History Repeats Itself...............

The Man of the Hour, Pepe Reina shot stopper extraordinaire! (pic from soccernet.com)

The critics said it was a fluke and that if it wasn't for the "ghost goal" Liverpool would have never gotten through to the finals of the Champion's League final. Well history repeated itself, the "Special One" was proved to be rather ordinary. If you were in a trench somewhere, yesterday Liverpool beat Chelski 4 - 1 in a penalty shoot out to move to the finals in Athens!
As usual Mourinho refused to acknowledge defeat, the less said about the "special one" the better. Now bring on AC Milan once more!

Now it would be rude of me to leave out the ladies, so here is a story for you.......

For Women Only

This is a laugh for all those women out there who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they get to be "intimate" with their OB/GYN doctor! In Sydney, Australia one of the radio stations pays money ($1000-$5000) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $5000....

"I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynecologist. Early one morning I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m . I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 a.m.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but I didn't respond. When the appointment was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day was normal - some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school while my six-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mum, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it."

Shine away ladies, shine away...........

Whose Your Daddy and other issues...

After reading this story, I wouldn't be mistaken if I started thinking that someone at the Nation read my post on paternity fraud and got inspired by it; only thing is that the statistics are far higher than I thought. But anyway as the writer says, in some situations, ignorance is indeed bliss! I would like to be the fly on the wall of a house where a man has found out that the kids he has been toiling for aren't his, pure drama I tell you.

Moving on, it seems the muppet queen got a story on BBC. Frankly I don't see what she has done that merits a story, there are many other media personalities in Kenya whose extra curricular projects are of more interest. Anyway since the story didn't make Kenya seem like we are still in the stone age ala CNN and the other Western media houses, I really can't grouse. Plus her radio show does entertain once in a while. Go Muppet Queen!

I have noticed that their has been a steady increase in the number of new mothers blogging about their experiences ie mrembo, kpundit and now Medusa (baby still enroute). I guess it adds a new facet to the Kenyan blogs out there because at one point the demographic of Kenyan bloggers and their fans had become very narrow. I with them all the best even though kids aren't my piece of cake, yesterday I had an arguement with my big sister about the whole kids issue. She says that I am selfish by not wanting to have kids and that it is our responsibility as humans to procreate, I told her that it is good to have the choice to do so but it is not the main reason for our existance on earth, unlike other lower species we do have more to our lives than just living, getting mates and reproducing. I guess I shall just have to get used to hearing that kind of shaming language from the kiddie crew as the years go by.

Soccer Player Quote of the day - 'There is a smear campaign against me with facts, which are not true' - Toni Polster

Interesting Stuff I Had To Share..........

I came across this wonderful piece on the net and I had to share it! A wonderful exposition on a word many of us use on a daily basis.

The most interesting word in the English Language

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck." It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression "fuck YOU!"
6. Disgust "fuck me."
7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
9. Despair "fucked again..."
10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the fuck are we."
13. Disbelief "UNfuckINGBELIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
18. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
20. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
21. Directions "fuck off."
22. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherfucker."
It can be political- "fuck George Bush!"


It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the fuck was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima
" Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" General Custer
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic
"Thats not a real fucking gun." John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?" Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll." Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive." Commander of Space Shuttle "Challenger"
"What fucking map?" Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that." Albert
Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!" Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?" Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" Michaelangelo
"fuck a duck." Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!" Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass." Noah

Besides which I am soooo happy that Friday has come round! Being a grown up is tough! I want to go back to College and have a ball hanging out, going for class and partying once in a while. In the meanwhile let my shell shocked self share some more humour with you.

A man wakes up one morning with the filthiest hangover and no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table.

He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean shirt on top. The bedroom is immaculate.On the bedside table is a note, which says,

'Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.'

Downstairs, he finds his favourite cereal, croissants, fresh OJ and freshly brewed coffee laid out waiting for him, along with the morning paper - and his 15-year-old son, who is finishing his own breakfast.

'Tell me, son,' he asks, 'what happened last night?''Well, says the boy, 'you came home so blind drunk you didn't even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when Mum tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.''Christ!' says the man.

'Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy and my breakfast is ready?''When Mum dragged you into the bedroom and tried to get your trousers off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, 'Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I'm married!'

Moving on, I wonder if he could smell the divorce request coming his way?

Talk about how trying to get something extra on the side can go horribly wrong!

Anyway, I now have an idea when I will kick the bucket; check the link to see how much longer you have left! TGIF! Nice Weekend All!

You Will Die at Age 91

Congratulations! You take good care of yourself. You're poised to live a long, healthy life.

What Age Will You Die?

Movements, Mates, Meandering Minds and Mangled Missals

In typical African fashion there are still many people who believe that a woman's shining glory should be to whelp out a bunch of brats. But it is good to know that as shown in this article, there are some women who have chosen to go against the grain. Now if you know you are part of the Childfree Movement, do give me a call and we can go out there and build our empire as we enjoy life!

I was talking to my big sister yesterday. She was telling me about how she feels it is important to have someone with you to be your team mate in the game of life, to weather the storms, to rise to the challenges and all that clap trap! Why do I call it clap trap? I agree that it is good to have a mate, but it isn't everything and life isn't unlivable without someone by your side. I think that is because for a long part of my life I was the one who had to be the "man of the house" and over time I got used to doing things by myself or with the help of a few reliable friends (my generals lol). So I got used to bearing alot of the brunts of failure and the joys of success on my own. But that life isn't for everyone, so I can't always knock those who need someone by their side. In spite of this, I think more women should realize that you don't need a special person to go through life, what happens if he never comes? Set up the appropriate support systems in your life, keep on living and forget all that soul mate crap is my piece of advice to all out there!

This week I have been doing some training classes and it is excruciating to say the least! For the last 3 days, I have had to sit in a small class of 12 and be taught for 8 hours with intermittent breaks. The trainer is pretty interesting but not captivating, and unlike high school; there is no-one for me to use for cover so I can sleep (this is a post for some other time). I can't wait till we start computer work because these classes bore me to tears (literally!), I yawned so much that the last time I yawned, so many tears rolled down my cheeks making it look like I had really been moved by the material we were covering in that session. God give me strength to survive the next 2 weeks!

I got this clip from C&D, this dude killed this song! Full marks for trying though!


Prince Phillip Quote of the Day

After accepting a gift off a Kenyan civilian he replied "You are a woman aren't you?"

Race, Relationships and Other Things..........

There are two places where I think that the issue of race is most apparent in my own observation; religion and sex. They call Sunday morning the most segregated time of the week in America. This is because most people will step away from their pretensions of diversity and go worship at their respective churches that are led and attended by people who look and sound just like them. A fully racially diverse church here in the South (I can't speak for up North and other Western Countries) is the exception rather than the rule.

The situation where this is most apparent is porn, headlines like "see amateur co-ed deal with 14 inch monster black cocks, see sexy latina get pounded, big black booty girl , white trash sluts get screwed, tight asian bitch gets wrecked by american dicks." And the list goes on and on. Porn in many ways is a true expression of a people's sexual culture and perceptions. By looking at buttoned up and prim Japanese, who would know that they came up with a concept like Bukakke or the conservative Brits could come up with Movie Buff's all time favourite, soggy biscuit?

I was reading this article in Details magazine online that somehow illustrates my point. A swingers club where black "mandingos" pleasure white men's frumpy wives while the men watch. I have always wondered how a man can let another man have his wife while he watches, I guess it's a white thing. But why couldn't they use some well built white men for that? Well it's because of the perception many white people, educated or otherwise have of black people; insatiable, well endowed sex dynamos.

Another very telling incident was when I helped my friend set up a profile on a popular dating site so she could meet new people, so after the appropriate photoshop work, blurring the pics and all we were good to go. After reading a few of the responses which were mostly from white men in their 30s she decided to take the profile down, some of them would start out by saying stuff like "hello you chocolate thing!, let me be the vanilla in your coffee," profess their love for black women and other race based cliches. It became obvious to me and her that these men were just out to get some brown sugar and not to get to know my friend irregardless of her personality. We all know historically during slavery and during colonization that white men used to have their way with black women and other women of color and many of them still have that colonial hang up where they see them as their own sexual chattels, lesser beings than their own women. After all we know about how many Kenyan women are wooed by their German boyfriends in Kenya and offered a better life abroad only to be turned into sex slaves even before the they have recovered from their jet lag or how Italians have been using children in Malindi to satisfy their prediliction for anal sex (sadly with the collaboration of their impoverished parents), who can forget about all the mixed race children in parts of Maasai land who came as a result of British "Johnies" ambushing any Maasai women they could find? I for one wonder why they don't do the same things in their own countries?

Of course by now we are all aware of the Don Imus saga after her referred to the Rutgers basketball team as nappy headed hos. This man has been a repeat offender with such comments (he once called a black female correspondent a cleaning lady) but I guess his 40 days were over, there is of course the theory that he had been taking his cues from rappers portrayals of black women which we all know leave alot to be desired. But I also do know that many white men who are not rap aficionados don't see past a piece of ebony ass when they see a black woman, I had a friend who dated a white dude; he confessed to her once before they broke up that his dad told him to enjoy screwing her but leave it at that.

To conclude, it isn't that I have anything against inter-racial relations but I do think that before someone jumps off the cliff ( out sources), they should try and find out whether their lover getting into is for all the right reasons or just fulfilling some tawdry race based fantasy. Sad because to be honest I thought we should have moved past the white knight, black mandingo, me love you long time and other racial based sexual stereotypes that are still part prevalent today.