerable once someone had a few beers in them and since he was buying the beers........
9.Gold Diggers and undercover Gold Diggers - If you go after a man because of what he has and not who he is then you are a gold digger, that is all I am going to say!
10.Dudes who dandia you for pints but never buy when their day comes! - These bastards always have an excuse when it is their turn but when you are absent they talk about how the pints flowed!Bastards!
11.People who beat women - Unless a chic is threatening your life or your crown jewels you have no right to take your first to her at all!Words should be enough for you to solve your differences, if not walk away!
12.Chics who stay with dudes who beat them and treat them like crap - If you have the ability to leave an abusive relationship but you stay, you have no sympathy from me.I know someone is going to say it isn't that easy, well I think it is and I dont care!
13.People who lie for the sake of lying - I am sure we all know some people like that. People who lie for no purpose whatsover!It is so irritating!
14.Rapists and child molestors - I believe there is a special place in hell for them.Let me not start ranting on this.
15.Women who kill their children - Mother is the name for God on the lips of all children.If you can kill what you carried in your womb for nine months and went through hours of labour to bring onto this earth then a special evil runs through your brains.
16.People who abuse animals - God placed us one earth as stewards of all creation.So it galls me when some people use the power we were given over creation to make animals suffer ie dog fights, overworking animals, mutilating animals.
17.Chics who wear revealing clothes then are self conscious the whole day - My dear did you not look in the mirror before you left home?
18.People who can't hold their liqour - I hate those kubaffs who go catch pints and then get high start throwing up all over, bouting and all sorts of other drama.If you can't handle your liqour stop drinking!
19.Dead beat dads - Any man can be a daddy but it takes a real man to be a father. If you cant take the heat then dont put any buns in the oven!
20.Chics who have kids with dead beats - You could tell that he was a dead beat and you had a kid with him anyway!Too bad for you!
21.Obese people - I am sorry no actually I am not.Get you lazy ass up!Diet and sukuma weights and treadmill!
22.People who use the name of God to take advantage of people - We see such people on TV every day esp Sundays.Your love gift in exchange for health,wealth and wisdom.There is a special place for you too.
23.Christian fundamentalists - Just because you read your Bible word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut!
24.Muslim fundamentalists - Just because you read your Koran word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut who blows things and himself up!
25.Nosy people - Why do you want to know who I am, where I am from, where I live, why I live there etc.It isnt any of your damn business...
Part 2 coming soon!


Shiroh said...

Numero Uno..see comment in the other post.

Shiroh said...

I am most definitely feeling you on 1,2,11,12,19

Nice post Aco!!!

I especially hate emotionally needy people who i deal with so many times...arghhhhh!!!

Don't get me started on whining

Prousette said...

*In a whiny voice*
But aco I just want to get to know you better. What is wrong with that? Where you come from is part of what you are.

dangerously_shy said...

Lol, auuiii eti you have to prove a mama has to prove herself before she gets a measly drink, foko jembe to all the dudes who think that!! Exactly how does a mama go about “proving” her worth (again for a £2.50/$4.00 drink) maybe a couple of headstands?, solve a complex equation? Build a skyscraper from scratch? Wewe Acolyte stop with the mingi fitinas, it is only a drink, more often than not buying a mama a drink is a chivalrous thing to do, like opening a door or letting her come first..

Moving on..

@Gold diggers – Lol, I wont even touch on this one, but I will say this like attract like, enough said me thinks!!

@Physical abuse – Trust me if only it was as simple as that, again will not get into this..not here not now anyway

@Women who murder their offspring – again, not making excuses but its not always so simple, more often than not mental issues such as schizophrenia play a major part in this, may I recommend that you read “A child called It”

Obese people – I think you mentioned you dislike people that take pride in their ignorance, do you honestly believe a diet and a stint in the gym is the only remedy?

So Acolyte, I think Prousette asked you a swali where do you live, who are you where are you from, are you tall, short, muscely, spindly, slim, chunky, how you like it daddi?

acolyte said...

@ shiroh
Comment seen!Ah at last a chic who doesnt defend whining!
@ prou
You may want to know me better but at least take some time to do it.Giving the 9th degree doesnt earn points with me at all!
@ d-shy
If it is a cheap drink you might as well buy it for yourself then!You should prove yourself by being worthy of my company and favour by being able to hold my attention.Buying a drink is not chivlarous!Women equate being a gentleman to doing things for them when they on the other had threw the ladies manual out of the window and took on Cosmo instead.
1.physical abuse - you are entitled to your own opinions.
2.Women who murder their offspring - women who murder children are sick and need help but men who murder children are beasts who need to be put down like rabid dogs right?Wrong!No double standards!They should both die slowly and painfully!No exceptions!
3.Obese people - Unless you have a thyroid condition or some form of diabetes you can use all the science to justify what you want.I am not talking of big boned ppl, I am talking about the blobs who go to Mc Dees and eat food for 5 at one go.It was simple enough to shove all that food up your maw but shedding it via slow exercise and dieting is complicated.People always want to justify their weakness and it makes me want to throw up!But there are other remedies for the lazy like lipo and stomach stapling.As for prou she knows enuff of those answers from reading my blog.

mocha! said...

LOL @ D-Shy's analysis and end question! tihihihihi!

LMAO @ emotional tampon (1)! ROFLMAO!

I agree with 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, .....aahh the whole shibang!

acolyte said...

@ mocha!
Great minds think alike!

The Devious One said...

the drinks scenario is a double edged sword...coz women ( atleats the smart ones know ) THE DRINK COMES WITH THE DICK !!!!
wacha I buy my own martini...Ive see chicks hepain a dude who bought them a drink..what the fuck ??
SOLUTION - give the dude the money he spent on drink(s) on you and let it be...
then again, some hefers jus deserve the stalker dude in a club or bar !

dangerously_shy said... answer to number one – eti hold your attention? kwani wewe ni mwalimu? Anyway this is bot only a hackneyed topic but one that is also contentious and im not in the mood leo so moving on..

2. in answer to number two –as clear cut as that eh? Lol sawa and I quote “you are entitled to your own opinions”

3.Obese people – Don’t worry, I wasn’t about to justify or back up my comments with scientific facts, science isn’t the answer to everything, even Einstein had enough sense to acknowledge this fact. So again I quote “you are entitled to your own opinions”

over and out!!!

acolyte said...

@ devious one
That is indeed a great strategy, teach it to the other ladies will ya!
@ d-shy
I am both a teacher and a student!I always thought in matters of biology and physiology that science was the best thing to solve quandries but I could be wrong.But as you said we are both entitled to our own opinions!Later....

reformed said...

i have to say i agree with you 1 mpaka 25

kelitu said...

Acolyte, now who is going to hold my hand and be my emotional tampon and tell me am beuriful?! *wail*

Girl next door said...

While reading your post, I found myself nodding my head and thinking, "Oh yeah!" I feel you on #5 (I'm on a hiatus from dance clubs), #7 (I've had people argue with me what tribe I'm from; if they like you then you must be from their tribe), #14, 16, 22, 25( I also detest people who don't know me and act like they're doing a thesis on my life).

acolyte said...

@ reformed
Great minds think alike?
@ kelitu
I am sure there is some nice guy out there for that.
@ girl next door
Peeps love you mpaka they adopt you by force and then they do a thesis on your life?What is it about you?

dangerously_shy said...

Apologies for my abrupt departure yesterday, I was nursing a headache using weak painkillers, leo im on codeine and good to go

Drinks – Why limit it to drinks, why not discuss the dating spectrum as a whole seeing as the underlying issues/ principles are the same similar. Look, in very basic terms buying a mama dinner/drinks is one of the basic rules of courtship for people with old fashioned beliefs, by buying these things a man is simply proving the woman’s desirability and signaling his romantic intentions.

Personally I prefer going 50/50 on everything, whether you are female, male, hata kama it’s a date (I don’t do dates though that’s anoda storo) or we are just hanging out. There is something satisfying not only in ordering, sharing/splitting different things e.g. garlic bread popcorn a pitcher of non alcoholic cocktail etc but also in splitting the bill so that no one comes off worse financially speaking ama it would ruin everything

Ill await your response before moving on and tackling obesity

Movie Buff said...

Im late but I have to comment on the Obese people one... Obese people who get Handicapped tags..... WALK YOU MORON!

acolyte said...

@ d-shy
You have brought up some interesting material that I will address in a post soon!
@ movie buff
Yeah I wanna slap some sense into them myself too!

Girl next door said...

I don't think it's about me; it's just nosy people with 21+ questions!