Friday, December 09, 2005

Good girlfriend=bad wife,Good wife=bad girlfriend

I have decided to let the Instigator take the place of the Acolyte today.This post is just a different perspective of Mutumia's post Virginity or something like it.In that post what came up was the issue of how it seems ok for men to sleep around and their repuations do not suffer as badly as that of women while on the other hand let when a chic has let a few too many cars in her tunnel (Acolyte ™ 2005 ).She is branded a langa and all other sorts of epithets.
Anyhow I was chatting to a chic I used to work with and she is what you would call a chaste church chick (Nick ™ 2005).The kind of gal you could take home to meet mummy.We used to go to the same church in my churchgoing days and she would teach Sunday school in addition to being on the intercession team.This gal is so modest that she always wears skirts (no jeans) even when she goes for tennis lessons she wears a tracksuit no short tennis skirts for her.She is also pro family (likes kids),plays by the "rules" when it comes to courtship,hardworking (she's on her phd now) and is anti premarital sex.So when I was chatting to her and we came to how she has realised that to many jamaas she is good wife material but bad girlfriend material (if you arent a church jamaa that is).This is because this gal doesnt do many things that the kawa jamaa enjoys doing with his boys and some gals such as catching pints,smoking,watching EPL/NFL,listening to secular music (she loves gospel mpaka her sis used to sing on sing and shine!),discussing (we men don't gossip!) and other stuff that is so kawa for us.Most of us men don't mind dating and catching strokes with chics who drink like fishes,swear like sailors and dress like hoes ( okay not that extreme but you know what I'm getting at ).Men love to date kinda risque,exciting women but when it comes to settling down most of us will opt for a gal who looks nuturing,responsible,family oriented and can take care of our home.By the way this reminds me of a story, There is this pal of our crew; he was like 2 years ahead of us in high school.Now this jamaa went on the rave and met this chic.Very fly,outgoing,enjoyed her pints and was the life of the party.So what could have been a one night stand or CFA turned into a relationship and despite warnings ( PSAs coz u can never doubt the mind misting abilities of good shag ) the pal went ahead and married the chic.So dude thinks that now that they are married they can settle down at digs and club less?Wapi!This chic used to leave the dude food in the oven as she has gone to club/bar hope with her single mamas to add insult to injury this mama was doing a McJob (job that doesnt have upward prospects and brings in minimum wage) and had no intention of working on that.Raha and fun had to come first.So later down the line a kid comes into the equation.So one day I was with the boys in one the many Westlands bars catching pints and the chic is still there life of the party with some jamaa darting her (wedding ring not withstanding ) when we see the hubby come in, they had a blazing row and it seems the chic had left the kid who was only a few months old at home alone.The hubby caused and she told him "When you hooked up with me you knew I was a chic of the clubs!Did you think I would stop because we are married?!"At that point we shook our heads and a word of wisdom came from my pal who was mostly known for hard hitting tackles on the rugby pitch,"When I get married I am going to hook up with a chic of Kanisa!" to which we all agreed as we continued drinking, or as one of my pals said "What is found in the rave stays on the rave!".I will give my own personal opinion I been with chics who are the bomb to hang out with.good strokes,storo etc but they don't have a hope in hell when it comes to long term prospects.Some of them had no plans past next month while I have a 5 year plan,have the housekeeping skills of a four year old boy,will serve you 3 burnt offerings in the name of breakfast/lunch/dinner,have illegitimate brats (yes I'm going there!),have emotional baggage,too much drama coz of too many past boyfriends,act like money burns a hole in their pocket so are always broke and expect you to fix it; And there are women who have all these problems as one person (sheesh).Men can over look all many of those qualities in the short term!!We dont mind having you as our short term if you have mileage and some of these issues but we don't want them in the LONG TERM!!!This is not to say that you will not find a triple C who has some of these problems but all in all most of them carry less.And yes many men me included are ready to sacrifice Kama Sutra strokes for what some of those triple Cs bring coz after all you spend very little time in bed but lots of time living with the person so you dont want all those other issues cropping up.Yes this rule is not ironclad because there are good girlfriends who make good wives and and vice versa. -Grenade #1-As for jamaas hoeing around and expecting their chics to be chaste, what we expect is for a select number of you to hoe around as much as possible and then for the rest of you to be chaste so we can settle down in peace.Please refrain from profanity as you disregard and protest the hypothesis above!
Grenade #2 "Let the games begin!!!!"-Instigator dons breastplate of superciliousness,helmet of erudition and grabs sword of resolution-Let's begin the weekend on a fun note shall we!


LooneyMate said...

you are invited to take part in this Acolyte...check out

LooneyMate said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nick said...

Damn the only other person to reach here first was well...ME! eat that msanii with a little east coast swing(Motownphilly)

Aco u do know i do have ur back after we have pearl harbor up in here saving private Acolyte after the armageddon
(btw i can see u goin down mercilessly hee hee for speakin the truth)

-there is this theory of chaste chicks being all repressed that eventually they reveal a nasty kinky side to them that u didnt know existed unlike the upfront wild card who has no secrets in the closet?
...u know better the devil u know...

-personally been lookin for good girlfriend=good wife..woiye and am still searching...cause they are few..oh wait is it cuase am not a ravist and am seen as good husband but waste of time till then...damn...since when did roles reverse???

acolyte aka instigator said...

@ Nick
btw you have just revealed a pivotal point too many chics show all their cards way too early!At least the triple C keeps you guessing!But like I said even if the triple C is bollocks in bed at least she can be trained and if not at least she has other redeeming qualities coz marriage isnt bedroom mwisho.
Nick I feel you on that combi.I tried and they were so few and far between and there is mad compe for the good girlfriend=good wife combo!Yes roles are indeed reversed nowdays.Pole sana!

Farmgal said...

aco aco aco I dont even know where to start.
My buddies and I say if men go looking for a woman in church, they will find a woman who is there to find a good church going bloke. Most of the time they end up hooking up coz they are on the look out while the true church going boys/girls are busy worshipping.

my expect the girls they want to marry be having very good morals. The men on the other hand can do what they like, come home at 3 or 4 am smelling of booze and cheap perfume.

aco my dear I honestly would blog herebut I wont. I agree with most of what you have said.

Tee J said...

Is Sing and Shine still on?

Don't be too scared, you have a point. As long as you don't think that all women who go clubbing wont make good wives when the time comes eh?

Mignon said..., it's true that a lot of guys are busy catching rubs with the kind of chick u describe above and when they think they're ready to settle down, they start looking for virgin mary. i guess it's never occured to guys that there's a lot of chicks that don't exactly wanna marry a guy that's been around the block and back a couple of times nick u'r right. role reversal is so there, but don't worry. like the church gal, ur time will come :)

spicebear said...

kweli umejitetea. the ideal chic is one who can cook, doesn't rave much if at all, pure, a good nurturer and so on and so forth.

prob comes in when these good girls hook up with men who will not change their habits and continue sleeping around and associating with the "bad girls" at the club. (here we are not talking about real men, the good ones who are few and far between) yup, these are the men who have two families, give AIDS to their wives and expect to be tolerated with a smile and that attitude that says "boys will be boys." what some of these men are after is a woman that they can dominate without too much trouble and who is willing to put up with their bad habits. note i said some. i don't know about the rest.

there are so many things wrong with a boy's boy looking for a good girl i do not even know where to begin. but the double standards still exist and that's a fact.

acolyte said...

@ farmgal
Yes many times the pretenders do end up hooking up in church!Ands yes too many men think they should be able to get away with double standards!
@ Tee J
There is nuthin wrong with a chic clubbing it's what you do there that counts and the fact that you should know when it is time to retire
@ Cute angel
Sad but what you said is true..guys want to eat their cake and eat it too!
@ spicebear
Yes too many times bad men happen to good women and what is worse is that these good women put up with them (a post for another day!)Yes double standards do exist and will for a long time to come!

mutumia said...

Lakini that chick was a bit extreme-- clubbing is a lifestyle not a religion LOL

Irena said...

It is a risky game ,go in with eyes wide open and expect the unexpected

Acolyte said...

@ mutumia
yes there are some people who take some things to the extreme
@ Irena
yes love is indeed a risky game

Prousette said...

Acolyte relax I am not going to bite you because you have made a valid point on a very sensitive topic, the triple standards applied.
That chic you just described that left a baby home alone is surely on the very extreme side of things.

You must admit tho' that even a man has to change for the marriage putting pints way down on the list of needs, especially when you successfully transmit your genes to a little other person so this is the basis for those standards.

As a woman I'd be cautious about a guy who started sowing oats all over the place decades ago as they might eventually be dumped on my doorstep when the other mamas finally trace him and then what would I do?

acolyte said...

@ prou
Yes I do agree with you that even tho less gravity is placed on a man's past it too can come back to haunt the both of you hence the need to be careful about what we do!