Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Marriage overhyped!

Today is one of those days when inspiration for posting flies out of the window but I have decided to give it a shot none the less.
I remember in my church going days the way the Pastor and the rest of the church would hype marriage.These folk used to make it look like if you are not married that you are missing the greatest party ever, you are incomplete and that you need to be praying.
I once recall the Pastor telling the people who are married to stand up and that the young and singletons should give them a big hand!One would have thought that mob had singlehandedly started a war on poverty and death!
Another pal of mine told me how he went to a singles ministry at NPC and how the Elder leading the meeting had called the single men forward and laid hands on them praying for God to give them utterance so they may find favour with the ladies.I mean if you are so tongue tied around women that you cant get your groove on, then indeed only God can help you!
Then we all know that ladies make up around 70% of the church or more.So when an eligible "brother" checks into the scene claws will fly.But since we are in the church that can't happen.What happens instead is that prayers fly.I once recall one girl "binding" other gals prayers' with hers so that the "brother" would be blind and deaf to all other girls apart from her.Some other girl went to extent of draping herself on a dudes car for a few minutes (in his absence of course), that was her way of claiming him for herself spiritually.
Of course the "brothers" can't be left out of this.I will lay into them and the rest of the church folk tommorow!Feel free to share your adventures!

18 comments:

Mutumia said...

until you meet her and it;s all you want to do, I'll let you have this fiction sweetie... lakini si you know we could make it a very noble institution? What say you?

nick said...

overhyped? understatement have ever had an aunt put pressure on u "ati i give u two years to get married now...akina mike,baby and wangechi(my cousins) were married at the ages 28,25,23)..."

KenyanMusings said...

tihih, looool@ singletons giving a hand.....

Hello you? How have you been?

mocha! said...

In this day and age of divorces and affairs.....i wouldnt think so. Then again, the hints I am getting from my mum....eeeiiisshhh!

How have you been my friend?

Have a nice day!

The Devious One said...

very few people take marriages seriously and very few last in this day and age where divirce is only a phone call away ....

Wacha I go find my victim, club him and drag him to my lair where there shall be a tuxedo waiting or him and we shall live happily ever after....not !

acolyte said...

@ mutumia
I said no 10 years ago and I am still saying no now!But muts dearest...is that a proposal?
@ nick
So who have you lined up?Times running out!
@ KM
Hi!Im great, congrats on the project!
@ mocha!
I guess your ma thinks you are of age now!I have been sawa, no complaints!
@ devious one
Good luck in your search!You should know that good men are very hard to find!

KenyanMusings said...

Thank you kind sire.....

kelitu said...

LOL! @ the mama who draped herself on the brother's mots in order to claim him. Yaani it has now come to this?!

Movie Buff said...

I agree... it is overhyped. One day I decided to be brave and tell my mum that I dont think I will ever get married..... he! War I am telling u...

I am trying to stay away from ur blog because school is over for u and I have one more week.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

kelitu said...

acolyte kwani you were watching Opraha jana, the way she was condemning marriages and what not. i was sooo not impressed by her. I am begining not to like miss O anymore.

acolyte said...

@ KM
You are welcome!
@ Kelitu
Kumeharibika!Good men are hard to find!
@ Movie buff
I am sure your mum was not amused!I have told my mum the same thing and she is in denial!Let her keep on waiting!Your one week will pass!
@ kelitu
Now that is an Oprah that I need to see!Seems for once she is talking sense!People need to wake up and smell the coffee!

The Devious One said...

ati a good man is hard to find......NOT !
Its more like A HARD MAN IS GOOD TO FIND....

he he he he he

Kenyangal said...

A man that finds a wife finds a good thing! Most men become sucesses after they are married because marriage gives them a vision and purpose (having to provide for the wifey and family.) and its been proven that married men are healthier, happier and live longer than unmarried ones (must be the home cooking.) I think Oprah is wrong for warning women against it as this is not in their best interest (if Steadman was to fall very sick in hospital Oprah by law wouldn't have as many rights over medical decisions as a wife would, partners have been known not to be allowed to see their sick dying man in hospital because they have no legal or blood claim to them) and anyway in case of things getting nasty down the road marriage protects both parties better than a partnership would. I think its plain silly to argue against it. TRIVIA did you know that Abraham lincoln was a social outcast and political failure until he got a wife? Only after he got married did he get clear about his political and career aspirations and his wife helped build him into a socially acceptable man. Though on the other hand draping yourself over some guys car to claim him spiritually is a bit extreme..

Girl next door said...

Ati pastors are praying for single people? It's the married and engaged couples who need those prayers! Now, the girl draping herself on a dudes car is just too funny! Is that for real? I haven't seen that Oprah episode on marriage yet.

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
I only knew that it would be a short matter of time before you rolled in with your marriage propaganda.Some of the greatest men in history were single.In fact getting married makes men ordinary and unremarkable as since they have to provide for their wife and children they can no longer follow their dreams which lead to greatness because dreams dont put bread and butter on the table but that boring 9 to 5 job does.
The gap between lifespan from single men and married men has become insignificant as men can take care of themselves now.When women became independant so did men and we do know that most women nowadays can cook for crap!As for Abe Lincoln's case I see it as amazing that you hold up a society that held back women (they were not even allowed to vote, work outside home etc).BTW nowadays the law is beginning to recognise the rights of common law partners aka things like palimony etc.I think Oprah did raise some valid points for those with wedding fever to consider.
@ girl next door
Yes those who are married do need the prayers more then we do!But people do extreme things in search of a mate!They need to look within themselves first before looking for someone!

Prousette said...

The church has one goal in mind: continue the conversion of the masses and what better way than have them born already converted? Thence comes the continuous yapping over marriage made in heaven, bliss, mishmash and all that.

And we shall not forget the financial aspect of this. The more the adherents the richer the church.

Anonymous said...

there is nothing wrong with marriage but if you want to single its all good also .just dont make marriage out to be bad. dont defame and attack the church.if you are happy being single good. if you want a man good its the phone sex guys like mental we should all watch out for lol haha ok that was low lol

acolyte said...

@ prou
You have said something that a good pal always told me, since the church has failed in making converts they are now creating them!
@ anon
There is nowhere that I have said that there is anything wrong with marriage.It's the blatant over glorification of marriage that I am against.Plus the church is far from blameless on this and many other issues; as long as I have breathe within my body I will call them out on those issues!Yeah we do need to watch out for those phone fiends!