Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dr Doom for President, heathy bears,macho sexuals and wayne rooney

I have been following the whole loss of Kenya's sovereignity and our bumbling President with a keen eye and I got to thinking.When Kibaki came into power, he let his Ministers run wild be autonomus and that seemed to bear fruit initially until they began to abuse the powers under them.Seeing as Kibaki aka Baba Jimmy has been very busy letting us know who his family member are (thanks to M I know that they are not Megatron, Laser Beak, Starscream and Sound Wave - that one was priceless!), I think that I know who the perfect candidate for our next President is.
Lightning strikes and the room gets dim.......
Doctor Doom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who don't know who Dr Doom is, see here and then come back.The thing is that logic and termperance has failed with our leaders in all levels of Kenyan life from politics to sport. In comic lore Dr Doom tends to be a benevolent dictator (sounds like a paradox doesn't it), he treats his subjects fairly but rules with an iron fist and doesn't hesitate to punish those who go against his wishes.
So I can see this scenario unfolding:
One afternoon a month after coming to power, Doom holds a garden dinner at State House (which is packed to capacity as no MP wants his absence noticed ). After the festivities and dinner Doom takes to the podium and thanks the MPs for coming to the dinner.He then tells the MPs how he has great love for his Kingdom and believes that its' resources should be free for all his subjects and not monopolised and plundered by a select few, he adds how it angers him that he has subjects who are too hungry and poor to worship his great name.At that point some of the MPs begin to fidget.
At that point in time the Doctor begans to read the names of various politicians from a piece of paper.The whispering in the audience becomes really loud as it is an open secret that those names are notorius for being the most corrupt of the corrupt and unproductive in their constituencies to boot.After the nakes are exhausted he asks those mentioned to join him on the podium.They do so hesitantly unsure of what the ruler has planned, he then addresses the crowd telling them that when he came to power he told the people that in exchange for giving him absolute rule that he would make the nation one they would be proud to be a part of.He then adds that when his subjects do anything that goes against his promise to the people they are bringing his name into disrepute.He peers at them through his gleaming mask and says that he cannot abide such vile behaviour, his steel gauntlets begin to gleam as the power in the suit accumulates.The legislators are paralysed with fear and before they know what is happening twin bolts of energy hit them and amids screams and cries for mercy they are vapourised.After that transparency and good governance became the order of the day.
It is a this point where I would like to shout Kura Kwa Daktari Doom!But we know that Dr Doom doesn't do elections!
This fun episode was brought to your by beer and ice cream before bed time!

If a bear can eat healthy, then so can we!This story made my morning.

What do women and companies want from men?Men were panned for being too hard and crude, so it was metro sexuals, so we had a large bunch of men learning how to cry, wearing sarongs and getting manicures and pedicures.Then came the uber sexuals, this is a male who is similar to a metrosexual but displays the traditional manly qualities such as confidence, strength, and class - leaving no doubt as to his sexual orientation.But now we have macho sexuals! Screw all that crap!I don't care what the companies and the ladies say, The Acolyte is going to do dress how he wants, acts how he wants and I suggest all men follow suit!

Why is Rooney always refered to as a dog?
Whenever Rooney is about to play in a big game or has just returned from injury the media always use headlines likening him to a dog. For example, the front page "Rooney let off the leash." Why is this? I know Rooney's no stud but surely comparing him to a dog is just an insult to the poor creature.

Have a nice day and don't insult the next dog you meet!


nick said...

first ...damn i was here to comment on ur other post kumbe uve posted already

Acolyte said...

@ Nick
Yup, I have to make good use of office time and post!

egm said...

Hear ye on the proper use of office time.

I agree on the conflicting expectations of what a man is supposed to look like. And I am with you in your decision to be who you are as a man, not what others define you to be based on their expectations.

Joseph Walking said...

acolyte wachana na baba jimmy! si you guys voted for him.the guy has really messed up but i think sometimes people are overreacting.

oozing machizmo is back who said it went. how many kenyan guys do you see looking like those logomba boys lol

rooney :i dont know muuch about him but i do know that england soccer is wack its all hype. we hear it all the time the worldcup comes or euro cup but they always go home before the semis . its just like the british governement all hype no teeth stuck on past glories . they couldnt even remove uncle bob from power and they call themselves a world power

acolyte said...

@ egm
The main problem with men's fashion is that there are too many men who dress to make women happy and to follow trends as oppossed to what they are comfortable in.
@ joseph
I leave the complaining about politics to the afficianados, I prefer to satirise!But in terms of political leaders in Kenya more often it is a choice between bad and worse.
Yes that is one area that I give most Kenyan men props for, we don't bow to trends even though that makes Kenyan women say we don't dress well.Oh well, you cant please everyone!
I feel you about British soccer, they have a great league but most of their talent is imported.Let's see how far they get this time round!

m said...

He he!

Dr Doom is one cool (shut yo mouth!)

m said...

And i don't mean that hobbit in the Fantastic 4 movie! Juzeless!

guessaurus said...

Which poor creature, wooney or the woof woof... Anyway he does look like a bulldog, or as referred to here in the press, Shrek! LOLOLOL

Acolyte said...

@ M
Yes the Doom in the FF movie was weak!But I hear they are going to beef him up for the second movie.
@ guess
Dogs need to sue Wayne Rooney for spoiling their good name!

CawfeeGuy said...

hear hear! it's about time Dr.Doom took control.

acolyte said...

@ cawfeeboy
Spread the good word will ya?