One step forward, two steps back.....

This article was in the Saturday magazine for this weekend.I have taken the liberty of reproducing it here for those whom didn't read it.Please scroll to the bottom to get my opinion.....

FEMALESPEAK: Second place ain't so bad Story by NJOKI KAIGAI Publication Date: 2/4/2006

One of the few topics that remain in my head from my college days is the SWOT analysis. I can still hear our professor reciting the dynamics and importance of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats analysis in decision-making. A former schoolmate of mine has decided to apply the principles of SWOT in helping her sort out her long-standing problem of lack of a husband. She is not alone. All around us, we are confronted by an environment that is frighteningly lacking in eligible men. Most single men are often commitment phobes, unemployed or romantically challenged. For this reason, I have decided to put some thought into my friend's SWOT analysis. In her opinion, there are numerous opportunities and strengths in women who are willing to take up the No. 2 slot. To begin with, a man who is willing to take up a second wife is a tested and tried commodity. There is no trying to figure out or approximate his net worth or career progression in the next decade. The man will most definitely have made some significant strides in creating some measure of fortune and comfort. A second wife is not required to make the numerous sacrifices that first wives have to. There is no spending long hours in wholesale shops, no breaking the back planting and weeding, no losing sleep over egg production or the fertility of cows. To make matters even better, men consider taking a second wife as a measure of success. For this reason, they treat their second wives much better than their first wives. If you choose to become a second wife, you will be a trophy to be decked out in finery and shown off to his pals. By this time, a man will have acquired some measure of finesse and will have gained some understanding of what romance is all about. He is less likely to forget birthdays and anniversaries and is more likely to insist on taking you out for Valentine's and will have no qualms about buying a few trinkets as penance for his errors. To make matters even better, the woman can throw tantrums and get away with it since most men mellow by the time they get middle age. You can force the man to get jobs for your clan of relatives by sulking for a day or two. You can squeeze trips abroad for you and your girlfriends just by imposing a few sanctions in the bedroom. Being a second wife could also open doors in careers such as diplomacy and blackmail. In the first few years especially, second wives get to make outrageous demands by threatening to leave if the demands are not met. A second wife gets to blackmail the man with impossible things. If he doesn't come through, you can brand him a non-performer and threaten to expose this to the general public. For some strange reason, these men seem to respond to threats and menaces from second wives. Another good thing about the Number Two slot alternative is that you save lots of money and time since you don't have to walk down any aisle. At the same time, you don't have to waste time trying to schmooze up to sisters and mothers-in-law. Leave all that to the first wife. By the time you opt to become a second lady, you are guaranteed to have attracted the wrath of the first wife and their offspring and their relations. There is therefore no need for you to spend hours toiling over hot stoves to make dishes that will wipe off hostility from the opposition. A second wife is spared the hassles of wedding committees and the pain of diets and exercise to try and fit into the perfect wedding dress. Her beauty is intact for she will not get crease lines from struggling to create a colour scheme that will be the envy of the town. The time and money saved can be used for more worthwhile ventures like manicures, facials and pedicures and, of course, endless shopping. Being a second wife is not a full time job because you get to banish the man to his other home when the need arises. This will give you a break from his snores, smelly socks and having to cook everyday. The man of dual homes will occasionally have to take a break to serve time in household Number One. While he makes his courtesy calls, you can relax and enjoy a few benefits of singledom. A second wife from time gets to hog the entire bed, to bond with girlfriends without feeling any sense of shame. You can occasionally banish the man to the 'other' home when you need time alone or when you need to pull off a secret rendezvous. Being a second wife can also do wonders for a woman's reputation. Most women will consider you a femme fatale of sorts and myths and legends will be created about your hubby-snatching tricks. The span of your beauty and scope of bedroom tricks will be intensely discussed and grossly exaggerated in homesteads around the land. They say there's no such things as bad publicity. So for those who are publicity hungry, nothing works wonders more than being a second wife. Of course, the path of a second wife is riddled with problems and threats. Your time is limited because any man who acquires two wives will usually have no qualms about getting wife Number Three. If you want to be one, you are advised to prepare yourself for tough times when children and relations from the first wife feel the urge to clobber you for snatching the man of the house. There also will always be the threat of being disinherited upon the man's death and the permanent taint of being in the second slot. The reasonable conclusion from the SWOT analysis is that being a second wife is a viable option for single, lonely women. They say half a loaf is better than none so half a man might just be better than none.

Now at this point in time I must ask the ladies out there the status of having a man so important that it would drive you to have an affair with a married man or be his second wife so you can say that you have one?
There are those cases of married men who snare the girl and then later on admit they are married and give the line that they are going to leave the wife "someday", but why as a woman go out and try to hook up with a man whom you know is married?
A married man may seem like he has all the qualities that you are looking for, but he isn't yours!Why not get a man whom is a diamond in the rough and bring out those qualities in him?It is hard work but the wife of the man you tried to steal did that and when you do the same rest assured that he is yours when you marry him.
Doesn't it ever occur to some of these knuckleheads that most men will never leave their wives?!In fact when you stop being his secret moment of love and more like a second load the chances of him marrying you lessen drastically!And anyway if he leaves his wife for you, chances are he will leave you too when he tires of you or gravity takes effect!
There is nothing wrong with being single!I don't know why people especially women place so much value in being in a relationship?!It doesnt make you anymore richer or beautiful.I think that is one reason women stay in abusive relationships.Many women would rather be miserable with someone then happy alone!It's time to move on from that mindset even though Valentine's is coming (Special post coming for that!)
Anyway all ranting aside that I leave to some specific chics in KBW.
KBW ladies please be honest and tell us how many of you would consider being number 2 or being with a married man.Please be honest because with many people what they say and do are two different things.......