Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Traits of A Real Man

In the new millenium I have noticed that alot of what made a man a man have been redefined with the changing status of gender in this day and age.Things that were taboo for men and women in the past no longer are ie it is ok for men to wear some form of make up, cry, and go for facials; women can now take leadership roles with no problem whatsoever.I think to some extent that has been good as women on one hand have more freedom then they have a long time ago and doors that were once closed to them are now open.Sisters give yourselves a big hand.But on the other hand many men and boys are lost to whom they are and what they should be doing.This is a topic that can be examined in depth but seeing as I have a final to study for and have to find a way to conjure up a meal with a next to empty fridge I will give ya'll an article and will comment at intervals.
Traits of A Real Man

Today's lesson is a throwback to the good old days when school teachers still had a whip, and you were disgraced if you showed up at home with a "D" on your report card. Today is a lesson in basics; the basics of being a man. Let's call it Manhood 101 .

With all this knowledge I have at my disposal, you may be asking, "Mr. Mafioso, why waste your valuable time with trivial lessons when there are other, more powerful lessons I need to learn about business and respect?"

Simple.

To build a great house, you need a strong foundation on which to put all the other pretty things. To build a great man, you also need a solid foundation on which to add all the other little things that set the real men apart from the stronzos .

Over the last few years of writing this little column, I've learned that too many men have no foundation, no basis on which to build the principles I teach. There are many ways to define a man, and different people have different definitions, so I'm going to skip all that crap and tell you the only thing you need to know: my way is the correct way and that's it, that's all. Capisce?

a real man reads

If you don't agree, go read the column of some guy from Arkansas who thinks owning a pickup truck is what defines a man. You'll see how far you get with his advice.
I agree with this whole heartedly!Remember when we were kids and dad knew almost everything?Also knowledge is power!You will never go anywhere if you don't know anything!

Trait #1: A real man is strong
A real man doesn't cry, doesn't moan, doesn't complain, doesn't get sick, and doesn't need to go to the doctor every time he sneezes. A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. A real man accepts responsibility for his actions and his words. A real man is firm. If life is a bitch, a real man will slap her and move on.

A real man is macho; a real man is tough; a real man doesn't show emotions. A real man is the backbone of his family and doesn't have time to be weak. If spiders scare you, you'll never be a real man.
Well I think that it is ok to be sick but not to moan about it!I do agree with the rest of what he has to say.It is ok to show emotions but not to cry.Unless someone really close to you dies a man has no business crying in public, if you must cry do it in private.People need a rock to lean on and it might be you....

Trait #2: A real man is focused
A real man knows the difference between what's important and what isn't. A real man doesn't waste time on stupidities that don't bring him any profit. Sure, there are things you can do as a hobby -- I like to shoot ducks -- but it must have a purpose. The purpose of my hobby is to improve my aim, and I don't have to tell you whether or not that's a useful thing in my line of work.

A real man focuses on power, money and family. He doesn't focus on sex. Sex comes as a result of having power, money and a wife (and if she doesn't satisfy you, there are plenty of other women who will, especially when you are powerful and rich).
Makes so much sense I am not even going to say anymore I may spoil it

Trait #3: A real man knows the importance of family
A real man will keep his family strong and pass on his ancestors' history and traditions. A real man knows that his children are God's gift and should be treated as such, even if he disciplines them from time to time.

A real man must also remember his other Family , his organization. In my world, both my family and my Family hold the same importance, I protect them both with all my might. If you have a Family , don't forget where your loyalties lie and who has your back when you need it.

Trait #4: A real man doesn't gossip
A real man keeps his mouth shut. He shelters information and rations his words. A real man does not reveal more than he has to, and doesn't engage in girlie talk about others. A real man doesn't discuss things he doesn't know about, or people he has never met.
A man after my own heart!I despise talking for the sake of talking.That is y I find it so hard here when I am in places and situations people act like silence is painful.Talk less and think more...

Trait #5: A real man's word is his bond
When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can't keep a promise, he doesn't give his word. A real man would rather die than break his word. A real man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and must be taken at face value. That is why he rations them (see above).
I agree with this 100% and practice it too!A pal who is all talk and doesn't do jack isn't worth the time of day.Your word is the most important thing you can give, if it isnt worth sh*t then you aren't worth sh*t!

Trait #6: A real man strives to be a role model
A real man respects himself and others at all times, unless, of course, he has been disrespected. A real man sets an example for his disciples and especially his children. I never bring my work home, so my children only know me as their father and not as a waste management executive. You should do the same; a real man sets the tone for his children and keeps them from discovering that he has weaknesses.
Well I agree with most of this but I think that once in a while a dad should show his kids that he has some weakness ( nuthin major ) so they know that he is human too.
Trait #7: A real man makes his own fortune
A real man doesn't settle for handouts or charity when it comes to his personal fortune. A real man isn't satisfied with papa's money. He spits on Lady Luck and decides his own destiny. A real man who inherits the goods from his forefathers takes his inheritance and turns it into 10 times what it was.
Too many people want to complain about their lot in life and do little about it
Trait #8: A real man doesn't look like a woman
A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair, and he doesn't shave his chest. Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.

A real man has at least three suits (with a mandatory pinstriped one) that cost more than a roomful of escorts. A real man wears a suit at least three times a week. Any man who doesn't know how to tie a tie should hand in his testicoli immediately. And learn how to order a bottle; I'm sick of seeing babbos ordering Colt 45 in fine establishments.
Well I am sure the end of the first para of that point hasnt pleased some of the gals so I am not going to comment on it.I dont believe in wearing a suit for the sake of wearing it so we disagree on that.As for wearing a tie I could tie a windsor know from when I was 6 and did so for a whole 12 years of school.When it comes to ordering wine there are on-line guides which I have read but I have never met a woman (other then my mum) worth taking to a 5 star restaurant...

lesson over

So what have you learned here today, class? You learned that you have a lot of homework to do before you can call yourself a real man. A real man is the essence of manhood because, by definition, he has achieved the pinnacle of his role.
You see? That was me trying to be a smart ass. Here's a bonus trait: a real man keeps it simple. If you know big words, use them rarely and appropriately, at least in front of morons who think they're smarter than you. Lesson over.


Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.
I think I will dig up some more of his stuff for post-mortem!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL....finally, i beat the usuals to post a comment first. (sorry acolyte....just had to mention. tihihi)

Trait#5 is my favourite. I hate it when promises are broken.....kwanza when lame excuses accompany an explaination. drives me mad!

Anonymous said...

@ mocha
Yes that bothers me 100% too!Welcome to the number 1 club!
@ Keguro
The wonderful thing with english is that it has more then one meaning to whoever who reads or hears it.This is my rejoinder to your translation.
1.A real man communicates but doesnt talk for the sake of talking as I have said earlier.
2.I have no problem with admitting physical weakness but it's the bitching and whinging about it that gets to me.About your dad well there are some ppl who take it to the max.A true man takes care of his body by eating well,exerrcising and going for physical check ups.
3.Please no feminist propaganda here there is nuthin that suggests anything like that in the passagee
4.Exactly!!!I hate that D.L crap if you're going to be gay then be gay no inbetween.
5.Well I dunno where you picked that from coz there is the part of making your own fortune so often you have to start from nothing to get there.I dont agree with the able bodied part coz some of the greatest men in history weren't but hey you can find whateverr meaning you want in the passages.I guess Ive said enuff....

Spidey/Tato said...

cough cough msanii did u slip in a urinal?

-ati if life was a bitch he'd slap her and move classic line

let me pull a keguro and translate as well

#1: he do9esnt have to be strong he just has to learn how to shut it and take it. he puts up and shuts up. he realises life is a bitch and that it only gets worse

#2 must have a family: be it his peeps or family he must have one let alone importance

#3 i could have swore guys gossip the best. diff is we dont gossip we swap storos-quick and to the point without gory details or additions. e.g "Hey did u hear msanii has one testicle? but i loved his last post....so what we having for lunch?"

Anonymous said...

@ Nick
hee hee hee That's a good one!
1.I feel you on that one 110%
2.Yes the importance of family be it real or friends cant be understated!
3.We dont gossip, we discuss and exchange info!:D

Anonymous said...

@ mutumia
Yes as you can see from my comments there are some things that i dont see eye to eye with him on but we do agree on the spirit in which most of them were said.But the kind of man I hate most...the apologist...the guy who sounds sorry bout the fact that he was made a man.

Anonymous said...

Slides in at whole namba..8 for once i had to earn my keep...

@Aco
".We dont gossip, we discuss and exchange info!:D" ....true story

DL brothers= Greedy summa bitches

@Lardy boy....prease tuheshimiane...he he he. how can speak about MABENGO and still think about food..*VIOLENTLY THROWS UP*

Anonymous said...

@ Msanii
Seems work caught up wituu this time round.Good to know that we are on the same page!As for you and nick I am waiting for round XXXVI!

spicebear said...

aaaaui! i have to put in my two cents and say that men do gossip - calling it stories doesn't take away from that fact. yes, yes, women gossip too but take it from someone who has seen it both ways - MEN GOSSIP. (hmm, i know i have stirred up a hornets nest ... wacha tu)

back to the topic at hand. a real man isn't afraid to apologise when he is in the wrong and knows when to ask for help. i'm all for strong men but all the macho stuff sometimes tends to get juvenile behind all that chest thumping. i guess thats what keguro was trying to put across.

Anonymous said...

@ spicebear
Well like I said I am for moderation in all things.I dont expect a jamaa to be crying over everything but on the other hand I dont expect him to be quiet when he's dying.Their is a middle ground, problem is that few ppl know where it is.Well like the saying goes it takes a real man to know when he is wrong, so i feel you on that one too.but I still insist that we men discuss :D!

spicebear said...

thank goodness for someone who understands that there is a middle ground. i would rather have a strong man in touch with his emotions than a man who always trying to "be the man" especially when his boys are watching.

i was in a mixed primary school then an all girls school then a school where ratio of boys to girls was like 12:1. the latter is where rumours (especially mailicious ones) spread like wildfire ... i now believe men are the biggest gossips of all. wachana na story zenu :-)

Anonymous said...

@ spicebear
Yes it's hard to be the voice of reason but I am sure someone out there appreciates my hard work.Like it or not no-one is as malicous as a woman.Women have the harshest tongues there is women have destroyed people's lives with their mouths....

Anonymous said...

-LOL at greedy summa bicth
-did u just violently throw up the other remainin nut??

Acolyte said...

@ cute angel
diff strokes for diff folks....
@ nick
yes that was a good one...

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree with you more! &
I'll quote you.... You learned that you have a lot of homework to do before you can call yourself a real man. A real man is the essence of manhood because, by definition, he has achieved the pinnacle of his role. ..... Unfortunately I am yet to meet a real man and am not getting any younger. If lack-of-gossip among the male species was a decisive factor of (me) getting to into a relationship, then i'd have no man to call my own.

Anonymous said...

@ Lily
yes its' a long hard road.But just remember dont place any impossible standards on potential mates coz you most prob will end up empty handed...

Anonymous said...

Please guys, lets aknowledge where we get stuff from. This been pick, plagiarised from www.askmen.com.
Aint original

Acolyte said...

I will give ya'll an article and will comment at intervals.
Doesn't that in itself point to the fact that it isn't my work? Why would I comment on my own work at intervals? But yes I will give the url of the site if it irks you so much. Even though I did put down Mr Mafioso there......

Anonymous said...

Sounds like MkMende is a real man.