Friday, June 16, 2006

The Answers part I

Okay here are the answers to the questions you asked for the Ask The Acolyte segment:

Joseph (joe) asks;
Why do call yourself The Acolyte?
-I call myself The Acolyte as for me life is a learning experience under many teachers, life is the
best teacher there is after God.

The limit was one question but he asked some extra ones and I have decided to indulge him.
Were you in the clergy?
Are a devoted follower or attendant?
Are you an Indonesian manga publisher?
Is it true you were once in seminary on the way to becoming a priest?
-No, I have never been in the clergy
-I am not an attendant but I do consider myself a student of many of the great teachers in the school of life ranging from the old drunk in the bar to buddha.
-I am not Indonesian or a manga publisher
-No I never went to a seminary but I did go to a School of Ministry and could have entered full time Ministry but then I saw the light or the darkness depending on what way you look at it.

dangerously_shy asked;

When did you and Joe form this unholy tag team?
-As far as I know, we are not a tag team.In fact we do disagree quite a bit despite that we always do it in a genteel manner and that makes me respect him.
Whats with dropping a bombshell and then following it up with my laugh, sasa wont people put 1 + 1 pamoja and come up with kumi?
-Let them come up with kumi, in fact I am surprised some of them can count that far; but your laugh rocks!I can see you laughing away in your highback chair with a white siamese cat at your side as you plan world domination!

Kelitu asked;
I saw on your note about your blog that thou said that thou shall not be the Acolyte for long? Why sire why?
-I do not see myself being a follower all my life, one day I will stop being The Acolyte and become The Leader (or whichever new name I am inspired to adopt)

Prousette asked;
Where do you see yourself in five years time?
-Well that is an interesting one.Most probably I will be shuttling between Kenya and the States as I work for an international NGO concentrating on public policy issues.Most definitely unmarried but maybe dating.I would also have some investments and charitable organisations in Kenya running.I would also be a vegetarian, teetolater and in the best physical condition in my life.Or something like that.

Anonymous asked;
You clearly disagree with many things about KBW. In your last post you even mentioned about having to disguise yourself like some standard 3 kido to comment on certain blogs. Since you clearly feel that you do not need KBW and you disagree with so much of what the people who run it stands for, why do you not stand up for your principles and leave KBW?
-No need to be civil here it seems.First of all I see me disguising myself as a wise move as I get to comment (besides when to std 3 kids disguise themselves and why?).Yes to some extent I do not need KBW and yes I was this close to leaving but a blogger whom I respect talked me out of it and their explanation made alot of sense.KBW is not the inner clique whom I may have disagreed with but every other blogger who is a member.Plus the fact that I may disagree with some of the KBW stalwarts does not I disagree with KBW's aims which are pretty noble.

Shiroh asked:
Why The Acolyte?
-My dear your question has been answered above.

Akiey asked;
If you had to save one famous person from drowning who would that & why?
-Very interesting as I have never given these kinds of questions much thought.Hmmmmm what can I think of out of the top of my head?Martin Luther King, so that he could share his wisdom with us.Maximus Decimus, so that we could have Gladiator 2.

Nakeel asked;
Given a chance to be Kenya's president for a month what's that unique thing will you do?
-I decided to take a priviledge and add an s to the word thing in her question.I would make MPs forfeit their salaries for one month and put that money towards public projects in their constituencies.Pass or rework as many public policies as possible to allow for more oversight of the spending of public funds and make sure that these policies are as beneficial to the locals as ever.I would throw out all the crooked Italians in Malindi and all other foreigners whose presence in Kenya is doing the locals little good.I would have the Land Laws in Kenya overhauled so that a land deed becomes more valuable then the paper that it is printed on, I would then put in a system to buy the thousands of idle acres owned by the rich and slowly distribute it to the rural poor so they can at least grow their own food and make a bit of a living.
I would increase the ratio of police to people so that Kenyans can walk at night without being scared of being robbed and raped.I would have agricultural policies overhauled so that farmers can make more money from what they grow and not middlemen; plus I would have agricultural research well funded so that Kenya can feed its' own people.I would make any form of kleptocracy a capital offence.I would have prostitution legalised and regulated so as to make it safe for those who choose to do it.I would do something about uplifting the economy but seeing as I am not an economist I would have professionals come in and have them work without political interference.Of course something would have to be done about our infrastructure ie roads, electricity and communication to make Kenya viable for investments and industry.All in all I would not sleep that whole month!

Mocha! asked;

Which of the KBW members you have come to know would you like to meet and why?
-Well this is going to be a long list let's see
1.Mocha! - So I can listen to her mixing for me, plus she has that girl next door thing that I like.I feel like she isn't the kind of person I would have to put on any kind of airs for or work hard to make an impression on.
2.Guess- She seems like a very interesting person, so I am sure we would have a lot to laugh about.
3.Mutumia- Most def I have to miss the exbabymamahomielover friend!Gotta see the strokes that I forfeited.Plus she most def sounds like someone you could never get bored with.
4.TheDeviousone - Any gal who has an X-men avatar gets my vote!Plus if she talks the way she posts then she would make the best drinking partner ever!I can't wait for more Ikemfume and Oduori stories!
5.Kenyanmusings - I want to look deep into her eyes and soul and as she cowers in awe she would know that she has met a force greater then herself.
6.Dangerously Shy - If she would be up to it I would like to conclude some issues that we did not see eye to eye about.
7.Kenyangirl - I just want to find out if she is a real person or a figment of someone's overactive imagination.
8.M - I would like to learn the finer points of blogging and writing short stories from him.Plus I am sure he would be good company.
9.Keguro - I would like to see if he is as enigmatic in real life as he is on the blogosphere and I would like to hear him using all those big words!
10.Nick - I would like to know if he is as "sweet" in real life as he is in the blogosphere.Plus he could catch me up on all the TV programmes and movies I have watched.
11.Udi- Most def a pal I would like to catch pints with and talk smack with!
12.Milonare - After seeing his pic I have a feeling that we once blacked out under the same table in a Nairobi West Bar.Plus he has unexplored potential to join the darkside; bwehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13.Ms K- Just to see the face behind those posts, maybe I wouldn't even talk to her; ni uso tu nataka.
14.Gay Nairobi Man - Just to get under his skin.Yes I'm a bad man!
15.Prousette - She seems like a nice person and I would look at her to get more criteria to use to weigh any mamis who want to be Mrs Aco.
16.Shiroh - Just to have fun in between making her get pissed off and sharing interesting thoughts.
17.>d He seems to be a very interesting and deep dude!Would make good company!
18.Kelitu - Even though I don't know her that well blogwise she seems like she would be great company.
If you feel that I have left your name out please let me know and give a good reason why it should be on the list!

Mama Mia asked;
If you could have dinner with any four people that have lived (past and present, and including fictional characters), who would you pick?
-Hmmm these questions are never my strong point anyway let's see; Nelson Mandela, Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Proffesor X, Doctor Doom, God, Satan, Superman, Jomo Kenyatta, Tom Mboya and my late father.Just realised there are no women on that list, nothing personal ladies.

Maria asked;
Whats your favourite food?
-I would say Chapatis

M asked;
How are you going to do your bit to ensure we elect worthy leaders in the next elections?
-I would hire a group of skilled assasins to take out the leaders who have failed Kenyans when they plan to run for re-election, then I would have some ninja type detectives find out embarassing info about the others so when they get into office I could use that information to compell them to serve the people the right way and not take advantage of that.
But seeing as though I do not have the millions to make that be I will try to have constructive political conversations with voters so that they can do the right thing instead of voting on a tribal bias.I would encourage the youth to get voters cards and of course I would vote!

Kenyan analyst asked;
Given a chance to re-live your life, how differently would u live?
-I have always felt that their were many opportunities in my life that I let pass me by, so a second time round I would grab them.I also feel that many times in the past I never gave 100% to what I was doing so I would change that too.

If you have any more queries, keep them coming!


mocha! said...

LOL.....fao!!! *doing a major Furahiday jo!!!*

Off to read!!!

mocha! said...

Aki ya nani!

You answers are just hilarious!

To keep 'em coming, here is my question for part 2:

If you do decide to get married and have kids, where would you live and educate your children and why?

acolyte said...

@ Mocha!
Yes Friday rocks!I will answer that question in depth in part II but at the end of the day my life is going to be in Kenya; so I am sure you know what I am going to say in part II!

dangerously_shy said...

One last question, which of the armenian brothers will it take for you to stop with my trademark laughter aka bwehehe?

Oh wait did i say one last question? I lied, will you cease from posting about the akataa?, its bogus sana, but sadly i know the answer to this question...i suppose its like the age old question, why do dogs like their balls? because they can..teehee..

Thanks for answering my questions though and it was fun reading all the the responses....


I see all the other females got glowing feedback, personality this and sijui uso that, sasa me i get sijui we sit down and discuss? washana na discuss..kwani im an MP? not up for it, tried failed and had to file that one under 'D' for Dead horse

@ Most of them cant count ten - Ahh Acolyte, the cheap shots are most unbecoming but ill stay out of it.

**sighs** why cant we all get along, ill start by snogging kmusings, show u how easy it is..

Ni mimi D-Shyest

Acolyte said...

@ D shy
Thanks for passing by.I thought that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?So you should be happy that I am using your laugh.As for the akataa mami I am going to do another post and this time more positive as she has lots of redeeming qualities too!How come you don't ask some mamas not to post about their dudes and the adventures they have, ama it's double standards?
As for the other blog pals, shouldnt you be happy that I take your so seriously.
Otherwise I have beef with no-one, I love alla ya'll!

Mutumia said...

why did you boot me?

Acolyte said...

@ mutumia
I thought the therapist said that it would be best if you didnt talk about this?Anyway that one will be addressed too.

Joseph Walking said...

Aco lol yani dude you must be the evil version of me ! public policy an akataa woman wacha kijana i could swear you are trying to be me . But i cant wait for the akataa post i can tell you stories kijana i almost married an akataa woman (and not for papers) ebu post so we can compare notes i dont think i would ever date an akataa even if its halle berry

Movie Buff said...

I for one....feel left out. I dont think I need to have a reason to be on the list........ I am movie buff after all....... ha ha.... and how come I am not ur facebook friend.... eh????? tihihihi......

Prousette said...

Ah see I made it to the list of top 20, and thank you for answering my question. Now how to get you to unseat Kibaki...

mdkims said...

guess i am not the only is good to dream and let free the yearnings of your soul....for sometimes imagination is greater than wonder bloggers seem so delightful than people you meet in daily life....yea, at such a time my heart is full of romance.....

acolyte said...

@ joseph
Maybe it's you whose trying to be me?Looool!Yes the similarities are scary!Yes dating an akataa is an adventure in itself!
@ movie buff
You jua mambo ni pole pole.As for face book just search for me and make a friend request
@ prousette
You are welcome and when it comes to politics I have no aspirations, my main area of interest is public policy.
@ mdkims
Yes it is a wonderful thing that bloggers dare to dream as what is life if we don't?

Guessaurus said...

I see I made the cut -weee Aco, I will bring devious and then we can have a drink and a natter, you nutter (yes, the different spellings stand)

I never got to ask any questions yet, so dont think I have forgotten!

spicebear said...

i'm liking your answers, very entertaining. now, will there come a time where you say "tosha!" to all the questions? cos si you know once people start getting creative this could go o forever?

by the way, the above is a rhetorical question so it does not go toward my quota which you set at one question but lakini since everyone else has ignored that i will do the same.

mine is, what is the one thing about "the acolyte" that would make the whole KBW gasp (followed with long drawn out pause with instrumentals a la my fave soaps) with shock? it cannot be something we already know and the more shocking the better like for example that you really are a woman writing under a pseudonym (ok, now that would just be hilarious)

in case you decide to duck the question, what's your favourite icecream?

acolyte said...

@ Guess
I wonder if any city would survive having you,Devious and me in the same joint at the same time?Feel free to ask your question
@ spicebear
Well you will see what answer I have for you in part II!

Girl next door said...

This is interesting! Only 1 question? Maybe I can sneak in a couple...
a) If you could have any pet, with the exception of a dog or cat, what would it be?
b) Imagine that you're going to spend a summer in a Tibetan monastery, which 3 books would you take with you?

KenyanMusings said...

sasa Aco. Me I am bila soul wewe. Kwanja those things of looking into machos me, they make me blush so washana nayo.....and, there is no force greater than KM. Me, I have this blank look like "so, what will we do for dinner"? If you can get more than that from my eyes.....count thyself lucky!!

Coolness. Sorry I missed my Part 1, so that means I get to ask 2 no?

1. What is your dress style?

2. Have you ever been in a long istance relationship and for how long? (I have a tres good memory. do you remember this question?)

About Milo...small clarification here....i think he has that face of "where did see you?" you sat across him in those old shags mats because even I had that feeling that we blacked out under the same table in Kibera when I first saw him...I'm just saying. In the words of Dshy, Bwehehehehehhe!!

Haya, nice weekend Aco. Kina us, we are all about rugby and very very skimpy clothes. Me and the rugby players.

POTASH said...

uhm...liked the answer to what you will be doing in five years in that is a really ambitions person in there.
as for your beef in KBW, you had beef...with who? well I wouldn't know abot that. Not me.

Shiroh said...

Hey Aco,.interesting. Wacha i check if KM is skimpy then i get back atcha

Acolyte said...

Nice questions, I will most def deal with them
@ Kenyanmusings
It seems that milo gets around then, who knows where else he could have been?
@ Potash
It is good to have dreams big ones at that so even if I fall short I still have something to show.As for beef I dont give it much thought!
@ shiroh
You have a nice weekend and blog about it asap!

Irena said...

And to think that I thought I would make a list of those you would like to meet? Oh flattery! After all a fellow blogger called me your Alter Ego.......but do I say!

Acolyte said...

@ irena
You being my alter ego?Interesting, I wonder what made them come up with that opinion?

kelitu said...

Awww! Thanx so much for including me on your list. Trust me, we would have a ball hanging out. We'll sit somewhere on a park bench, watch people walk by and make fun of them.
Oh and i love chapos too so i will be sure to pack them for the outing!

nick said...

sweet kitu gani bad to the bone!!!!!!! b-b-b-bad ...bad to the bone

Ms K said...

Uso tu? Uso tu? I'll send you a pic.

LOL on Milo's pic!! Ati KM sat across him in a shags mat? Ha ha

Great post!