Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bastards Pastors, Hanky Panky at Soho's,Somalia and tolerance

I see another bastard is misbehaving in the name of the Lord.Why do I have the feeling that he was not deported because he was white?Africans have been deported for less, but on the other hand the fact that Deya hasn't been deported gives me the benefit of the doubt.

Out of curiosity.I would like to know if any of you have received a forward called "spotted outside Sohos"?It is one of those rated MA forwards.Do you think that it's legit or not.If it's legit it seems that dudes are getting bolder and bolder with time in the good old city in the sun because as I remembered it, Soho's was not the most secluded place,For those of you who may be interested drop me a line in private and I will pass it to you.That's me, The Acolyte happily spreading rumours and smut for you!

People have always said that tribalism is one of the major things that hold Africa back.But look at Somalia?They are all of the same ethnicity but have let clan politics make them tear at each others throats for the last 15 years.I remember their parliament staging a royal rumble at the Grand Regency some time last year.With the imminent take over by Islamic militia some MPs are walking out.What would you rather have?A chaotic nation under democracy or a peaceful but repressed nation under sharia law?

After reading the girl next doors latest post and a conclusion I had arrived to yesterday, I resolved to stop being so cynical and trying to be more positive about people.But some people make it so hard!My room mate made some sludge in the name of food.By the way this is the scary thing, the boy left chicken and some liver in a pan on the cooker and they slept on the cooker for one whole night and one afternoon raw!And he came and cooked them the next day?!To make things worse I think he actually ate it!So he cooked some sludge, I dont know if it was mashed potatoes or orange stew but it was unidentifiable.He has left the goo in the pan on the cooker for the last 3 days.So today morning I got up and went to the kitchen only for my nose to be tackled and manhandled by a rancid smell.His sludge had been ripened by the summer heat!It had started smelling the night before but I thought it was the trash and vowed to take it out in the morning and that was why I was in the kitchen.In the old days I would have given him a grade A dressing down but when I found him I quietly told him that his food had spoiled and walked out of the house.Who says I can't change!

34 comments:

Half 'n' half said...

I agree with you on the tribalism issue, the few times I have been evacuated from my location is because some clan were fighting.

Orange stew???? Would love to have seen that. AND YOU QUIETLY WALKED OUT?

Couch 'tato said...

GADDAMN u post when im on aggregator and when i kuja to comment on monday musings kuna ingine

Acolyte said...

@ halfkenyahalfsudan
Tribalism and clannism are not doing Africa much good.
As for the orange goo.I resolved that I will not be his mother!

Acolyte said...

@ couch tato
Seems to me that you need to speed up a tad bit?Use those web shooters!

The.Hanyeé said...

I will reserve my comments on evangelism, particularly televangelism...I just believe in what Savage Garden said in "Affirmation" about them

Orange Stew...wot a killer! Some people! I live with 4 women and 2 of them are the tardiest people I know! Leaving underwear all over the place, not wiping the kitchen floor , hoping they could simulate a swamp there and not cleaning up after using the shower! How now! I kept quiet for a bit not wanting to be the cleanliness bitch..lakini I had enough..sometimes dressing down has to be done! Ningalikuwa na nyahunyo..

Msanii_XL said...

bweheheheh@ orange stew...that is killer.. your roomie is something

Movie Buff said...

The.Hanyee... see.. u r my soul mate... shhh... dont tell tato.. I was thinking about Affirmation.... and we all know about my love for Savage Garden...

As for yor roommie.... LOL.... wuussaaaa.... haha... He is a killer....

Good for you on taking the less cynic route.... How long do you think it will last???

Acolyte said...

@ the.hanyee
The less said about televangelism, the better.
As for the organge goo, I dont touch his concoctions.I always thought women were the neater sex but I got to know my small sister a bit better.Don't make me start wishing for a nyanhunyo!
@ msanii
If my roomie was the head chef, I would die of starvation!

acolyte said...

@ movie buff
My roomie is a test from God, that's what I think.
As for the less cynic route I will give it one day at a time as talking in terms of weeks would be a lie!

The Devious One said...

orange stew ? in the famous words of msanii < nini hii ?? hahahahhahaha U need to tafuta mke nyumbani shows and set ur tbv to only show that particular show when ure away and hes home...he might learn a thing or two about cooking....as for leavin meat on the stove raw and then cooking it...dude is beggin for some serious gastro intestinal whoop ass diarrhoea ( I suggest u buy enough lysol air sanitizer to mask the smell ) also... three bottles of pepto bismol for the boy...one in his bedroom..one in the bathroom ..one in the kitchen !

Keep us tuned with whatever concotion he mixes up in the jiko !!

Acolyte said...

@ devious one
I think I will have our cable set to 30 min meals full time!I think that dude must be used to eating such putrified meals coz he did not show a sign of stomach upset at all!
When the next combi comes up I will most def holla!

Udi said...

weee, aco, ebu go to my profile and pull up my email adress and email me the Soho stuff. I am suprised I am the only person here asking for it. I need to know what I am missing from the city in the sun.

as for ur roomate, u need to tell him to live maisha of takeout. mambo of cooking day old defrosted food is nonsense

acolyte said...

@ udi
My guy, si u know Kenyans do things chini ya meza.Peeps hollad at me on the dl!So you're not alone.
That maisha of takeout may save the boy from killing himself

Couch 'tato said...

ciiku i am so on to u..u lying creeping creep...but rest assured you will be back and see you know love will be waiting at home!

spicebear said...

okay, wait. was the stew orange cos something went terribly wrong or he was trying to make orange beef/chicken/whatever a la chinese recipes? me i would want to know, just cos. and if its mashed potatoes i suggest you make many print outs from the food network site and cooks.com so that he can see the light (you promised to be nice after all)

i could write several books on tele evangelism but i will put the brakes there. some people i have talked to dont like to hear anything bad bout their way of worship (the very same people who lecture me about catholicism) so nowadays i choose my battles.

a peaceful nation thats repressed ama a chaotic nation under democracy? neither, cos they will always swing from one extreme to another. at the risk of sounding idealistic, there has got to be another way.

makanga said...

There is only one clan you will ever need....In the great words of the wise prophet ODB,

"Wu tang is for the Children."

Mke Nyumabani DVD in Stores Aug 15th!!

And as for that televangelist, he's a kaburu doing what kaburus do best.

acolyte said...

@ couch tato
Ebu keep your domes at home!This is a place of peace!
@ spicebear
I have no idea why the mashed potatoes/stew was orange!I think I have ripped into televangelists enough so I will keep quiet.
Spicey dearest please highlight the other way for us!
@ makanga
I would be number one on the queue for the mke nyumbani dvd!
Wu tang clan ain't nuthing to f*ck with!As the skit goes!
As for that dude he's hustlin in the name of the Lord!

Archer said...

LOL @ Mke Nyumbani dvd! Rumour has it that she's my aunt so I'll be sure to pass on the compliments. Si you hustle 4 Vitimbi season 1 to 28 in the process?

Babe!!! said...

We need to catch up!

Pole about your nose...LMAO!!!

Holla!!!

Kabinti said...

i got that sohos fwd and like you said peeps have become TOO BOLD! though you cant be sure where that storo went down

Gay Nairobi Man said...

Aco,
I also received the Soho forward( Lord knows why I would want to see that!!) and to me it looks like another rumour. No one had identified that couple..this is Nairobi and surely we would know who they are..is it another website issue like Lornas?

Kenyanchick said...

I don't even want to get started on nightmare roomates, although seriously, you should have taken a picture of the Orange Stew. Priceless! Now, I've sent you an email - I need to see the Soho's email. I live in Nairobi, I hang out at Soho's, what if it was that night when...

mwasjd said...

Yaani you quietly walked out? Being nice is one thing, test from God is another. But we are talking about insolense of the highest order. I agree with the.hanyee, nyahunyo (any type)

MOCHA! said...

Ebu send me that Soho email!

mocha13@hotmail[dot]co[dot]uk

As for Orange stew....I dont wanna imagine his stool after that meal. EEWWWWWW!!!

Jadekitten said...

I received the Soho pics too....the only thing that can be a rumour is regarding the location, ama is gay nrb man asking if they were digitally altered (I mean, how else can the pics be a rumour???)

As for being positive about people, here's t wishing you a lot more fortitude....

:-)

acolyte said...

@ archer
Does that mean that you have mad cooking skills?As for vitimbi I am still waiting on season 1!
@ babe
I have recovered thanks!I will most def holla!
@ kabinti
That's true, there is no proof that the action went down outside sohos.
@ GNM
Yes that forward has alot of holes but then again it gives us something new to talk about.
@ Kenyanchick
The aroma might have sorted out the camera so I didnt want to risk it.As for the pics, I have sent them to you; they may be people you know!
@ mwasdj
I just took a look and decided it wasnt worth getting heated up about.But a nyahunyo seems very tempting right about now!
@ mocha
I will most def forward you dem pics!
@ jadekitten
I think GNM is talking about the location coz the pics look pretty genuine to me!With the speed those pics have spread I give Kenyans marks when it comes to sharing.

The Devious One said...

@ Mocha...yani U had to drag mambo ya pit latrine vbizna in the picha...but since my mind is unwittingly wicked...me wonders too !!!

acolyte said...

@ devious one
I didnt even want to think about what she said!Ick!

Girl next door said...

Tribalism is an obstacle in our development, but people will always find a reason to fight whether it's by clan or region. I wouldn't want to live under sharia law--even although peace and security are important. Your roommate is unbelievable! He actually cooked chicken that had been sitting out for over a day and ate it. That is gross. It must have taken a lot of restraint not to yell at him. But there are people who just never get it.

Kenyanchick said...

Just saw the pix. (Sigh of relief that I don't, um, recognise anyone, cough cough.) But DAMN! Kenya mpya, bwana. Cellphone cameras are going to do people in...

mdkims said...

buy a Maya Angelou cookbook for your roommate, he will definitely need it, and in any case it would be a lovely way of getting in touch with his roots, if he is African that is ... i sent you an e-mail(mwafrika2-gmail) and I abso-freakingly-lutely desire to see them pics ... it would probably be the first time in my life that i will appreciate forwards ... ciao

acolyte said...

@ Girl Next Door
I understand what you are saying because shaaria law tends to be even harsher on women.
Some people like my roomie live on their own rules and I have learnt to live with that.
@ kenyanchick
Well at least you can sleep in peace knowing it isnt anyone close to you.Now people need to be afraid, very afraid!
@ mdkims
My roomie is Kenyan and since he has lived in shags all his life he is in more in touch with his roots than I am!
I got your mail and hollad back!It's amazing how smut can make peeps perk up!

irena said...

Kudos on your less cynical self. it is good to evolve. Believe me, I used to be very cynical, no wonder the "alter ego observation I wrote earlier" but I'm learning to take time to understand why people behave the way they do.

acolyte said...

@ Irena
Thanks for the encouragement!Cynicism is very addictive and easy to slide into!